Talk:Morph (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 16:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)

I will start this review shortly! --K. Peake 16:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove the home studio from the infobox since that has no particular name
 * Pipe R&B to Contemporary R&B
 * Remove Paul Meany per Template:Infobox song on co-producers
 * "from their fifth studio album" → "from their fifth studio album,"
 * "It was written by" → "The song was written by"
 * "The track was produced by Joseph alongside Paul Meany of Mutemath and" → "It was produced by Joseph, with co-production from Paul Meany of Mutemath, and"
 * ""Morph" was one of the less conceptual parts" → "the song is one of the less conceptual parts" for correct tense, as the album exists in the present
 * "it still revealed more" → "it still reveals more"
 * "city called "DEMA."" → "city called "DEMA"."
 * "comes in "Morph" with" → "comes in the song with"
 * The second para should begin with the genre sentence followed by other comp info, as this stuff belongs before lyrics
 * "as the band tries" → "as the duo tries"
 * "The duo incorporate" → "They incorporate"
 * "life into "Morph."" → "life into the song."
 * "on how Tyler Joseph will" → "on how Joseph will"
 * "moving forward and continue" → "moving forward, and continue"
 * "so he doesn't wallow in" → "to prevent him wallowing in" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Why is lounge jazz mentioned as a genre here when elsewhere, lounge and jazz are listed as two genres?
 * Pipe R&B to Contemporary R&B
 * Pipe hooks to Hook (music)
 * Wikilink horn sections
 * Wikilink electric piano
 * "illustrating both restraint as well as" → "illustrating restraint as well as"
 * Pipe percussion to Percussion instrument
 * Why no mention of critical reception in the lead?
 * ""Morph" managed to achieve" → "The song managed to achieve" but the part about no single release should be removed, as this is a 2018 release and it had already become common for non-singles to chart by then
 * "and 67 in" → "and number 67 in"

Background

 * Retitle to Background and conception
 * "the songs from their fifth studio album, Trench," → "the songs from Trench,"
 * "a world called "Trench."" → "a world called "Trench"."
 * "was one of the less" → "is one of the less" for correct tense
 * "and lacked symbolic origin stories." → "and lacks symbolic origin stories."
 * "didn't tell one" → "does not tell one"
 * "a city called "DEMA."" → "a city called "DEMA"."
 * [3] should be solely at the end of the para due to being used for all of the parts after [2]
 * "came early in" → "comes early in"
 * "track three with "Morph."" → "track three with "Morph"."
 * "nine bishops and one of" → "nine bishops, as well as one of"
 * "While other songs felt" → "While other songs feel"
 * "was among the songs" → "stands among the songs"
 * "the band attempts to" → "the duo attempts to"
 * "expounds on how Tyler Joseph" → "expounds on how Joseph"
 * "moving forward and continue" → "moving forward, and continue"

Recording

 * Retitle to Recording and writing
 * "who co-produced it with" → "while co-produced by"
 * Introduce Meany's Mutemath here rather than later on, as he is the only one of two producers listed
 * "The track was then" → "The track was" unless the liner notes specify the mix being later (I have no access to them)
 * Pipe mastered to Mastering (audio)
 * Remove the basement sentence because it is repeated from the previous section and he mentions that in the quote within this section anyway
 * "for their fifth studio album at United Recording Studios and chose to" → "for Trench at United Recording Studios, choosing to"
 * Remove wikilink on record producer
 * Swap the second para with the third since the former is the one that deals with writing
 * "Tyler Joseph explained the approach" → "Joseph explained the approach"
 * "According to Tyler Joseph," → "According to Joseph,"
 * "continued vocalist Tyler Joseph and drummer Josh Dun's" → "continued Joseph and Josh Dun's" with the wikilink
 * "measures from Blurryface," → "measures from the duo's fourth studio album Blurryface (2015)," with the wikilink
 * "bases and paranoid raps," → "bases, and paranoid raps,"
 * "played around with a" → "experimented with a" to be more encyclopaedic
 * Wikilink funky
 * "R&B on "Morph."" → "R&B on "Morph"." with the pipe
 * "production assisted by Paul Meany of Mutemath." → "production, assisted by Meany."
 * "with much of the record" → "with much of the album"
 * "scattering things such as Tyler Joseph's" → "scattering content such as Joseph's"
 * "The track was equipped with falsetto R&B" → "The track is equipped with R&B" because you shouldn't give the full info here to avoid repetition
 * "also deployed accelerated" → "also deploys accelerated" but bare in mind, I have not requested tense change for ones that are from sources detailing the recording specifically (the other info belongs here, but it is still about the song in its existent state)
 * "demonstrating how much of a virtuoso percussionist Dun had become." → "demonstrating Dun as a virtuoso percussionist." with the pipe

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics
 * ""Morph" is a" → "Musically, "Morph" is a"
 * Are you sure lounge and jazz are separate genres when the source calls it "lounge jazz"?
 * The length is not directly mentioned by the source; it only says the song is slightly over four minutes
 * Remove wikilink on R&B
 * [7][2] should be put in numerical order
 * "Musically, the song features" → "The song features"
 * Remove wikilink on horn section
 * Remove wikilink on electric piano
 * Remove wikilink on falsetto
 * "from Tyler Joseph being" → "from Joseph being"
 * [13][12][9] put in numerical order
 * "left turns while demonstrating" → "left turns, while demonstrating"
 * "and Josh Dun's virtuosic" → "and Dun's virtuosic"
 * Remove wikilink on percussion
 * Remove pipe on common time
 * Remove pipe on beats per minute
 * "It attempt to come to" → "They attempt to come to"
 * "Nevertheless, the band" → "Nevertheless, Twenty One Pilots"
 * Pipe chorus to Refrain
 * Pipe double meaning to Double entendre
 * "on how Tyler Joseph" → "on how Joseph"
 * "moving forward and continue" → "moving forward, and continue" but the problem is that this is full on repeated from earlier; shouldn't you crop the part in the other section to avoid overly repeating things?
 * "can truly "hear."" → "can truly "hear"." per MOS:QUOTE

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Reception and add the chart listings as the second para since everything in the lead needs to be written out in the body
 * Remove pipe on Trench
 * "Neil Z. Yeung complimented Tyler Joseph's" → "Neil Z. Yeung complimented Joseph's"
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section but remember, this does not apply to full sentences quoted
 * "...This is" → "[...] This is"
 * "advised, "...take my" → "advised to "take my" but try to cut down the amount quoted from here onwards per WP:QUOTEFARM
 * Remove wikilink on concept album
 * "Chris DeVille claimed," → "Chris DeVille asserted,"
 * "Keith Spera cites" → "Keith Spera cited"
 * Remove pipe on rap
 * "Jason Pettigrew for Alternative Press remarked," → "Jason Pettigrew, for Alternative Press, remarked,"
 * Remove wikilink on Lounge Jazz

Live performance

 * "featured Tyler Joseph wearing" → "featured Joseph wearing"
 * [15] should be solely at the end of the para due to being the only ref of it
 * Pipe ski mask to Balaclava (clothing
 * "both the duo's recent studio album Trench and their Bandito Tour," → "both Trench and the duo's The Bandito Tour,"

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * Any specific order here?
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * The New Zealand chart position is not backed up by the source
 * Sweden Heatseeker → Sweden Heatseekers

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; good job with the broadness but you need to fix mostly repetition and the ref layout! --K. Peake 20:16, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Nice job working on this so far, but you should have left a comment to notify me since I had no idea until checking the article days after the review – you still need to implement the fixes for charts and refs, however. --K. Peake 10:52, 23 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I am sadly going to have to ❌ this article since despite it being onhold for so long and the user having continuous prompts, they have still yet to work on the charts and references issues properly. I know it's only two sections, but it's bigger than it seems in areas like the Plugged In ref that is invoked more than five times. However, if the issues are fixed and this is re-nominated, I will probably take it back up! --K. Peake 06:06, 9 April 2021 (UTC)