Talk:My Trigger/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 04:55, 16 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Grabbing for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 04:55, 16 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Lead and infobox
 * I am not a fan of references in the lead, unless you are citing controversial/disputed information. I would remove the single reference in the lead as this information should already be located and cited in the body of the article.
 * Please add ALT text for the image.
 * The infobox image appears to be the cover for the remixes. I would add a caption to clarify this?
 * For this sentence (Written and produced by the band, the song contains elements from J Dilla's "The Diff'rence" (2006), which samples "Fruitman" (1974) by Kool & the Gang, thus the writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.). I would cut the (thus the writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.) part into its own sentence (i.e. The writers of both compositions obtained writing credit.).
 * I would paraphrase the "deeper meaning” quote.


 * Background
 * Everything looks good here.


 * Composition and lyrics
 * musicOMH should be in italics.


 * Release and reception
 * I am confused by the structure of the final two paragraphs (i.e. the critical reception parts). It seems like a rather random assortment of critics and quotes. I would try to give these paragraphs more of a shape. Please reference this resource (Copyediting reception sections) to see what I mean about this.


 * Music video
 * Do you think it would better to separate the critical reception portions in the second paragraph into its own paragraph?


 * Final comments
 * I could not find much to improve here. I will pass this once my comments are addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 02:49, 17 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Done, let me know what you think. As for the cover caption. The only cover used for this single has the word Remixes on it, so I feel it would be redundant to include a caption saying that it is the cover for the Remixes when no other cover exists. Pancake (talk) 20:35, 18 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Btw, do you think I ought to clarify in the lead that the video has actors portraying Kennedy and Khrushchev, (i.e. "... where actors portraying John F. Kennedy and Nikita Khrushchev ...")? Pancake (talk) 20:46, 18 March 2018 (UTC)
 * You could add the actor's names in parenthesis after the people's name if you would like to emphasize that they were portrayed by actors.


 * Verdict
 * Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✅ this. Aoba47 (talk) 00:10, 19 March 2018 (UTC)