Talk:Nancy Schreiber

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ewenstruemental. Peer reviewers: CumulonimbusCat.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:23, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Peer Editing
Hi! The article is a really great first draft, with only a few formatting errors. I copy edited the article (if you want to see details they're in the page's history), but feel free to undo any of my changes if the original content was more correct. I have a few suggestions in regards to phrasing of a few sentences. You might want to change the phrasing of “he sparked Schreiber’s interest in film as he was into photography” to something like “as he had an interest in photography” or “as photography was one of his hobbies”. The sentence, "In 1995, she became an official member of the American Society of Cinematographers and was the fourth women to join it." might flow more easily if it was changed to something like, “In 1995, she became an official member of the American Society of Cinematographers, being the fourth woman to do so” or “In 1995, she was the fourth woman to become an official member of the American Society of Cinematographers.” Otherwise I think it sounds great and is quite informative. Hope my suggestions can be of some help to you. CumulonimbusCat (talk) 19:54, 9 October 2015 (UTC)