Talk:Negev Bedouin women

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The tenses used in this article are sometimes confusing. You discuss both how things are traditionally and how they are changing, so be clear to use tenses and word things in a way which it is clear whether you're saying that characteristic/practice etc. is something that is traditional and no longer in practice, traditional and still in practice, or traditional and shifting out of practice. I started to correct some of these, but stopped, because I wanted, you Noga, to be sure that the wording is, in fact, correct for what you're trying to say. Swaugaman (talk) 18:25, 21 April 2014 (UTC)

I also fixed the references, meaning I named them so you can refer to ones you've already created a citation for, so they do not show up multiple times under references. Additionally, it would be nice if you could write a bit more specifically about the women in the intro, because it seems to be an introduction just on the Bedouin instead of the Bedouin women. Swaugaman (talk) 18:39, 21 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the feedback! I've worked through the article and tried to clarify the issue with the tenses.NogaArdon (talk) 04:59, 29 April 2014 (UTC)

Feedback
This is a well-structured, well-written article. I agree that the lead section needs to be focused on women (there is already an article on the Negev Bedouin). Some of the information in the lead paragraph can be useful in the main body of the article. Also, except in the lead paragraph, there are no links to other Wikipedia articles. You should be able to add several of them. The lead paragraph has a single reference to the last sentence, whereas a statement such as "half the Bedouin living in unrecognized towns" require references. I am concerned that several sections are based on only one or two sources. I hope you can locate a few more key articles to build the article.BerikG (talk) 05:53, 25 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Also, there is no/sparse discussion on jobs women do; health outcomes. I had some questions and suggestions for clarification on the Access to healthcare section in the first draft of the article (you may want to check those). BerikG (talk) 05:59, 25 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for this feedback! I've gone through the article and added links to other pages. You are right that some sections rely solely on a few sources- in those sections, I was not able to find any additional authors who wrote on that particular topic. I had the same issue with Negev Bedouin women's employment and health outcomes- I simply could not find any reliable sources on the topic. NogaArdon (talk) 04:59, 29 April 2014 (UTC)

More feedback
It's looking very promising. I'll have a better probe around in the next few days and see if I can assist with a little copyediting and other tweaks (including de-orphaning it!). Cheers! --Iryna Harpy (talk) 04:43, 29 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much! I appreciate the help!NogaArdon (talk) 04:59, 29 April 2014 (UTC)