Talk:National Action Plan to Combat Human Trafficking

Comments
I'm reading through the article and will leave any questions I have here. -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:33, 13 April 2014 (UTC)
 * The second paragraph of the lead says the NAP-CHT was established on schedule, and later says "The NAP-CHT came into force on June 28, 2012." Are these the same thing, or is "coming into force" a separate event?
 * I'm finding the second paragraph of the background section confusing. The chronological sequence seems to be that C-153 passed in February, and the quotes from canadianchristianity.com are dated May, but the order of sentences in the article reverses the chronological order, and makes it seem that C-153 was a consequence of the plans, whereas in fact if I understand the article correctly it was the driving force to develop the plans.  In addition, the comment attributed to Coggins that 'such a plan would "make Canada a leader in combatting human trafficking worldwide doesn't seem quite right -- he's the journalist reporting that statement, not asserting it.
 * "Smith began developing a proposal in 2008 and continued for several years": the source doesn't say 2008; it says "for the last three years", from a vantage point of September 2010. That could just as well be 2007 as 2008 -- I think it would be better to not give a year.
 * "After her Bill C-268 successfully passed into law as An Act to amend the Criminal Code (minimum sentence for offences involving trafficking of persons under the age of eighteen years) that September": there's no referent for "that September", but the source makes it clear it's 2009. However, I also noticed that the article on the Act itself says it was passed in June 2009, so it might be worth checking which is correct.
 * I think the first para of that section might be profitably merged with the second. How about something like this:
 * In 2009, Smith succeeding in passing bill C-268, which established a mandatory minimum sentence for crimes involving human trafficking. The following year, she released "Connecting the Dots", a document she had been working on for three years.  "Connecting the Dots" was a proposal "to rescue and restore the victims and prosecute the offenders" of human trafficking; Smith intended it to address both trafficking within Canada and international trafficking into the country. Smith announced ..."
 * 'Benjamin Perrin[15] helped Smith develop "Connecting the Dots: I don't see this stated in the given source (here); as far as I can see he is simply calling for the same things Smith calls for, and may not have been involved with the development of "Connecting the Dots" at all.


 * Thank you very much for your comments and interest in this article! I have combined the two sentences about establishment and "coming into force" to demonstrate that these two phrases indicate the same event, restructured the second paragraph of the "Background" section to clarify the chronology, attributed the argument about making Canada a world leader to the early promoters rather than to the journalist, and removed the assertion that Smith started developing the proposal in 2008. I have also combined and reworked the paragraphs at the beginning of the "Development" section, with some variation on your proposed reworking; please let me know if you see a need to rework this section further. An Act to amend the Criminal Code (minimum sentence for offences involving trafficking of persons under the age of eighteen years) was passed after the third reading of Bill C-268 on September 30, 2009 (as indicated both in this article and in the infobox on the article about the Act), but was only enacted on June 29, 2010; let me know if there is some way that I can make this clearer in the article. The Filipino Journal source includes a quotation by Steve Sullivan which states, "I want to commend Joy Smith and Ben Perrin for their leadership in developing a national strategy..." Do you feel that I am misinterpreting this quotation? Thank you again for your recommendations with respect to this article! Neelix (talk) 21:41, 14 April 2014 (UTC)
 * All struck except one -- can we be sure that Perrin helped with the document, just because he helped with the national strategy? Other than that the fixes all look good.  I should get more time on this later tonight and will switch to the GA review for further comments.  Interesting article, by the way; I'm enjoying reading it! Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 22:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. I have removed the indications in the article that Perrin helped write "Connecting the Dots". I'm glad you're finding the article interesting! Neelix (talk) 14:39, 15 April 2014 (UTC)

External links modified (February 2018)
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I have just modified 10 external links on National Action Plan to Combat Human Trafficking. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140110223151/http://canada.usembassy.gov/key-reports/trafficking-in-persons-report/2012-trafficking-in-persons-report-canada-chapter.html to http://canada.usembassy.gov/key-reports/trafficking-in-persons-report/2012-trafficking-in-persons-report-canada-chapter.html
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131207193953/http://www.publicaffairs.ubc.ca/media/releases/2008/mr-08-143.html to http://www.publicaffairs.ubc.ca/media/releases/2008/mr-08-143.html
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20130927152952/http://www.cnbc.ca/uploads/File/National%20Ministries/Horizon/Horizon%202011/Hz-May2011EN-web-.pdf to http://www.cnbc.ca/uploads/File/National%20Ministries/Horizon/Horizon%202011/Hz-May2011EN-web-.pdf
 * Added tag to http://www.joysmith.ca/assets/petition%20nap%20-%20eng%20-%20final%20-%20large%20font.pdf
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131102235914/http://www.ijm.ca/resources/ijm/PDFs/Press_Releases/Press_release___NAP_one_year_anniversary_June_6_2013_FINAL.pdf to http://www.ijm.ca/resources/ijm/PDFs/Press_Releases/Press_release___NAP_one_year_anniversary_June_6_2013_FINAL.pdf
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140412170520/http://beaconnews.ca/blog/2013/06/human-trafficking-canada-at-forefront-of-global-fight/ to http://beaconnews.ca/blog/2013/06/human-trafficking-canada-at-forefront-of-global-fight/
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140910132735/http://chabdai.ca/projects/freedom-registry/ to http://chabdai.ca/projects/freedom-registry/
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20130217122506/http://www.capitalnews.ca/index.php/news/the-high-cost-of-human-trafficking to http://www.capitalnews.ca/index.php/news/the-high-cost-of-human-trafficking
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131029213100/http://blogs.ottawa.usembassy.gov/ambassador/index.php/2012/07/09/july-9-2012-the-209th-anniversary-of-canadas-abolition-of-slavery/ to http://blogs.ottawa.usembassy.gov/ambassador/index.php/2012/07/09/july-9-2012-the-209th-anniversary-of-canadas-abolition-of-slavery/
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131022132406/http://www.unicef.ca/en/get-involved/traffic-is-for-cars-not-children to http://www.unicef.ca/en/get-involved/traffic-is-for-cars-not-children
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131022054200/http://rightsofchildren.ca/wp-content/uploads/CCRC-Response-to-List-of-Issues-on-OPSC.pdf to http://rightsofchildren.ca/wp-content/uploads/CCRC-Response-to-List-of-Issues-on-OPSC.pdf

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Cheers.— InternetArchiveBot  (Report bug) 08:19, 13 February 2018 (UTC)