Talk:Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Beloved  Freak  14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Well writte, lead covers main points. Just a few suggestions below.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * One link not working.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * Neutral and balanced.
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * No problems here.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * One free image with appropriate license.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * GA criteria
 * The link to artery.com.au is redirecting to their homepage.
 * changed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm confused - the link now goes to a painting, but that doesn't support the information in the article. Is that right?-- Beloved Freak  11:35, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks like I f**ked up - not a rare occurrence, really. Now have a look. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:57, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
 * That does the trick!
 * Looks like I f**ked up - not a rare occurrence, really. Now have a look. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:57, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
 * That does the trick!

Prose
 * Further suggestions
 * I'm no expert on this stuff, so by all means take these suggestions with a pinch of salt!
 * "Commencing painting in 1997, Ngoia Pollard won a major..." - might sound better starting with the noun: "Ngoia Pollard commenced painting in 1997 and won a major..." - also avoids two "ing"s next to each other
 * True, but i've been trying to avoid beginning sentences with her name all the time. Have tweaked it so at least the two -ing issue is fixed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "She went on to the painting prize..." - should this be She went on to win the painting prize...?
 * oops, yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "Marrying Jack Tjampitjinpa, they moved to Kintore..." - doesn't sound quite right; they doesn't match marrying. Perhaps She married Jack Tjampitjinpa and they moved to Kintore
 * yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "In 1997, Ngoia Pollard began painting independently, and by 2004 won the first prize..." - I think this should be and by 2004 had won the first prize or and in 2004 won the first prize
 * yes, the latter. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * "Western Desert artists such as Ngoia Pollard will frequently paint particular 'dreamings', or stories..." - is will necessary here?
 * no! hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Other
 * Ok, I know it's only short, I guess I just have a short concentration span, but by the time I got to "Career", I could have used a link to Mount Liebig. It's at that point, when it's directly relevant to her work, that I wanted to click to that article, especially if that article is developed further in the future.
 * done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)


 * Consider adding WP:PERSONDATA template
 * done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:17, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Another great Aussie artist article (alliteration!); just one external link in the references to be fixed and I will be happy to list the article.-- Beloved Freak  14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Ok, I'm happy to list this as a good article now. Well done!-- Beloved Freak  16:58, 26 August 2010 (UTC)