Talk:Nick Kerbawy/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 02:42, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk)  @ 02:42, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * Recommend adding in that he was a three-time NFL champion with the Lions in the lead.

Biography

 * He also attended Michigan Normal College (now known as Eastern Michigan University), and played tennis there, winning the 1935 championship, although he did not receive the trophy until 1949. -> He also attended Michigan Normal College (now known as Eastern Michigan University) where he won the 1935 tennis championship, although he did not receive the trophy until 1949.
 * In c. June 1948 if it actually happened in June 1948, you don't need the circa. If it was around that time, I would recommend rewording to something more general, like "In the middle of 1948"
 * After McMillin was fired in the 1951 season -> during the 1951 season
 * best teams in the 1950s: no need for the colon, just end with a period and start the new sentence.
 * championship in 17 years, and the second time overall. no comma needed
 * However, Kerbawy helped build the Lions back up in the next season, and helped them win nine games and place second in their conference, narrowly missing the playoffs by a half-game the repetition of "help" is clunky. Maybe next season; the team won nine games and placed second in their conference?
 * Kerbawy was fired from his positions after just three seasons, in January 1961. -> Kerbawy was fired from his positions in January 1961 after just three seasons

Images

 * Image is non-free, but rationale looks good.

Nice work, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk)  @ 18:52, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I believe I've addressed all of the issues. Thank you for your reviews! BeanieFan11 (talk) 20:49, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007  (talk)  @ 21:27, 23 August 2023 (UTC)