Talk:Moe Drabowsky/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 12:06, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

Am reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 12:06, 8 April 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * Wikilink bullpen
 * "in the National League in strikeouts his rookie season." - in his rookie season.
 * "he was sent to the minors a few times," - minor leagues
 * "the year he had his lowest ERA as a starter." - spell out ERA on its mention, wikilink and put the acroynms in parentheses
 * " Drabowsky was used almost exclusively as a relief pitcher-after three starts in 1966," - the hyphen in this sentence is not needed
 * The acronyms of the American League should be mentioned after its first mention in parentheses
 * "of 2.80, 1.60, and 1.91 his first three years with the club." - during his first three years or in his first three years

Early life

 * Don't use bolding of text outside of the lead please
 * "Drabowsky was a big Boston Red Sox fan." - an avid
 * "who saw he had a good arm." - observed is more formal and less casual
 * Wikilink no-hitter for those unfamiliar with baseball
 * "He had an academic scholarship to the school" - to study at the school

Chicago Cubs (1956–60)

 * "Drabowsky made his major league debut 'August 7, 1956," - on August 7, 1956,
 * "In a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates that day," - held that day,
 * "He gave up 19 home runs, three shy of the previous year's total," - how about using the word relinquished for variety
 * "his season got off to a terrible start." - try to use more formal and neutral wording in place of this portion of text

Milwaukee Braves (1961), Cincinnati Reds (1962), and Kansas City Athletics (1962–65)

 * "the Cubs decided they did not need Drabowsky anymore" - no longer required Drabowsky
 * "he got called up to the big league club" - major league
 * "Back in the majors," - major leagues
 * Wikilink bullpen
 * "He started pitching out of the bullpen some in June" - sometime?
 * "he would lose seven decisions in a row before getting another win June 8" - win on June 8

Baltimore Orioles (1966–68)

 * "and he sported a 3.94 ERA." - the following word I am putting forward is grammatically correct; had a
 * "Drabowsky's ERA fell to 2.59 for his final 35 games." - over his
 * "after starter Dave McNally was '''pulled." - I think you mean withdrawn from the field
 * "Drabowsky got off to another fine start in 1968," - try to reword this sentence so that it is more neutral

Later career

 * "Drabowsky negotiated with his new club for a raise before signing his contract February 28." - contract on February 28, 1969.
 * "June 15, he saw on" - On June 15,
 * "His ERA was even better for the Cardinals the next season;" - better; His ERA improved with the Cardinals during the next season,
 * "but following his release October 6," - on October 6,

Practical joker

 * The entire paragraph would be better off divided into two or three paragraphs to make it more comfortable to read
 * "he once ordered takeout from a Chinese restaurant" - ordered a takeout
 * "such famous players as Brooks Robinson, Paul Blair, and Yogi Berra.[8][43][5]" - refs in numerical order please
 * "Next season, sportswriter Hal Bock was twice the victim of a Drabowsky hot foot during a series in New York" - During the following season,
 * "Drabowsky wondered if he'd gone too far" - he had done something unacceptable

Polish heritage

 * Wikilink National Polish-American Sports Hall of Fame

Personal life

 * "In 1957 Drabowsky met his first wife, Elisabeth Johns," & "A baseball fan, Elizabeth" - it is Elizabeth or Elisabeth?
 * Briefly state who Gil Hodges was
 * I just put Dodgers' star (as opposed to Los Angeles Dodgers') because around this time, it's debatable whether she was a fan of Hodges with Brooklyn or Los Angeles (or both, which would take a while to write out). Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:36, 9 April 2020 (UTC)
 * "Daughter Laura, an actress," - Drabowsky's daughter Laura, an actress,
 * "and Drabowsky got remarried to Rita in the 1990s." - you can state it was in 1990 that he married Rita since it is stated by SABR
 * Wikilink The Sporting News