Talk:Mr. Niebla/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 19:58, 25 September 2019 (UTC)

Going to review this article. MWright96 (talk) 19:58, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

General

 * All those wrestlers with the Jr. suffix attached to their names should not have the comma before it per MOS:JR
 * The hyphens in the sub-headings need to be replaced by en dashes

Lead

 * "He is known for his more comedic in ring style," - to avoid using the term "known" how about changing this text to He has a comedic in-ring style,?
 * "dancing and mocking his opponents during the match." - better: during a match.
 * "while Mr. Niebla himself has won the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship," - reword to and Mr. Nibela won the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship solo,
 * "won the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship, and been a part of teams that have won" - better to avoid a run-on sentence He has been part of the teams that have won

Professional wrestling career

 * "Later on he would work under various" - change the text in bold to Later,
 * "Later on he would work under various other ring names and various mask as" - under various ring names and masks such as
 * "he finally came up with the name "Mr. Niebla" which he has used ever since." - an improvement: Mr. Niebla, which he has used since.

Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre (1995-2007)
* "and felt he would get better opportunities elsewhere." - you can't know what Nibela felt, you can only know what he said he felt
 * "The storyline between the two Mr. Nieblas came to an end when the two met" - more concise: ended
 * " Mr. Niebla continued to team with Shocker but the team were not able to win the Tag Team title back." - more neutral and formal albeit the duo were unable to reclaim the Tag Team title.
 * "In the main event match of CMLL's 66th Anniversary show," - the first two words highlighted in bold are redundant; would be better worded as primary match of the CMLL's 66th Anniversary show
 * "In October 1998 Mr. Niebla suffered an injury during a match, an injury that was so severe that Mr. Niebla was forced to vacate both the Trios title and the Tag Team title." - This sentence looks to be unnecessarily long; it would be better to trim it down to During a match in October 1998, Mr. Nibela sustained a severe injury, requiring him to vacate the Trios and the Tag Team titles.
 * "even wearing the same style mask and trunks as the original Mr. Niebla." - how about changing "even wearing" to adopting?
 * "IWRG claimed that the original Mr. Niebla did not actually own the rights to the name but was given it by a trainer and that the IWRG had gotten permission from that same individual to use the Mr. Niebla name." - Better and more concise: IWRG stated that the original Mr. Niebla did not won the naming rights and a trainer gave him the name with the promotion obtaining permission from the trainer.
 * "Mr. Niebla continued to team with Shocker but the team were not able to win the Tag Team title back." - better: Shocker; the team were unable to reclaim the Tag Team title.
 * "Only a week prior, on June 16, 2002," - The first four words highlighted in bold text should be written as One week prior; plus you don't need to repeat the year since it is already mentioned in the prior sentence.
 * "In late 2006 or early 2007 Mr. Niebla left CMLL, he would later explain" - Better: Around late 2006 to early 2007, Mr. Niebla left CMLL. He
 * "he would later explain the decision to as a desire for him to not "go backward" down the rankings of the promotion" - more grammatically correct: explain the decision to leave as a desire for him not to
 * I am not seeing the issue here? He stated he felt like he would get better opportunities elsewhere, which is what the article says isn't it? MPJ-DK (talk) 20:53, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
 * Struck MWright96 (talk) 06:54, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Asistencia Asesoría y Administración (2007-2008)
* "but believed he handled everything" - you can't know what Nibela felt, you can only know what he said he felt; also "but" should be reworded to "and" to avoid editorializing. 18:12, 26 September 2019 (UTC)
 * "In the spring of 2008 the storyline saw" - do not use seasons per MOS:SEASON
 * "Each time Abismo Negro won, but each time AAA head booker Joaquín Roldan announced that the decision was overturned and that Negro, despite winning, did not lead Los Vipers." - this would be an improvement and more neutral Each time Abismo Negro won,, AAA head booker Joaquín Rolda announced that the decision and Negro, the winner, did not lead Los Vipers.
 * "After the second match the rest of Los Vipers turned on Abismo Negro and kicked him out of the group." - try to avoid using the term "kicked him group" because it is unencyclopedic; how about ejected him?
 * "A few days before the event the matchw as cancelled with " - better: A few days before the match, it was cancelled due to CMLL stating Abismo Negro had sustained a neck injury.
 * "Mr. Niebla later states that he left AAA because the big mask vs. mask match he was promised fell through the Abismo Negro" - this is a more gramatically correct sentence: Mr. Niebla subsequently stated he left AAA because a major mask vs. mask match he was promised fell through when Abismo Negro
 * "He also apologized to AAA if they were upset with the way he" - little better and formal: if they were unhappy with the method
 * It is referring to what he said, everything starts with " Mr. Niebla subsequently stated" it is all based on his comments, not "editoralizing" at all. MPJ-DK (talk) 20:55, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
 * Struck. MWright96 (talk) 06:54, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Return to CMLL (2008-present)

 * "turning Rudo to work with La Pestra, the turn led to Princesa Blanca winning the Mexican National Women's Championship from Marcela" - This led to Princes Blanca winning the Mexican National Women's Championship from Marcela
 * "La Pesta Negra's biggest triumf to date is Negro Casas' title win over Místico that brought the CMLL World Welterweight Championship into the group." - more grammatically correct and concise sentence La Pesta Negra's biggest triumph to date is Negro Casas' win over Místico, earning the group the [[CMLL World Welterweight Championship.|undefined
 * "In March 2010 Mr. Niebla suffered a knee injury that kept him out of the ring for over three months." - This statement is not mentioned in the Súper Luchas reference "Mr. Niebla el "apestoso mayor" regresa a los rings" and will need a reliable source that specifically mentions Niebla's knee injury in March 2010.
 * "In early June, 2010 CMLL announced that after recuperating in Europe" - don't use a comma after the month
 * "and his former tag team partner Shocker rose to the surface again" - try to avoid using idioms such as the text highlighted in bold; it should be worded to something more encyclopedic
 * "as they defeated the teams of Marco Corleone and Kraneo and the team of Máscara Dorada and Mephisto to qualify for the semi-finals." - the text in bold should be worded to be more concise and avoid the repition of the word "team": the teams of Marco Corleone and Kraneo and Máscara Dorada and Mephisto
 * "Following the loss Mr. Niebla and Shocker argued and almost came to blows" - Avoid "came to blows" because it not encyclopedic language
 * "Niebla had disappeared on the third night and was the following morning found passed out in his hotel room," - this is better grammatically night, and was found passed out in his hotel room the following morning,
 * "made CMLL pay for the hospital bill, leading to CMLL firing Niebla upon their return to Mexico." - This works better: leading the promotion to fire Nibela after his return to Mexico.
 * "Mr. Niebla was teamed up with rookie Warrior Steel for the 2016 Gran Alternativa tournament," - paired for variety
 * "but lost in the first round" - change the text in bold to losing in the first round
 * "In the spring of 2016 Mr. Niebla was" - avoid using seasons per MOS:SEASON
 * "but lost to Mephisto and Místico in the semi-finals" - an improvement: before they lost
 * "When the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship was vacated during the summer of 2017" - same issue as above
 * "as he entered a torneo cibernetico elimination match, but was eliminated by eventual winner Marco Corleone." - here's an alternative sentence structure that is more neutral elimination match. He was eliminated by eventual winner Marco Corleone.
 * "but lost to Rush and El Terrible in the second round." - better: and were defeated by

Personal life

 * "In the same interview he claimed that he was not a "drunken fighter" despite his problems with alcoholism." This is better and more neutral - he said he was not a "drunken fighter" notwithstanding his alcoholism.
 * "Despite Mr. Niebla's clams," - More neutral: Notwithstanding Mr. Niebla's claims,
 * "pulled Mr. Niebla's mask off" - better: removed Mr. Niebla's mask
 * "Mr. Niebla later stated that he was injured and that the quick end" - Better: Mr. Niebla subsequently stated he was injured and the swift conclusion
 * "was to protect everyone in the ring for further problems." - more grammatically correct: shield those in the ring from further problems.
 * "followed by the Mexico CIty" - typo: The I in "CIty should not be captalized
 * "Prior to his CMLL return in 2019 he was told" - told by whom?

Championships and accomplishments

 * The fourth and seventh bullet points in the sub-section called Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre need to be referenced to a reliable source
 * The sole bullet point in the Unternational Wrestling Revolution Group sub-section also requires a reliable source attached to it

Luchas de Apuestas record

 * The first three row need to have a reliable source to further verify Mr. Niebla's record