Talk:Mood Swings (Pop Smoke song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 12:57, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

Taking this on straight after I have submitted "Clique" for GAN! --K. Peake 17:43, 9 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove Kiwi from the infobox per Template:Infobox song
 * "American rapper Pop Smoke featuring" → "American rapper Pop Smoke, featuring"
 * "from the formers" → "from the former's"
 * Add release year of the album in brackets
 * "alongside Lil Tjay who" → "alongside Lil Tjay, who"
 * "Dizzy Banko, and Kiwi." → "Dizzy Banko, while Kiwi contributed co-production."
 * "A remix featuring" → "A remix that features"
 * "while an EP was released" → "while an EP was released for the song" to avoid confusion with the remix
 * Why does the lead say that they "sing about" the subject when the body says the performers "rap about" it? Singing and rapping are two different things...
 * "received generally positive reviews" → "received mixed to positive reviews" because the reception demonstrates the latter, not the former
 * "including Norway, where it" → "including Portugal, where it"
 * "in The United States by" → "in the United States by"
 * "An accompany visualizer was made for" → "A visualizer was made for"
 * "Jordyn Woods and Dylan" → "Jordyn Woods, and Dylan"
 * "was made and" → "was made for the song and"
 * "David Wept and features Lil Tjay and his girlfriend, Lala Baptiste," → "David Wept, and features Lil Tjay and Lala Baptiste" since not only should she solely be introduced in the body, but the succeeding prose here mentions them being in a relationship anyway

Background and composition
Beat Menance said it right here: "so they wanted me to put my flavor over it." The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:14, 10 January 2021 (UTC) ❌, doesn't need to be mentioned a lot. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:14, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
 * "Pop Smoke and Lil Tjay previously collaborated" → "Prior to "Mood Swings", Pop Smoke and Lil Tjay had previously collaborated"
 * ""Mary Jane" and "Zoo York", the latter from" → ""Mary Jane", and "Zoo York"; the latter of the four is from"
 * "had a different beat. Producer Beat Menace" → "had a different beat; American record producer Beat Menace"
 * "as the label wanted" → "since the label wanted" but where does the source mention the label wanting the flavor?
 * Wikilink cadence
 * Target flow to Flow (rapping) per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Since you mention the label for the second time in the para when saying about the engineer, you should put the name of the label here if known
 * "to further work on it. Lil Tjay" → "to further work on it; Lil Tjay"
 * "alongside Lil Tjay who" → "alongside Lil Tjay, who"
 * "handled "Mood Swings" programming." → "handled the programming for "Mood Swings"." with the target
 * "Beat Menace, Dizzy Banko, and Kiwi." → "Beat Menace and Dizzy Banko, while co-produced by Kiwi." removing the following sentence, as Tidal credits co-producers under producers too and those who served as producers are the ones that are only credited for that production classification
 * Target Mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * "were credited assistant mixers." → "were credited as assistant mixers."
 * Target Jess Jackson to Jess Jackson (record producer)
 * Target engineers to Audio engineer
 * "was later released worldwide" → "was later released" because that source is a BBC one, which does not provide verification of a worldwide release
 * Introduce who Summer Walker is
 * "She stated she" → "The singer-songwriter stated she"
 * "on an EP of the same name," → "on an EP for "Mood Swings" of the same name," to be specific
 * "percussive production which" → "percussive production, which" with the target
 * "artists' amorous lyrics"." → "artists' amorous lyrics."" for consistency
 * "Pop Smoke and Lil Tjay "effortlessly" raps" → "Pop Smoke "effortlessly" raps" since the source only mentions him rapping; this should be changed in the lead too
 * Could you add some info about Lil Tjay's verse here?
 * Can't find any sources that talk about his verses. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:14, 10 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink birth control

Critical reception

 * Shouldn't this be retitled to Reception since TikTok trending doesn't classify as "critics" really?
 * "was met with generally positive reviews" → "was met with mixed to positive reviews"
 * "sound on 808s and Heartbreak," → "sound on 808s & Heartbreak (2008),"
 * "the song, along with "Something Special", is so romantic," → "the song and "Something Special" are so romantic" to not read confusingly with the quote that follows
 * "genuinely touching fashion"" → "genuinely touching fashion.""
 * "noted that Pop Smoke sounded" → "noted that Pop Smoke sounds"
 * "the unsettling lyrics"." → "the unsettling lyrics.""
 * The Atlantic's Hannah Giorgis → Giorgis, as you have already introduced her, plus this review should not be at the end of the section since it belongs with the positive ones
 * Why have you not moved this review as I suggested since it is not a negative one? --K. Peake 06:37, 10 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The remix of "Mood Swings" featuring Summer Walker also received" → "The remix of "Mood Swings" was received with" because the original did not receive generally positive reviews, unlike the remix

Commercial performance

 * "at number number 8 on" → "at number eight on" per MOS:NUM
 * Why have you kept the excess word? --K. Peake 06:37, 10 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "It was certified double platinum" → "The song was certified double platinum"
 * The first and second top 10 single claims are not backed up; add the two artists' respective chart history for doing so
 * "It was certified silver" → "The song was certified silver"
 * Merge the Denmark and Iceland sentence with the Australia and New Zealand one, but keep the refs where they are
 * "It received a" → "The song received a"
 * "of over 70,000 copies." → "of over 70,000 copies in Australia."
 * "The song was most successful" → "It was most successful" to stop from starting two consecutive sentences with "the song"
 * "at number one on the chart." → "at number one on the country's singles chart."

Music videos

 * Wikilink music video on the img text
 * "not show either" → "not show neither"
 * "Jordyn Woods and Dylan" → "Jordyn Woods, and Dylan"
 * "post that captioned:" → "post that he captioned:"
 * "and the Gonzalez," → "and the Gonzalezes,"
 * "as they fix their hair," → "while they fix their hair," to avoid repeating "as" too closely
 * [43][44][46][47][48] should not all be at the end of the sentence since five refs is too many; move around to being after appropriate commas for a few or more
 * Remove or replace Hollywood Life since that is an unreliable gossip site
 * "the song a huge failure. They deemed it was not enough" → "the song a huge failure, deeming that it was not enough"
 * "and requested for a" → "and requesting for a"
 * ❌, seems awkward when read out loud. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:14, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I did some copy editing here to comply with both of our viewpoints. --K. Peake 06:37, 10 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [53] is useless at the end of the sentence where it precedes [49], as the latter backs all of the sentence up
 * "and said "Tjay" → "and said, "Tjay"

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings

Credits and personnel

 * Producers should come before programmers per the credits order
 * produce, co-producer → co-producer

Charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until the issues are fixed, but this is a reasonably large article so you definitely deserve the congrats up to this point! --K. Peake 17:43, 9 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, all of your issues should be fixed. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 02:14, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
 * A few more need fixing, as I have pointed out above. --K. Peake 06:37, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Done. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:15, 10 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I am very impressed with such a quick response from you to my replies, but do you think you could review "Clique"? ✅ for this confidently, great job! --K. Peake 07:26, 10 January 2021 (UTC)