Talk:Nathan Walker/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Secret (talk · contribs) 20:08, 24 February 2013 (UTC)

Reviewing this. Secret account 20:08, 24 February 2013 (UTC)

Short article that is decently written. I have a few minor concerns.


 * "Along with HC Vítkovice, Walker as loaned to several lower-level Czech teams." I presume "was loaned", played also sounds good in this context.
 * Fixed. Also linked loan, just to ensure there is no confusion.


 * "Walker progressed through the levels of Australian hockey" I don't know anything about Australia Hockey, some detail would be nice here.
 * Changed the wording around, it should be clearer now.


 * Why he only played 14 U14 games considering second place played in 24 of them. Was he injured, school, playing more advanced levels?
 * It mentions in the previous sentence that he played in two different leagues that year, the U14 and U16; I'd assume that he missed games because he was in the other league.


 * Was Manco related to HC Vítkovice in anyway?
 * Noted


 * Be careful with overlinking.
 * I think I got rid of most of them.


 * Why the loan to the lower division teams? Experience?
 * Yeah, its mentioned in the sentence before for the one listed.


 * "be noticed by the National Hockey League (NHL), the premier league in the world". Remove the premier league in the world as sports slangy, NPOV and irrelevant.
 * Done


 * "he replaced his teammate, who was ill." Does Austin Cangelosi meet GNG? if he does just mention the name, instead of "his teammate"
 * Done


 * tournament earned promotion... bit confused on the meaning.
 * Fixed the wording


 * It should be discussed somewhere why he decided he wanted to make a living playing hockey? Who introduced him to the sport?
 * See personal life section. It mentions that.

Everything else looks fine, maybe personal life needs some expansion see my last statement above looking at a few of the sources, spotchecks was ok. Secret account 21:00, 24 February 2013 (UTC)
 * I've addressed everything here. Regarding expanding the personal life section, thats about all thats been written about him so far. But based on previous experience, if he is selected in the upcoming NHL draft, there is likely to be a lot more published, which would then obviously be incorporated here. Any comments or concerns let me know. Thanks. Kaiser matias (talk) 01:53, 27 February 2013 (UTC)

Seems good enough Secret account 05:59, 15 March 2013 (UTC)