Talk:Night Fishing (album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 03:48, 2 March 2016 (UTC)

Sorry this has been sitting here for so long. This is third on my "to review" list currently. Johanna (talk to me!) 03:48, 2 March 2016 (UTC)


 * Comments
 * Because it's the band's second album, you don't have to say that it was the "second and final album" to be recorded in Hokkaido: I would just say "final album" as this implies that the first was recorded there as well.
 * Fixed.


 * "and was their first album to be purposely conceived of as an album." I'm not entirely sure what you mean here--could you rephrase?
 * How's that?


 * I would say, "all released in December 2007"
 * Fixed.


 * Make sure the lead follows the structure of the article.
 * Does this match the structure better?


 * I don't think "notoriety" is the right word, as it usually has a negative connotation. I would say "fame"
 * Fixed.


 * Can you convince me why some of that first paragraph of "background and development" stuff is relevant, particularly the part about the first album?
 * It's context to show how the band formed, and what commercial position they were in prior to releasing the album. The Sapporo concert milestone since it was a solo billed concert, at which they performed two of the album's songs. I've simplified it a little, what do you think of this version?


 * I would just call that subsection "creation" as I think the current title is redundant.
 * Fixed.


 * Second sentence of that: replace the band name with "they"
 * Fixed.


 * This is picky, but at the end of that sentence, could you flip the references so they are in order?
 * Like this?


 * Middle of second paragraph of that: remove "including"
 * Fixed.


 * "The band did not want to remove feelings of fun..." The first part reads a little informally, and I don't see how this is connected to the genres mentioned later in the sentence.
 * How about this?


 * Please go through the article and fix the ref flipping thing, which seems to happen commonly with ref 10.
 * Fixed.


 * "most fought-over album" be more specific
 * Fixed.


 * "The label had chosen..." replace "however" with "but"
 * Fixed.


 * Why is the paragraph beginning with "Lyrically, Yamaguchi worked around a "night" theme" not in the next subsection?
 * Is it better at the start of the next section, here?


 * "Several plans for the album did not come into being." Please rephrase
 * Fixed.


 * In the image caption for Queen, I would say that it was partially inspired by them
 * Done.


 * "In December, Sakanaction..." later in that sentence, change it to: "to promote the album, where they performed at the..."
 * Fixed.


 * "Originally the band had planned on releasing a new studio album in March 2015, however could not due to bassist Ami Kusakari's pregnancy." Most of the stuff in this section looks good, but I don't see how this sentence is relevant.
 * Reworded.


 * At the top of the Critical Reception section, would you make a box using Template:Album ratings? I find it very helpful.
 * Critical reviews in Japan are generally positive by nature (except Rolling Stone Japan for some reason, and for long-dead subjects); as the act of writing about it is seen as an endorsement (and if the reviewer didn't like the release, they would ignore it and not write about it). If I added a box, it would just be a list of the reviewing sources with '(favorable)' next to them a bunch of times. I could still add it if you'd like, but since there weren't any overseas reviews of the album or one by Rolling Stone Japan, I'm not sure if a table would add anything.


 * Were you unable to find any mixed or negative reviews?
 * Same as above. It's a cultural thing; and I can't cite publications not reviewing a release, because I have no idea if a lack of a response is an intentional snub, or just that they didn't listen to the album.


 * I would say "more than double the number"
 * Fixed.


 * You don't have to reestablish that that's their debut album.
 * Fixed.


 * You repeat "additional" twice in one sentence
 * Fixed.


 * Sorry if I've asked you this before, but you're fluent in Japanese, right? (I'm just asking because of the references).
 * I'm not a native speaker, but I used to live there and I have a degree in it! I'm somewhere between CEFR B2 and C1.
 * That's all I was wondering! :) Johanna (talk to me!) 17:13, 14 March 2016 (UTC)


 * Ref 13 (this) is dead.
 * Fixed.

That's all I have! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and I will review your other article soon. Johanna (talk to me!) 02:23, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
 * What do you think of this edition of the article? Do you have any further thoughts for improvements?
 * Thanks so much! If I have the chance in May, I'll try to return the favour with some of your Veronica Mars articles. --Prosperosity (talk) 10:15, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
 * I don't think there's going to be too many of them there then...I don't have any anymore and only one left to revamp before I take a break from getting these up to GA. But anyways, I can definitely Pass now. Johanna (talk to me!) 17:13, 14 March 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much! --Prosperosity (talk) 00:40, 15 March 2016 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: