Talk:Nigel Park/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to respond and correct me as necessary!

Prelim

 * No dup links
 * Images correctly licensed
 * No edit war
 * Earwig reports no copyvio

Lede

 * "He briefly flew with No. 122 Squadron" - not the longest lede so I don't think noting that this service was over the Channel here would be out of place
 * Fair enough, have added. Zawed (talk) 08:32, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Link Gisborne
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 08:32, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

Second World War

 * why say Levin instead of RNZAF Station Weraroa?
 * It's just a personal style thing as I don't like using the abbreviation in conjunction with a place name. I have rephrased though. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "soloed" - I think this could do with a little clarification to ensure understanding for people who don't naturally understand the significance of this, and what it means
 * Tweaked a bit and included a link. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "further flight training with the Royal Canadian Air Force" - possible to say what he trained on?
 * Unfortunately no. The sources are a bit skinny on detail which is reflected in the article length. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "He later served with No. 122 Squadron" - is no date available for when he finished training and moved to 122 Squadron (unless of course this was April)?
 * Not an exact date. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "although his own aircraft received some damage to its wing." - this doesn't seem worded correctly. It's not like the damaged stopped him from shooting down the 109, so perhaps "...despite his own aircraft receiving..."
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "of enemy fighters" - is specifying the type possible?
 * The raid that his squadron was intercepting actually had three types of escort fighters, and it doesn't say which type engaged Park. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "despite jammed cannons" - wording a bit awkward again to my mind. What about "despite his cannons having jammed..."
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


 * Unless my maths is wrong (highly possible), I count here him destroying 9 aircraft plus some shares of others. Do the shares add up for the tenth victory or am I missing something?
 * Ha, you made me doubt my maths! I count ten (which includes the one he shot down the day he died), plus the share on 28 July. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)