Talk:Neon Gravestones/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) Kyle Peake (talk) 06:46, 16 November 2019 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Add release date to infobox; album's release date as this was not an independent release
 * "is a song written and recorded by" → "is a song by" as it was obviously recorded by them and the writers are mentioned later in the lead
 * Add release year of Trench in brackets
 * Target hip hop to Hip hop music
 * "the song attracted moderate media attention" → ""Neon Gravestones" attracted moderate media attention" as it is a new para in lead
 * "Nevertheless, it received" → "Nevertheless, the song received" as it is used most recently before this
 * "The track is part of the" → "It is part of the"

Background

 * Img needs alt text
 * "during the songwriting process, in order" → "during the songwriting process; this was in order" as there's too many "," and this works in prose
 * "In an interview" → "In a October 2018 interview" as you state "Joseph later told" in the section so it should be known when the earlier was
 * "Tyler Joseph revealed" → "Joseph revealed" as Tyler Joseph is his real name
 * "in the middle of the album" → "in the middle of Trench" as you state "the album" twice in the sentence so improve prose
 * "the heart of Trench" italicize the album's title
 * "He was also worried" → "Joseph was also worried"
 * "in regard to spiritual or political things" → "in regard to spiritual or political subjects" as this is more encyclopedic
 * "the reasons they made" → "the reasons that they made"
 * "and more of a challenge."[6]" → "and more of a challenge".[6]" for quotes consistency
 * "he said that he feared" → "Joseph said that he feared"
 * ✅ except point 9 where I changed it to "why", since I thought that made more sense.

Composition and lyrics

 * "the song "Neon Gravestone," a" → "the song "Neon Gravestone", a" as you don't place, inside speech marks for songs (this is on audio caption)
 * "The song, described" → ""Neon Gravestones", described" as you haven't mentioned the title for a while
 * "Lyrically, it attacks" → "Lyrically, the song attacks"
 * "Tyler Joseph explained" → "Joseph explained"
 * ""the importance of the topic."[15]" → ""the importance of the topic".[15]"
 * "feels like I have to leave."[6]" → "feels like I have to leave".[6]"
 * "Joseph writes that" are you sure this is correct prose?
 * "and that "we" → "and "we"
 * "have described this ending" → "have described the ending"
 * "as directly linked to the album's penultimate track" → "as directly linked to Trench's penultimate track"
 * "a track which pays homage" → "which pays homage"
 * Release date for Vessel in brackets
 * ✅ (for your seventh point I changed "writes" to "raps", but I'm not quite sure if I'm meant to do anything more here).

Critical reception

 * "by music critics" → "from music critics"
 * "who saw the band as glamorizing" → "who saw them as glamorizing"
 * "says the song" → "said the song"
 * "NME's" → "NME's"
 * "off the album" → "off Trench"
 * WikiLink PopMatters
 * "hailing it as" → "hailing the song as"
 * "a troubling time."[22]" → "a troubling time".[22]"
 * "more critical of the song regarding" → "more critical of "Neon Gravestones" regarding"
 * "remember be cruel?" and that" → "remember be cruel"? He continued, writing that"
 * "those left behind."[7]" → "those left behind".[7]"
 * "was one of the most controversial songs of their career" → "was one of the most controversial of their career"
 * WikiLink Variety
 * "in the months to come."[13]" → "in the months to come".[13]"
 * "does not get glorified'."[17]" → "does not get glorified'".[17]"

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * Good

Final comments and verdict
for now, hope you can respond to all of my comments! --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:54, 18 November 2019 (UTC)
 * , this review came a little quicker than I expected. May I have an extension until next Friday? This weekend starts my university's Thanksgiving break, and I had another commitment that I was hoping to return to today and Thursday.  danny music editor  oops 17:13, 19 November 2019 (UTC)

That's fine, though it is common to leave articles on hold for 7 days, I will extend due to your personal life as this cannot be helped. --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:18, 19 November 2019 (UTC)
 * If you like, I can take over from DannyMusicEditor until Friday while he completes his other review. I've written about 85% of the page and know its contents pretty well. mike•owen  discuss 18:27, 19 November 2019 (UTC)

As the reviewer, I am willing to let you take this on due to the experience and the nominator's schedule. Just respond to the issues and it'll all be good! --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:52, 19 November 2019 (UTC)
 * I'm actually completely ok with that. I nominated this in the first place because I wanted this to have a fair review unlike the last one. You can't fail an article if it's not failing any of the criteria, which is what the reviewer said in the last one.  danny music editor  oops 19:25, 19 November 2019 (UTC)

✅, thanks for responding to the comments! --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:15, 20 November 2019 (UTC)