Talk:Nicole Haislett/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 15:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks, Mike. I look forward to your comments and suggestions.  Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 15:52, 24 January 2015 (UTC)


 * To avoid a single sentence paragraph, how about moving her graduation to the section on her life after swimming, since it does postdate her retirement?
 * ✅ Moved college graduation text to "life after" section. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)


 * The lead is a touch short -- I think a sentence or two could be added, perhaps mentioning her world records.
 * ✅ Re-arranged and expanded lead section, including mentioning her American and world records, as well her international medal totals. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)


 * "Afterward, she studied to be a chef at the Florida Culinary Institute in West Palm Beach, Florida, and she formerly worked as the dining room manager and activities director at an assisted living community for seniors": this would read more naturally in chronological sequence.
 * ✅ Tweaked sentence to clarify that sequence of events was already in chronological order. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)

That's everything I can see -- the article is in great shape. I'll put the nomination on hold. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:26, 24 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Please let me know if you have any other comments, questions or suggestions. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 17:15, 24 January 2015 (UTC)