Talk:Nicrophorus tomentosus

Suggestion
Species Classification Description Interesting Facts Research Mkw0509 (talk) 01:45, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Your page was really good. My corrections are in quotations.  The intro was great!  Also you stated Nicrophorus tomentosus and now you can just put N. tomentosus.  I would help your paper flow better.  The word Thus is used way too much.  That is kind of an extra word that isn’t needed.
 * In the sentence, As stated in the graph above, Nicrophorus tomentosus belongs to the Animalia kingdom, Arthropoda phylum, and Insecta class; I think you should change the word ABOVE to “to the right.” When I read that sentence I looked up and got confused.
 * The genus, Nicrophorus, means “death carrier.” And Tomentosus means covered in short hair on the pronotum. [4]. I think you need to remove the period and lower case the A in and along with lov=wer casing nicrophorus and tomentosus.  “The genus, nicrophorus, means “death carrier” and tomentosus means covered in short hair on the pronotum.”
 * I feel like some of the sentences in here are sort of wordy. Remember this is encyclopedic writing, as our peer reviewer kept telling us.  Write brief and get rid of extra words.
 * Instead of the title Interesting Facts maybe say “Unique Characteristics”
 * You need to italicize “Nicrophorus tomentosus” throughout this whole section. Cool section though.

Anushkav18 While mating behaviors are briefly mentioned in the life cycle section, I think including specific information regarding how mate searching behavior occurs would be beneficial. There is only information about when mating typically happens and where it takes place so I think that writing more about male vs male or male vs female interactions would improve this entry

Thank you
Thank you for your comments. We really appreciate your effort in trying to help us improve our article. We have tried to correct the items you suggested. Your sentence about the placement of our graph was a big help. Again thank you for your time. --Kaleelkirk (talk) 04:51, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Italicize the species name...
I enjoyed this article, however I noticed that in every section but Life Cycle and Diet the species name was not italicized. Italics should be used whenver the species is referred to in the paper, whether it be as N. tomentosus  or as Nicrophorus tomentosus. Mehermance (talk) 22:43, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Thank You Thank you for your comment about italics. We must have overlooked this. You were a big help. --Kaleelkirk (talk) 05:02, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Good article! The page has great information on Nicrophorus tomentosus, and was easy to read (for the most part). When I was reading the Interesting Facts section, it seemed very choppy and did not seem to flow together very well. I think if it was rearranged it would have a better flow, and improve the article as a whole. One other thing I would suggest would be to just go back through the article and make sure you have proper punctuation. I fixed a few of the mistakes, but there are still a few problems. Still a good article guys! (AggieKelly18 (talk) 23:27, 1 April 2009 (UTC))

Hey guys. The introduction was very choppy and I felt that it was kind of all over the place. "However, unlike other burying beetles, Nicrophorus tomentosus doesn’t feed their brood carcasses. [3] Recognition of these beetles can be distinguished by its black color with orange markings on the wing covers (elytra). [4]" What does the first sentence mean? Also, Nicrophorus americanus and Nicrophorus carolinus also have orange markings on their back. Maybe give some more identifying characteristics or present a key that would help in identifying. The species classification paragraph looked similar to the taxonomic breakdown at the top right of the page. A suggestion is that you could include the etymology of the Nicrophorus tomentosus in the introduction and leave that paragraph out. The habitat and distribution could be a little more specific. Maybe elaborate about the areas where there are found i.e. heavily wooded areas, grasslands, etc. Good job guys!!! (talk) 16:38, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Great article guys. Very solid information. However, I do agree with the comments above that it could very easily be improved by just going through and cleaning up the syntax. I noticed a few grammatical errors and the overall writing style made it a little difficult to read. A little bit of editing could go a long way here. Also, some more elaboration on the forensic importance, especially in regards to humans, would be great, though I know this information may be hard to find. Other than that, as suggested above, a little more clarity as to the identification of this specific species versus that of others in the Silphidae family would be helpful. Still a good article. Thanks guys. Acreese23 (talk) 17:27, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

This article was very nicely written and I really liked the organization of it! Well done! However you may want to include a section for forensic importance or research. I acknowledge your research section you already have, however you might want to tie in how this can affect PMI. ... --Kalyseg (talk) 02:27, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

I really enjoyed this article, especially with the interesting facts and the research information provided. The picture is great too! However there are some odd sentences here and there and I made some minor edits, including adding an "s" to the phrase "genus of the species in the Species Classification section, along with the addition of the word "it" in the phrase "When it comes to Nicrophorus tomentosus, it is about..." in the Description section. In addition, the sentece "Carcasses can range anywhere from dead rodent to birds" in the Habitat and Geographical Location could probably be more specific. Are these the specific carcasses that Nicrophorus tomentosus is attracted to, or are they just arbitrary examples of what carcasses can be? Overall though, good article and very imformative! APad77 (talk) 19:38, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Thank y'all for your comments and compliments! We have tried to go in and fix all of our grammatical and syntax mistakes. We really appreciate y'all bringing them to our attention so that we are able to provide a better article. --Kaleelkirk (talk) 06:10, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Peer Review
All section titles should only have the fist word capitalized. Also, I noticed that the “genus species” name of your beetle was not italicized when stated in the anatomy and research sections. Also, more pictures could be added to show the unique colored pattern of this beetle better (a complete dorsal view) and to show a close-up of the clubbed antennae. The introduction could be improved by adding information regarding habitat and research. I did not see any mention of the beetle’s common name, the Gold-Necked Carrion Beetle, which I would consider pertinent information that needs to be added. (That information can be found in our textbook or in our notes from class) Also, the introduction does not flow very well, so I would suggest rewording it and clarifying the sentence “However, unlike other burying beetles, Nicrophorus tomentosus doesn’t feed their brood carcasses.”  The species classification section is very redundant. Since most of the information is repeated from the box at the right of the page, this section is not very useful. I would suggest elaborating on the last two sentences to make this section stronger, more informative, and less redundant. Also, I would not recommend starting a sentence with the word “and” in this article. The first sentence in the description section needs to be reworded to make more sense. One suggestion is, “There are several characteristics that differentiate Silphidae from other families.” Also, “5th” should be changed to “fifth” and the phrase “When it comes to Nicrophorus tomentosus” is not necessary. Simply state, “Nicrophorus tomentosus is about 11.2-19.0 millimeters in length.” Also, instead of “When in flight, N. tomentosus’s flight pattern is similar…” it would be better to simply state, “The flight pattern of N. tomentosus is similar…”  Information regarding larval descriptions and characteristics could be included to enhance the description section. In the habitat and geographical location section, the first two sentences can be combined. For example, “Nicrophorus tomentosus are found on animal carcasses.” Also, information regarding whether or not this species feeds on human remains could be discussed here and/or in the diet section. The life cycle section could be improved by adding threshold temperatures and life span information. Since the anatomy section only describes the adult beetle, I would mention specifically in the fist sentence “adult anatomy.” Also, I think the word “string” should be “strong” in the anatomy section. In the interesting facts section, it states “The behavior that these beetles are most noted for is the way they bury small vertebrate carcasses,” and there is no explanation of how exactly these beetles bury carcasses. I think it would be very beneficial to include that these beetles do not actually bury carcasses, but rather remove soil from underneath the carcasses, so that the carcasses sink down. These beetles will then cover the sunken carcass with leaves and other debris. This information was presented to us in class, so you can check your notes or our book for these facts. Lastly, I would discuss whether or not this beetle is forensically important or not, and I would link your beetle to the “Forensic entomological decomposition” Wikipedia page since it is mentioned there. The article needs some grammatical/punctuation improvements, but overall, it is very informative. Lam09 (talk) 21:59, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Thank you so very much for all the time you put into helping us edit our article. You were such a help with all of your recommendations. We have read your comments and have tried to correct or clarify all of the parts that were suggested. Again thank you!--Kaleelkirk (talk) 06:36, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Very nice article! Just a few grammer recommendations: 1st paragraph 4th sentence- You need a comma after "dead animals(carcass)" because you are separating two independent clauses. Another comma is needed after "as the name suggests" because here you have a dependent clause preceeding the independent clause. You also need to change "then" the "they."

2nd paragraph last two sentences- You should combine these sentences with a conjunction rather than starting a sentence with "and."

3rd paragraph 3rd sentence- You are lacking a subject in this sentence. If the species is the subject, "When it comes to," is unnecessary.

Hope these minor changes help! --Kendrahewitt (talk) 17:28, 15 April 2009 (UTC)Kendrahewitt

Thank you Thank you for your suggestions! Even minor changes are beneficial for improving the quality of our article!--Kaleelkirk (talk) 06:37, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

There are many errors still present, such as species names not in italics and many spelling errors. In addition, I think that the following words in your article could be linked to another page:

decaying -- to decomposition olfactory -- to olfaction

Also, there are only 9/10 paragraphs present! Definitely fix the many editorial mistakes (spelling, fragments, run-ons, punctuation errors, etc.). If possible, the addition of a few more pictures to the page would help it be more pleasing to the eye and help readers to recognize the species. -- user:pmullinsPmullins (talk) 04:30, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

This is a good, well written article. I do have a few suggestions that might make it better. I would change all the Nicrophorus tomentosus in the Habitat and Geographical location section to N. tomentosus just because the whole word isn't necessary. Also, a few of the sentences are kind of drawn out. For example, "When it comes to Nicrophorus tomentosus, is about 11.2-19.0 millimeters in length." "When it comes to" can be taken out, it can be reworded and more to the point since this is an encyclopedia entry. Other than those minor suggestions this article is great and very informative! Good Job! --Kali615 (talk) 06:37, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Thank you for your suggestion on the wording of a couple of the sentences. I have gone back and tried to clarify them. Thank you for your time!--Kaleelkirk (talk) 06:45, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

One suggustion I would make is to go in depth in the Life Cycle paragraph, and try to link it to forensic importance if possible. Or, make a whole paragraph on forensic importance. Overall though, good job. Zotkot14 (talk) 21:38, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Your page is really well organized. I have a few grammatical suggestions for you. In the first paragraph, the sentence: "the beetles have sensitive antennae that contain olfactory organs" does not need a comma. And the last sentence would flow better if it said: "Recognition of these beetles can be distinguished by their black color and orange markings on the wing covers. Under Description the first sentence would flow better if it read: "There are many ways to differentiate the Silphidae from other families. Silphidae have striations on the 5th abdominal tergum." Also try to change all of your "its" to "they". Under Diet watch your commas. Here are some comma edits I made: "These include, and are not limited to: rats, moles, voles, and other rodents the parents happen to find. Once the body is found, the male and female remove any hair or feathers, and roll the carcass into the ball. In order to preserve the carcass, it is sprayed..." You guys did a great job! Tbernzen (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 21:52, 16 April 2009 (UTC).

Great job with this page. A very informative article. Reading through the article I did find a few grammatical that I was easily able to fix. Throughout the acticle I italicized the name Nicrophorus tomentosus many times. One thing in particular that did catch my eye was the constant transition from N. tomentosus to Nicrophorus tomentosus and vice versa. Try to maintain grammatical consistency in your page by sticking to one or the other. Aside from that this was a well written page! --rmal21 (talk) 10:38, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Overall, your page provided a great deal of information in a well organized fashion. The only correction I would suggest is the rephrasing of the sentence "Thus they are only found in the months May through October, however July through August is when they are primarily found." Maybe it could read, "They are only found in the months of May through October, primarily in the months of July and August." It's just a suggestion. Other than that great job! Celi28 (talk) 01:08, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Very interesting and informative article! After reading your article, I mainly just came across a few grammar and formating errors. I noticed there was a few times where Nicrophorus tomentosus was not italicized. Also, check out the anatomy section. Some of the sentences could flow better or had small word errors such as "or" instead of "on". Besides these little mistakes, the article was great! Good Job! Brock1732 (talk) 03:58, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Detail of sections
The anatomy section includes a disproportionately greater amount of detail compared to the others. You could expand upon mating habits and reproductive behavior and discuss whether competition for carcasses influences these behaviors. 2600:6C40:1F0:A0F0:8983:F43A:5FDE:6668 (talk) 21:47, 14 February 2024 (UTC)