Talk:Moviestar (Harpo song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:16, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

I will review this article today --K. Peake 07:16, 20 June 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Invoked a note next to "I Don't Know Why" saying it was the B-side in the rest of Europe, as the worldwide release is not backed up
 * Pipe Skärmarbrink to Skärmarbrink metro station in the infobox
 * The pop genre is not sourced in the body and only Schlager influences are mentioned
 * Mention in the first sentence that it was "for his seventh studio album of the same name (1976)"
 * The second sentence of the first para should be the backing vocals one instead
 * The lead is quite poorly ordered; for starters, the rejection sentence should be the fourth sentence of the first para, then the recording one and release afterwards
 * ""Moviestar" tells the story of an individual who believes to be an A-list actor" → "It tells the story of an individual who dreams of being an actor"
 * "It makes multiple references to" → "Multiple references are made to" but the pop culture part is not directly sourced anywhere in the body
 * "producer Bengt Palmers rejected it as he felt he could not properly produce the record." → "Bengt Palmers rejected it as he felt he could not properly undertake production."
 * Sveriges Television should not be italicised
 * Remove the previous connections part since this is only notable for the body, not the lead
 * Remove overly obvious wikilink on United Kingdom
 * Critical reception should come before commercial performance
 * "became a hit on" → "became a hit in"
 * Remove wikilink on Continental Europe
 * Remove wikilink on Netherlands
 * "during August of that year. It made it's way across" → "during August 1975. The song moved across"
 * Remove wikilink on Scandinavia
 * "The single was well-received" → ""Moviestar" was well-received"
 * Wikilink signature song

Background

 * Remove wikilink on Stockholm, also the theatre is not sourced as being there
 * "There he met several people" → "There Harpo met several people"
 * The songs catching the attention of those friends is not sourced
 * "which would eventually attract the attention of" → "eventually attracting the attention of"
 * Pipe Stig "Stikkan" Andersson to Sting Anderson
 * Pipe pop to Pop music
 * Fix MOS:QWQ issues on the quote box
 * "Instead, he signed with" → "Instead, Harpo signed with"
 * Introduce Bengt Palmers as being a producer
 * "his single "Sayonara" managed" → "Harpo's single "Sayonara" managed"
 * "he saw virtually no" → "Harpo initially saw virtually no"
 * The story being amusing for Harpo is not sourced
 * "his record label to record the song." → "his record label to record it." but this is not sourced, unless my translator is faulty?
 * Sveriges Radio should not be italicised
 * "which Harpo would state" → "which Harpo would explain"

Composition and recording

 * Img looks good!
 * Swap the lyrical and musical paras around
 * "the song follows an" → "the song follows the story of an" but none of this sentence is sourced by the ref invoked
 * Pipe third-person perspective to Gender neutrality in languages with gendered third-person pronouns
 * "reveals that this actor has" → "reveal the actor has"
 * Pipe television commercials to Television advertisement
 * Sveriges Radio should not be italicised
 * "this brought some dept" → "this brought some depth" but this quote is unsourced
 * "Musically, the song is rather upbeat with" → "Musically, "Moviestar" has an upbeat style with" but can't you sourced any genres?
 * "that come in after each" → "that come in after the"
 * Pipe choruses to Refrain
 * "The song features a" → "It features a"
 * "written by producer Bengt Palmers," → "written by Palmers,"
 * "to his producer Bengt Palmers, it was" → "to Palmers, it was"
 * "Since Harpo already hade" → "Since Harpo already had"
 * Remove wikilink on Stockholm
 * Remove wikilink on ABBA
 * Remove wikilink on Polar Music
 * "backing voice came Lena Ericsson who" → "backing voice came from Lena Ericsson, who"

Release and commercial performance

 * "as English division of" → "as the English division of"
 * "through a smaller record label, DJM Records on" → "through smaller record label DJM Records on"
 * "It was released across Europe" → either change to the rest of Europe or Continental Europe, depending on where it was released
 * Pipe radio stations to Radio broadcasting
 * "by his own." → "on his own."
 * "In Sweden, France and UK" → "In Sweden, France and the United Kingdom" but where is the UK release sourced?
 * "his debut album Leo The Leopard the previous year." → "Harpo's debut album Leo The Leopard (1975)."
 * Pipe gold disc to Music recording certification on the img text
 * "the Netherlands on the Dutch Top 40; it entered" → "the Netherlands in the Dutch Top 40, entering"
 * "it would enter" → "the song would enter"
 * ""Moviestar" had significant appeal in" → ""Moviestar" experienced significant success in"
 * Remove wikilink on German speaking world
 * Remove wikilink on Germany
 * Remove wikilink on Austria
 * Remove wikilink on Switzerland
 * "weeks while it was at number-one for four weeks" → "weeks, while spending four weeks at number-one"
 * Shouldn't number-one have a dash always for consistency?
 * "a hit in Oceania, reaching the top-ten" → "a hit in Oceania, reaching the top-10" per MOS:NUM
 * Remove wikilink on Australia
 * Remove wikilink on New Zealand
 * [17] should only be invoked once in the sentence
 * Remove wikilink on Scandinavia
 * "while also reaching" → "while also peaking at" but this position is not sourced, also why is an additional citation used for position 3 in Denmark here?
 * Remove wikilink on Finland
 * Italicise Svensktoppen
 * Add a full-stop at the end of the above sentence rather than a semi-colon
 * "was blocked by DJM who" → "was blocked by DJM, who"
 * ""Movie Star" becoming a chart hit in the UK; it reached" → ""Movie Star" becoming a chart hit in the UK, reaching" to start the sentence, unless a source can be added to back up them relenting
 * The capitalization through the release is not sourced
 * "reached number two," → "reached number two on two respective weeks," or something similar, but the positions are not sourced by the URLs; maybe add archives?
 * Wikilink compilation albums

Critical Reception and legacy

 * Retitle to Critical reception and legacy
 * No year from the 21st century, yet alone 2012 is mentioned here so remove the img per lack of relevance
 * "by Expressen, who write that" → "by the staff of Expressen, who write"
 * "production" by Bengt Palmers." → "production" by Palmers."
 * "by the backing comp" → "by the backing composition"
 * If there is a bass guitarist, should his instrument be mentioned in comp or is the role not really detailed enough?
 * wrote that "Moviestar certainly" → "write that "Moviestar certainly" and introduce this as being by staff too
 * "but compares the song" → "and compare the song"
 * "the single is described as" → "the staff describe the single as"
 * "They end the review" → "The staff end the review"
 * "with Sveriges Radio, he stated" → "with Sveriges Radio, he stated:"
 * "for Sveriges Television however, he stated" → "for Sveriges Television however, Harpo said"
 * Pipe royalties to Royalty payment
 * Around the start of the third para, you should mention the one million figure noted in the lead
 * Pipe "Shenandoah" to Oh Shenandoah and add the release year
 * "It is therefore cited" → "The song has therefore been cited"
 * "amongst Germans which has led Harpo to" → "amongst Germans, leading Harpo to"

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Weekly charts

 * Pipe Suomen virallinen lista to The Official Finnish Charts
 * SNEP should not be italicised
 * (VG-Lista) → (VG-lista) with the wikilink
 * Shouldn't the Swedish charts be in alphabetical order?
 * Place Media Control in brackets instead and pipe to GfK Entertainment charts

Year-end charts

 * The charts needn't be linked here when you have already done that in weekly

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; the thing I noticed most to be honest was a messy ref layout. --K. Peake 14:52, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
 * ❌ time, as it has been a month now and no response whatsoever even after I posted on the user's talk page. --K. Peake 09:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)