Talk:Murder of Bianca Devins/GA3

GA Review
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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi I think I've adequately resolved your qualms but if there's any more feel free to say. It's all for the the greater good. DMT biscuit (talk) 07:52, 25 May 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * "Although police reports say the murder was premeditated" - why does this sentence abruptly stop?
 * Good question, it was recent edit that slipped by, my bad. Fixed by implementing it into the last sentence.


 * "attention by news" - doesn't sound right. maybe reword to "attention from the news"

Background

 * "called him as obsessive" "called him obsessive"
 * Pokémon should be in italics.
 * Link Albany, New York.
 * "she ran away to" - 'away' and 'to' are opposites. maybe "away with"?
 * 4chan. 4chan.

Murder

 * Serial comma after "Devins, Clark".
 * Is the comma after "her and Alex" necessary?
 * Remove the comma after "dead-end road".
 * Add a comma after "one from Clark".
 * police arrived. police arrived.
 * family. family.
 * The third paragraph should mention that Clark survived his suicide attempt.

Reaction

 * The #pinkcloudsforbianca image/caption should also be explained in prose.
 * A mobile user would see the image before the text, so explain what "the images" were.
 * If you're linking YouTube, also link Twitter and Reddit.
 * Add a serial comma after "YouTube, Twitter".
 * Also after "cropped, realigned".
 * Remove the comma after "in the trial".

Aftermath

 * Serial comma after "kill someone".
 * "share results" "share the results"
 * Remove the comma after Marianne Buttenschon.
 * "which would" "that would"