Talk:Nels Johnson/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Guettarda (talk · contribs) 23:27, 25 March 2021 (UTC)

I'll review this. Guettarda (talk) 23:27, 25 March 2021 (UTC)

General
The prose could be a lot tighter. It's wordy to the point of being unclear in places. It would improve the overall quality, and will be especially helpful if you're interesting in continuing to move this towards FAC.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:50, 27 March 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * I feel like the Century tower clocks are probably his main claim to notability, and should probably be mentioned in the first sentence of the lead. I also think that throughout the world feels like a bit of an overstatement, given that there were only two clocks outside the US.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:50, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * The lead could be longer. The lead should cover all the main points of the article, it doesn't currently.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:50, 27 March 2021 (UTC)

Biography

 * His apprenticing as a blacksmith is mentioned in both the "early life" and "mid life" sections. Are these separate apprenticeships (if so, it should be clear) or the same (in which case, it should only be mentioned once).
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:48, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * You say Nels left the Denmark area to "see the world" when he was about fourteen years old, but it sounds like he only went to Copenhagen. Did he mean to leave Denmark but didn't? It isn't clear enough.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:05, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * May 11th - should be May 11, not 11th.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:05, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Sorensen had paid $36 in gold - is this US$ or CAN$?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:05, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * An Odd Fellows Lodge in Milwaukee sent Johnson $100 to help out his family - maybe link Odd Fellows, since this group is fairly obscure.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:05, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * One Manistee man, John Pershbacher, who is knowledgeable about antiques and operates a local museum, said he has seen fifteen - when was this? It seems like a time-bounded observation. Also this should be in the past tense.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * File:Nels built 1892 longcase clock.JPG - the caption says it's in the First Congregational Church, but it doesn't say which one. There's also a link to Flickr in that caption - external links shouldn't be in the body of an article. Can you covert it to a reference link?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:13, 27 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Through determination and persistence he eventually got himself back on track and after a couple of years he was able to save up enough money to build a small house for the family - since his family isn't mentioned yet at this point in the article, I think "his family" would be clearer than "the family".


 * Guettarda (talk) 01:40, 26 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Thanks for review. I'll start working on it.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:38, 26 March 2021 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Looks good. Guettarda (talk) 16:10, 27 March 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: