Talk:NDA (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:16, 19 November 2021 (UTC)

I will review this today --K. Peake 09:16, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
 * I will adapt your suggestions tomorrow. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 16:15, 20 November 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Should pop be listed as a genre when you have multiple subgenres of it following?
 * Pipe dark-pop to Darkness in music
 * "Billie Eilish, from her" → "Billie Eilish for her"
 * The release info should be directly after writing/production
 * "Musically, it is a" → "It is a"
 * "track which contains" → "track, which contains" plus mention the elements first then add a comma and write "accompanied by..."
 * Pipe techno-pop to Synth-pop
 * "Lyrically, it speaks about Eilish's battle" → "Lyrically, "NDA" speaks about Eilish's battles" moving this and the following sentence to being at the start of the second para instead
 * "the track transitions into "Therefore I Am", which follows "NDA" in the album's track listing." → "the song transitions into the following album track, "Therefore I Am"." with the pipe
 * "It was received positively by the" → "The song received mostly positive reviews from"
 * Pipe music critics to Music journalism
 * "with many calling the track" → "who often called it"
 * "some reviews an issue has been taken" → "some reviews, issues were taken"
 * "or its placement within the album." → "or placement within Happier Than Ever."
 * "the single was a" → "the song was a"
 * "It was promoted by the" → ""NDA" was promoted by a"
 * Mention what critics analyzed and after that, add a sentence for the video's critical reception
 * "on gigs like" → "in 2021 for gigs like"
 * Wikilink concert film and add a comma after the title
 * "and 2021 Life Is Beautiful Music & Art Festival." → "and Life Is Beautiful Music & Art Festival."
 * Applied to all of the suggestions you made. With an exception of changing the build of the lead. Is it really necessary to change the way its built? Because I prefer when it starts with an information who wrote it, then its composition, and next para being about release and reception, with the last being about promotion. Maybe it is this way, since I did not read any style guides... Saying it for the sake of honesty. And regarding pop, I used to think about it too, however I saw other articles which also had pop and its subgenre both listed as genres (i.e. "Everything I Wanted"), that's why I decided to keep it. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Background and release

 * Pipe Hawaiian island to Hawaiian islands and since the img is here, shouldn't the mention of her trip be too? Either way, keep the lyric down there.
 * "second studio album Happier Than Ever." → "second album Happier Than Ever for release on July 30."
 * "Preceding "NDA"'s release," → "Preceding the release of "NDA","
 * Where is significant media coverage sourced?
 * "the music video for the" → "the music video for her" with the wikilink and mention the song's name after "previous single"
 * "Additionally one of the" → "Additionally, one of the"
 * Pipe blaccent to African-American English
 * Add commas on both sides of "alongside a music video" to make it clear that this was part of the announcement
 * "reveiled the cover of" → "revealed the cover art for"
 * "The day before the song's release, artist" → "Two days before the song's release, Eilish"
 * "of song's intro on" → "of the song on"
 * "the fifth single of" → "the fifth single from" but you need a source for download since only streaming is backed up
 * "Eleven days later," → "On July 20, 2021,"
 * "and alternative radios." → "and alternative radio stations."
 * "With the release of "NDA"'s parent album," → "Along with the release of the album,"
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Development and recording

 * "by Billie Eilish, and her brother," → "by Eilish and her brother"
 * "who also serves" → "who also served"
 * Pipe chorus to Refrain
 * "wanted to use it," → "wanted to use the sound,"
 * "In her concert film," → "In Eilish's concert film" with the wikilink
 * "the place" and it is open" → "the place", and is open"
 * Remove speech marks for different because it is one word and this is not directly attributed as an Eilish quote
 * "in the interview with" → "in an interview with"
 * Neat addition with the quote!
 * All done, besides the last one, since I don't understand what I really have to do. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Music and lyrics

 * "Eilish's aggressive vocals," → "Eilish's screamy vocals," on the audio sample text, per the prose and pipe chorus to Refrain here
 * Pipe minimal to Minimal music
 * Again, should pop be a genre when you have multiple sub-genres of it listed? Also, [33] does not mention the genre so why's it there?
 * Pipe dark-pop to Darkness in music
 * Pipe range to Vocal range
 * Pipe distorted to Distortion (music)
 * Pipe sample to Sampling (music)
 * "It later features" → "The song later features"
 * "an electro auto tune," → "usage of electro Auto Tune," but this part and the sparse production are unsourced
 * ""intensive" and "aggressive" during song's" → ""intense" and "aggressive" during the song's"
 * "with heavy auto-tune put over her" → "through heavily auto-tuned"
 * The Ringer should not be italicised
 * "into album's next track –" → "into the album's next track"
 * "by reminding the stalking incidents from the previous year in lines" → "by offering a reminder of the stalking incident from 2020:"
 * "like to meet"." → "like to meet."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
 * "to have a" → "of having a"
 * The second verse is not mentioned by the sources, even though the lyrical content is backed up
 * Keep the Kauai thoughts here but maybe only maintain the visit once its been moved with "after her 2020 visit"
 * ""I Didn't Change My Number" and" → ""I Didn't Change My Number", and"
 * "features Eilish singing" → "features Eilish singing,"
 * "which for the singer has" → "which the singer thinks has"
 * ""half-rapping,[56]" → "half-rapping,[56]" per speech marks not being necessary for this terminology
 * ""whispery",[57] and" → ""whisper[y]",[57] and" per paraphrasing of the source
 * "were engineered to sound "intense";" → ""are engineered to sound intense";"
 * DYI → DIY
 * "lyrics has been" → "lyrics have been"
 * ""barbed [and] sly"." → ""barbed", and "sly"." for correct grammar
 * ""vulnerable and unsettling."" → ""vulnerable and unsettling"."
 * Pinkvilla should not be italicised
 * "writer suggested that" → "a writer suggested that"
 * "might also talk about trust;" → "seemingly also talks about trust,"
 * Italicise The Sydney Morning Herald
 * "scrutiny" and called" → "scrutiny", and called"
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "with "NDA".[34] Roberts" → "with "NDA",[34] similarly to how Roberts" to avoid too short sentences
 * Pipe wall-of-sound to Wall of Sound
 * "It was praised by editors" → "The song was praised by respective editors"
 * "singles," because of its" → "singles" because of the"
 * "one of her most favorite" → "one of her favorite"
 * "featurest one of the" → "features one of the"
 * "boastful melody" and" → "boastful melody", and"
 * "on The Ringer," → "at The Ringer,"
 * "This website's Rob Harvilla, said" → "The website's Rob Harvilla said"
 * "of MTV;[43] while in DIY article it got also described" → "of MTV;[43] while in a DIY article, the song was described"
 * Remove commas around Lindsay Weinberg
 * "from Vulture.com called it" → "from Vulture called it a"
 * "while Alex McLevy from" → "whereas Alex McLevy from" to be less repetitive
 * Italicise Entertainment Weekly
 * "while its tune was called" → "alongside it being called" since the song is referred to as a tune; don't take things so literally
 * "said that the song's second verse" → "said that certain lyrics"
 * "said that it's" → "said that it is"
 * "while calling the subject matter" → "as well as labeling the subject matter"
 * "sounding to her" → "sounding to Eilish's" and mention the album's title as well as adding the release year
 * "Evening Standards Emily Phillips opinied that it" → "the Evening Standards Emily Phillips opined it"
 * Shouldn't the img be in the second para of music and lyrics instead since it focuses on the lyrical meaning? Also, pipe Insider to Insider (website) per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "full, uneasy bloom."" → "full, uneasy bloom"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * Remove wikilink on electro-pop
 * Pipe goth-pop to Goth rock
 * Mention the previous single by name since it has not been referenced yet in this section
 * "but noted that" → "but noted how"
 * "They praised the song saying" → "He praised the song, saying"
 * "the song goes on."" → "the song goes on"."
 * "called "NDA"'s title line as" → "called the song's title line"
 * "Writing for musicOMH, John Murphy" → "For musicOMH, John Murphy"
 * "like future classics."" → "like future classics"."
 * "that "NDA" with "Therefore I Am" are "tracks tained" → "that "NDA" is "tained" since this quote works without both tracks
 * "Stereogum written that the song" → "Stereogum wrote that the song" with the wikilink
 * "and that is" → "and that it is"
 * "Writing for The New York Times, Lindsay Zoladz" → "For The New York Times, Lindsay Zoladz"
 * Pipe Universal Music Poland to Universal Music Polska
 * "as "darker side of" → "as "a darker side of"
 * "Ellen Peirson-Hagger of New Statesman" → "Ellen Peirson-Hagger of the New Statesman"
 * "and vocals delivery" →"and vocal delivery"
 * "Hannah Dailey from Billboard placed "NDA" at the 13th song on" →"Dailey placed "NDA" at number 13 in"
 * "Chris Willman from Variety said that because of that the song" → "Similarly, William said that because the song"
 * "The A.V. Club's Alex McLevy criticized the fact" → "McLevy criticized the fact"
 * "Oppositely, Lindsay Zoladz of The New York Times called this song," → "Oppositely, Zoladz called the song,"
 * Pipe Insider to Insider (website)
 * "real emotional pull."" → "real emotional pull"."
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 01:29, 22 November 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * "by some Eilish's fans, calling" → "by some of Eilish's fans, calling"
 * "becoming Eilish's twelfth top 40" → "becoming Eilish's 12th top 40" per MOS:NUM
 * "number 75 following week," → "number 75 the following week,"
 * "on Hot 100, logging at number 77." → "on the Hot 100, logging position 77."
 * "in other US charts, it peaked at number" → "on other US charts, the song peaked at numbers"
 * [96] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [97], plus add a comma before respectively
 * "ending July 22," → "ending July 22, 2021,"
 * "within top 20 in" → "within the top 20 of"
 * "at number 18 in" → "at number 18 on the"
 * [99] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [100][101]
 * "In the UK Singles Chart," → "On the UK Singles Chart,"
 * Lithuania should be after UK per geographical order, plus you need to mention the other countries it reached the top 40 in per this ranking being mentioned as frequent in the lead
 * "at number 16, and felt off" → "at number 16 on the ARIA Singles Chart, before falling off" with the pipe
 * "re-entered ARIA Charts at" → "re-entered the ARIA Singles Chart at"
 * "the only country, where the single" → "the only country where the single" plus add a comma after top 10 mentioning the exact position
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 22:48, 24 November 2021 (UTC)

Background and synopsis

 * "fell on her knees during the song's second chorus. She" → "falls on her knees during the song's second chorus; she" on the img text
 * No source mentions the video being released to YouTube nor the Eastern Time
 * The Line of Best Fit links to Billie's Instagram post, which mentions the hour of the video release. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "this was not the original concept for the music video, and that the original was" → "the original concept for the music video was"
 * "after the shoot," → "after she fell,"
 * "to her falling on her knees during the shooting." → "to the fall." plus mention her mother by name
 * "walking alone at night on a dimly lit desert road wearing" → "walking on a dimly lit road, wearing" per the sources
 * "While "NDA"'s verses" → "While the song's verses"
 * "shadow figures appears" → "group of shadow figures follow"
 * The triple images sentence is not sourced
 * "throughout the track's verses." → "throughout the verses."
 * The two choruses, outro and fall to her knees are unsourced
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)

Analysis and reception

 * "says that them" → "said that the cars cause chaos to"
 * "Megan Stone from Good Morning America proposed that it may be symbolizing singer's" → "Stone proposed that the cars may be symbolizing the singer's"
 * "the representation of "love"." → "the representation of "trust and love"."
 * "Los Angeles Times called it" → "the Los Angeles Times labeled it"
 * Remove or replace Forbes review per WP:FORBES
 * "while Yohann Ruelle from Pure Charts called it" → "Ruelle called the video" and connect this with the following sentence, but use something other than "while" to be less repetitive
 * "says that since the video" → "said that since the video"
 * "set pieces" and that Eilish" → "set pieces", Eilish"
 * "for "decidedly dark track" as" → "for a "decidedly dark track" like"
 * ""dark and spectacular"." → ""dark[,] and spectacular"."
 * "called it "fast" → "called the video a "fast"
 * iHeartRadio Canada should not be italicised
 * "said that this video" → "said the video"
 * "Bardají dubbed it as" → "Bardají dubbed the video as"
 * "submerged almost 12 million views" → "reached almost 12 million views" and mention if these are YouTube if the source(s) do
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)

Live performances

 * "On July 16," → "On July 16, 2021,"
 * "to Eilish's official YouTube channel." → "to Eilish's YouTube channel."
 * "features her brother, Finneas, playing" → "features playing"
 * "On August 5, Eilish" → "On August 5, 2021, Eilish"
 * "and cover of" → "and a cover of" plus add the release year in brackets
 * "performed "NDA" on" → "performed "NDA" at"
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Pipe vocals to Singing
 * ✅ Done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Charts

 * Good

Release history

 * Format → Format(s)
 * Label → Label(s)
 * Tidal does not back up download and streaming for various regions
 * ✅ All done. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict
until all of the issues are fixed; took just over a day! --K. Peake 20:24, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
 * I will eventually apply the rest of your suggestions. This will probably take like few days to accomplish - or maybe less, depending on how much time I will have. I am also planning to adding few new source to the article - I mean, I was collecting them for some time, but simply didn't find to add them earlier. Those sources include: Chorus.fm, Melty.fr, Nicki Swift, Tone Deaf, and Teen Vogue. I chose to tell you about it for the sake of clarity, and maybe to stop me from using not good source, even though I checked out all of those in WP:RSP. My methology on searching for the sources for articles is not only using Google search, but I also look on other song articles to find websites which are used as a ref there and see if they have some info about the song I'm writing about. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 19:36, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
 * I applaud your heavy amount of research and you do have a good method for finding sources to use, but Nicki Swift has not been assessed at WP:RSP yet see discussion to understand why this gossip website is unreliable. --K. Peake 08:04, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for notyfing me that Nicki Swift is not a reliable source! Anyway, I changed the music video section to match your suggestions, besides the noted one. I will try to give new reliable sources and change the text of commercial performance section today or tomorrow, same with most of references work. However, I'm not sure how much time it will take to rephrase some of the article parts, so the copyvio wouldn't be that high. inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 16:21, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
 * It is fine since I do have plenty of time, but if you are struggling with paraphrasing then maybe remove some parts that aren't 100% contextual for the article. --K. Peake 09:07, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay, so I applied to your suggestions about the "Commercial performance" section and done some ref-related work. I hope I'd be able to accomplish the rest of the remaining work til the end of the week. And regarding your proposal, firstly I'd try to do it myself, but if I won't have an idea what to do I'll hit you up, ok? inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 22:48, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
 * Yes that is ok; my response time will speed up if you mention me though. --K. Peake 07:19, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
 * Ok, I guess I've done everything I could. I lowered down Copyvio of CapitalFM and fixed remaining issues. Do I have to anything else? Maybe I missed something? inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 22:57, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
 * You still need to fix the Rolling Stone refs in accordance with what I suggested, also Rob Sheffield's surname should be cited first for ref 77. --K. Peake 07:27, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
 * So, I removed links from those refs and changed  into  . I also changed value next to   to   only for those links that asked me for login to read the article.  inf sai  ( talkie?  UwU) 22:54, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, definitely looks better! --K. Peake 07:54, 1 December 2021 (UTC)