Talk:Nagato-class battleship/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 22:08, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

Progression

 * Version of the article when originally reviewed:
 * Version of the article when review was closed:

Technical review

 * Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
 * Disambiguations: no dab links (no action req'd)
 * Linkrot: external links check out (no action req'd).
 * Alt text: Images all lack alt text so you might consider adding it (not a GA req'ment - suggestion only).
 * Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing (no action req'd).
 * Duplicate links: one duplicate link:
 * bridge
 * Removed.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 04:48, 4 October 2013 (UTC)

Criteria

 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Doesn't sound quite right to me: "The IJN conducted an perfunctory investigation...", should this be: "The IJN conducted a perfunctory investigation..."
 * Indeed.
 * In the lead: "In mid-1946, the ship was a target for nuclear weapon tests during Operation Crossroads." Just wonder if a little context is needed here? Consider for instance: "After the war, the ship was a target for US nuclear weapon tests during Operation Crossroads in mid-1946."
 * OK.
 * "The IJN had considered a battle fleet of eight modern...", abbrev IJN needs to be introduced here.
 * Introduced in the lede.
 * Wording seems a little off here: "Although the United States Navy planned to arm its Colorado classs with 16-inch (406 mm) guns before the Nagato class was designed, Nagato's 41-centimeter (16.1 in) guns made her the first dreadnought to be armed with guns larger than 15 inches (381 mm) to be launched." Perhaps consider instead: "Although the United States Navy planned to arm its Colorado classs with 16-inch (406 mm) guns before the Nagato class was designed, Nagato's 41-centimeter (16.1 in) guns made her the first dreadnought launched to be armed with guns larger than 15 inches (381 mm)." (suggestion only)
 * I like it.
 * Seems a little informal here: "... to stop any fragments from penetrating the innermost bulkhead protecting the ship's vitals...", consider "vital areas" instead. (suggestion only)
 * It's a pretty common phrasing in ship books, but vital areas is probably clearer.
 * Tense: "An additional boom was added to the mainmasts of both ships in 1926 to handle the Yokosuka E1Y now assigned to them." Consider instead: "An additional boom was added to the mainmasts of both ships in 1926 to handle the Yokosuka E1Y then assigned to them."
 * Yes.
 * Wording seems a little awkward here: "...naval arms race between the United States, the United Kingdom and the Empire of Japan that was beginning to get underway." Consider instead something like: "...naval arms race between the United States, the United Kingdom and the Empire of Japan that was developing..." (suggestion only)
 * Much better phrasing.
 * "Mutsu was specifically listed among those to be scrapped...", scrapped should be wikilinked at first use (you use "scrap" in the preceding sentence).
 * Good catch.
 * Repetitive language here: "Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto issued the signal "Niitaka yama nobore" (Climb Mount Niitaka) on 2 December 1941 from Nagato at anchor at Hashirajima to signal..." (signal twice), suggest: "Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto issued the command "Niitaka yama nobore" (Climb Mount Niitaka) on 2 December 1941 from Nagato at anchor at Hashirajima to signal..."
 * I think code phrase is better still.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 04:46, 4 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Missing word here I think: "She only lightly engaged during the battle and was not damaged nor suffered any casualties...", consider: "She was only lightly engaged during the battle and was not damaged nor suffered any casualties..."
 * Sigh.
 * In the body (similar issue to the lead): "Nagato was selected to participate as a target ship in Operation Crossroads, a series of nuclear weapon tests held at Bikini Atoll in mid-1946." Think it would be a good idea to clarify that the were "a series of US nuclear weapon" tests" for context.
 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * All major points cited using WP:RS.
 * No issues with OR.
 * Minor issue with inline cite here: no. 34 "Hackett, Kingsepp, & Ahlberg", which entry in the ref list does this refer to? I'm assuming the one for Nagato? Can this be clarified?
 * Both actually.


 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
 * Level of coverage seems appropriate.


 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * No issues here.


 * It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * No issues here.


 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):  d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
 * File:Mutsu20.jpg lacks a source - are you able to add one?
 * File:Nagato 1939.jpg also lacks a source and some other information in the template. Can this be completed?
 * Japanese language source for File:Japanese Battleship Nagato 1944.jpg accepted in good faith.
 * Otherwise rest of images appear to be PD or licensed and seem appropriate to the article.
 * Not much I could do here as the sources are generally unknown, but I did clarify a couple of licenses.


 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * A high qlty article as usual. Just a few prose points and some sources for images req'd. Happy to discuss any points you disagree with of course. Anotherclown (talk) 09:59, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the delay, I thought that I'd bookmarked the review page. Thanks for your patience.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 04:46, 4 October 2013 (UTC)
 * Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 11:47, 4 October 2013 (UTC)