Talk:Mohini/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: S Masters (talk) 16:10, 12 April 2010 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * All references appear to be in order.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Article covers major aspects and remains focued on its topic.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * Article complies with WP:NPOV.
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * Article appears to be stable.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Images comply to fair use requirements and are properly captioned.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Comments:
 * Some captions have fullstops/periods and others do not. Please ensure that it is consistent throughout.
 * The Mohini legend became popular later retold and was expanded in several later texts and also was celebrated in dance. - Grammar errors in "became popular later retold".
 * Maybe The Mohini legend became popular, and was later retold, expanded in several later texts, and celebrated in dance.? The meaning changes a bit with that, so check that it matches intent.  The desire to tack on stuff with "also..." to lists that already end with "and..." or "also..." is tempting on a wiki, but wikis need facts and polish. :) --an odd name 07:58, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Words such as "Hindu", "transgender", etc. should be wikified on the first mention.
 * Similar tales are also told about demons Surpanaka, Nontok, Virochana and Araka. - Are these all demons? If so, then it should be "...the demons...".
 * Mohini-Krishna is described to marry the Tamil god Aravan.  - Incorrect grammar.
 * Hyphens are used instead of dashes, see WP:DASH.
 * Later versions of the Mahabharata, especially south Indian editions, add few more lines about Mohini identifying her as the maya of Vishnu... - What is "maya"? Terms not familiar to the vast majority of international English language readers need to be wikified on first mention, or defined.
 * There are minor punctuation issues throughout.
 * The above are just some examples of prose issues found in the first few sections of the article.

Summary: Generally, this article has good potential to be a Good Article, however, it has numerous prose issues that prevent it from becoming one. In addition, there are some copyedit and wikilinking issues as listed above. The role of a GA reviewer is not to be a proof reader for articles. I suggest that a third-party, professional-level English language editor, go through the article to correct these issues. You may wish to try someone at WP:GOCE. I will allow seven days for these improvements and fixes to be made, before making any further decisions.


 * So...I've been contacted at GOCE/Requests to help fix this article. BUT, it's a mess. I see the reviewer has started a seven-day clock on repairs. I shall sort this beast out by then. Wish me luck... NielsenGW (talk) 13:30, 14 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ==>Started off bold. Cut down the intro to just relate origin, meaning, and importance. We can leave the detailed story-telling to the inner sections. I plan on having a very large Legends section running the reader through the basic mythology, then into variations of the story, then into other stories where Mohini plays an important role. Then we'll do a worship section, and finish with the customs/dances/ceremonies. Seems logical enough. I got a barnstar riding on this, so I figured I'd really do a job. NielsenGW (talk) 01:22, 15 April 2010 (UTC)
 * ==>Can someone please shrink the lead image? It's way too big and takes a large portion of the header of the article. 200px should be big enough. NielsenGW (talk) 02:10, 15 April 2010 (UTC)


 * There is no facility to decrease img size in the infobox.-- Redtigerxyz Talk 11:35, 17 April 2010 (UTC)


 * Added img size to template and corrected. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 14:17, 17 April 2010 (UTC)


 * DONE...let's see what the reviewer has to say about it now. NielsenGW (talk) 21:12, 17 April 2010 (UTC)


 * मोहिनी should be part of the lead, next to the name of the article, and it should be presented using the lang tag.
 * Done. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 06:31, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * "Shiva then extols Vishnu's power.[11][13][26][27][28]" There is no need for so many references for one sentence. If the references refer to other parts of the paragraph, then put the references where they belong. If not, then choose the best two references and remove the rest. Do the same whenever you see more than two references.
 * The picture that causes the heading "Other legends" to be indented looks messy. Move it up so that it is not indented.
 * Done by somebody else. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 06:31, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The picture of the Mohiniyattam performer causes a huge white space to appear on the left. Rearrange it to fix the white space.
 * Check. Removed clear tag that created the space. Else the only soln is to remove the img. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 06:31, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * The Mohini pillar picture is causing two headings to be indented. Move it right, and adjust all the other pictures accordingly to allow for a pleasing layout.
 * Done. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 06:31, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * There is a single page in the reference with "pp.".
 * We are nearly there. Thanks to all the editors that have worked hard to get this right. Just a bit more to go. -- S Masters (talk) 05:25, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Done all. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 13:46, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

Final comments: Thank you for all the hard work in making this a better article. I am now satisfied that the article now meets all the requirements to be a Good Article, and I am happy to pass it. -- S Masters (talk) 14:40, 18 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot. -- Redtigerxyz Talk 15:57, 18 April 2010 (UTC)