Talk:Morgan Morgan Monument/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 19:15, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this in the next few days.  ceran  thor 19:15, 7 June 2018 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * "The Morgan Morgan Monument, also known as Morgan Park,[7] is a 1.05-acre (0.4 ha) roadside park along Winchester Avenue (U.S. Route 11) and Mill Creek in the unincorporated town of Bunker Hill in Berkeley County, West Virginia. " - this may be a bit too packed for the first sentence, can you split it into two?
 * "It was the only state park ever to have been operated in Berkeley County. " - is operated the right word here?
 * "The West Virginia Road Commission (later West Virginia Division of Highways) resumed its operation of the Morgan Morgan Monument in 1970 and maintains it as a roadside park." - kind of confused by what this sentence is trying to say


 * Geography and setting
 * "and two West Virginia highway markers located to the immediate south of the monument.[7] " - immediately south of
 * "Morgan's first crude shelter.[8][9]" - unclear what this means
 * "The monument's park is bound to its west by Winchester Avenue (U.S. Route 11) and its bridge over Mill Creek," - "its bridge over Mill Creek" doesn't read right; rephrase
 * "The Inwood Quarry is located 3,256 feet (992 m) to the east of the monument.[1][10]" - seems odd to describe the location of another object rather than the Monument; perhaps invert?
 * "The Morgan Morgan Monument is located within the Mill Creek Historic District " - located within seems redundant
 * "and is in proximity to several Morgan family properties " - just say near
 * "1,278.7 feet (390 m)" - this seems awfully precise; perhaps a display error?
 * "The William G. Morgan House (site of Morgan Acres and Morgan's first crude shelter) is 2.4 miles (4 km) west of the monument.[1][15] Cool Spring Farm, the home of Morgan's son Zackquill Morgan and the site of Morgan Cabin, is located 2.7 miles (4 km) to the west of the monument.[1][13][16]" - same notes as the quarry


 * History
 * "that the exiled Charles II awarded to seven of his supporters in 1649 during the English Interregnum.[21][22][23]" - for non-western readers, worthwhile to mention Charles II was a king
 * "Morgan Morgan arrived in the Bunker Hill area around 1731" - not around, but circa
 * "Morgan served on its new commission of the peace.[34]" - functionally, what does this mean?
 * "Governor Morgan, who appointed and had oversight of the monument's commission," - reads awkwardly
 * "In 1962 the monument was included as a stop on the Annual House and Garden Tour of Shepherdstown, Martinsburg, Charles Town, and Harpers Ferry, which was sponsored by the Shenandoah–Potomac Garden Council.[48][49][50]" - can this be integrated into the following paragraph?
 * "As of 2016, the park is erroneously listed in the West Virginia Blue Book as Bunker Hill State Park.[37]" - what makes this important? what's a blue book?


 * Monument description
 * "The Morgan Morgan Monument consists of a tall Barre, Vermont, granite stone" - odd to describe the stone as "Barre, Vermont" this way; might be clearer if you say a "tall, granite stone from Barre, VT"
 * "Altogether, the monument measures 12.5 feet (4 m) in total height.[41]" - why are "altogether" and "total" both in the sentence? redundant


 * References
 * Seem fine for the most part... will do spotchecks later.
 * What makes HMdb.org a reliable source?
 * In ref 7, you don't need to say 'of the PDF file'. Just p. 5 is fine. Also re-cite this within the main body text like you did in the lead.
 * The same is true for the other 'of the PDF file' references; this includes 12, 14, 15, 16, 19, and 31.
 * Spot checks seem fine.


 * Earwig's Tool
 * Checks out.

Good work so far on this article.  ceran  thor 21:35, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

Note: Afraid I have to fail this for inactivity. Once West Virginian returns from his break, I will gladly review the article again for GAN.  ceran  thor 18:53, 21 June 2018 (UTC)