Talk:Mosaic of Dominus Julius, Carthage

Sara, You're off to a great start and have pulled together some important information on your topic. The main revisions ahead are to get the entry more in line with its audience/context in Wikipedia, so here are a few elements to consider:


 * include links throughout to other Wikipedia entries
 * bring in some images of the mosaic that are already in Wikimedia commons
 * proofread to remove minor glitches such as "contains a woman leaned against "
 * vary word choice more such as in "This idea communicates an ideal"
 * some of the mechanics, such a capitalization also need a little fine-tuning such as in "pre-vandal"
 * the first source needs to be fixed so that it shows author, title, etc

Overall though in terms of substance, your content, your draft is in a good place already. Please touch base with any questions!

AMcClanan (talk) 20:56, 26 November 2018 (UTC)


 * Hi Sara! You've done a good job using scholarly language and thorough analysis in your article. Every fact you present is sourced as well, and your paragraphs are broken up in a way that successfully separates the information. My recommendations for you would be to source other Wikipedia articles, which might allow you to have less writing on your page that explains these relevant, yet separate topics. I'm not sure what information is available about your topic, but it might be nice to hear a little more about the actual construction or materials used to create the mosaic.

--Sagemw (talk) 01:25, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback for Sara
Hi Sara,

Excellent post! You provide thorough description and analysis of the images. Your writing is well connected with other research that builds support for your post. I also appreciated your clear organization of information. For possible revisions, it would be helpful if you used clearer language. For example, try to use the active voice more than the passive voice. It will help clarify your argument and strengthen your post. Otherwise, great job! Madeline Michalk (talk) 01:51, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback from Prof McClanan, 12/7
Please address the issues re: sections, it's being an orphan, etc. and email me when the updates have happened by Sunday--thanks!

AMcClanan (talk) 22:48, 7 December 2018 (UTC)