Talk:Moston Brook/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 18:29, 9 May 2019 (UTC)

I will review this.  ceran  thor 18:29, 9 May 2019 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for taking the time to review the article. I look forward to seeing your feedback in due course. Cheers, Del U sion23 (talk)  20:20, 9 May 2019 (UTC)

Prose

 * Lead
 * "The brook is formed at the confluence of Bower Brook and Hole Bottom Brook near the Rochdale Canal in Failsworth in the Metropolitan Borough of Oldham. " - nothing technically wrong with this sentence; it just gets a bit overwhelming with the introduction of so many nouns. Can you split this into two shorter sentences perhaps? ✅
 * "It flows south west" - why two separate words? Or is this supposed to read "south to west"? ✅
 * " culverted almost all of the remaining route to its meeting the River Irk." - might be worth linking culvert for a lay reader ✅
 * "It has a total length of around 3.7 miles (6 kilometres)." - should be "about", not "around" ✅
 * "Clay and sand pits which once fed brick works, were later used for landfill sites." - why the comma here? ✅ added comma earlier in sentence.
 * "Its heavy industrial use and urban location led to the brook becoming badly polluted." - by "Its" do you mean the last landfill? ✅ rephrased to emphasise that it is the brook which is being referred to, not the landfill.
 * Lead is a bit long; might be worth combining into two longer paragraphs ✅


 * Course
 * "The brook flows approximately 3.7 miles (6.0 km) from its source to its confluence with the River Irk, forming part of the River Irwell drainage basin.[1] [...] The source of Moston Brook is now hidden" - confused... what exactly is its source? Does it have a name? ✅ added info and split sentence so that it didn't get too long.
 * "which flows from the Werneth area[3] and close to a pumping station in South Chadderton.[2] " - Not sure you need the "and" here ✅ It flows from Werneth, then passes the pumping station. Made this clearer.
 * "The brook then flows south west," - same note as lead; why two words? ✅
 * "The main part of the brook that is currently above ground is broken down into the following areas:[8]" - nitpick, but you should be consistent with using punctuation at the end of each of these points or not ✅


 * History
 * "alley slopes were smoothed, paths and steps were incorporated, drainage channels were installed, and stabilisation work was conducted.[4]" - elsewhere you haven't used the serial comma; you need to be consistent throughout the article ✅


 * Environment
 * "It was considered one of the most difficult bodies of water in the Water Framework Directive.[1] " - most difficult meaning what, though? ✅ rephrased. The most challenging to improve (in the context of the section, Pollution)
 * "There is a local friends group called Moston Brook Friends Group.[8]" - any more info on what they specifically do? Just a bit more info would be useful. ✅
 * "The Rochdale Canal Special Area of Conservation (SAC) and Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) which is a European Designated Site of international conservation importance and the Moston Fairway Nature Reserve (former railway sidings at Moston) a Site of Biological Importance (SBI) which is a designated site of sub-regional nature conservation importance.[24]" - would suggest rewriting this, as currently it took me two reads to figure out which "two sites" you meant (just a lot of verbiage) ✅


 * Recreation
 * "For example, an annual Fun Day is held on Lower Failsworth Memorial Land.[8]" - for whom? what activities does it include? ✅
 * "the project officer has conducted bat surveys with the local community.[22]" - are bat surveys considered recreation? Unsure about that, ha... ✅ It's more of a tour to see the bats, rather than a survey. Changed to reflect this.

Images

 * File:Moston Brook, Manchester.jpg - checks out ✅
 * File:Greater Manchester UK relief location map.jpg - checks out ✅
 * File:Moston Brook OpenStreetMap.png - seems fine ✅
 * File:Moston Brook and the White Hills, east of Belgrave Road, November 1970.jpg - not totally sure about this one; can you clarify the contact with author bit? ✅ clarified on Commons
 * File:Moston Brook, Manchester - Williams Road culvert inflow.jpg - checks out ✅
 * File:Song Thrush (Turdus philomelos) singing in tree.jpg - source link broken; unsure about this one. ✅ changed to a Geograph image that has a working source
 * File:2013 Moston Brook Fun Day 1.jpg - same as above; can you clarify contact with author? ✅ clarified on Commons
 * File:2013 Moston Brook Fun Day 2.jpg - contact with author clarification ✅ clarified on Commons


 * Regarding contact with authors, the Moston Brook project officer and I contacted the authors of the photographs via email and they confirmed that they were happy to donate the photographs to Wikimedia Commons with CC licence. Is this sufficient? Del U sion23 (talk)  15:57, 20 May 2019 (UTC)

Nice work. Mostly minor concerns. Give me a ping when you address these/reply.  ceran  thor 19:21, 15 May 2019 (UTC)


 * Thanks very much for the thorough review. I have gone through the points, ticking off the ones I believe to be resolved, but please do check. The ones labelled "doing" or "question" I have written a response. Please can you respond to these? If there are any further queries or suggestions arising I'll be happy to respond further. Thanks again, Del U sion<b style="color: black;">23</b> (talk)  16:15, 20 May 2019 (UTC)
 * I think your explanations for the references are sufficient to justify them, at least at the GA level of scrutiny. As for the contact with author notes, I would just add what you mentioned above to the descriptions on Commons, so that it's slightly more clear. Good work - I'll pass this now.  ceran  thor 17:36, 21 May 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much! I've checked off the remaining references and also the images after first clarifying the source on Commons. Cheers, <b style="color: green;">Del</b> U <b style="color: green;">sion</b><b style="color: black;">23</b> (talk)  18:08, 21 May 2019 (UTC)