Talk:Nikki Jean/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: BritneyErotica (talk · contribs) 06:00, 17 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Short description / Introduction
 * 1.    Up to you but I think “…with him” instead of “…with the rapper” sounds better and a lot simpler.
 * 2.    Consider removing “highly regarded” from the short description as it could be considered puffery. I think the notability of the names is more than enough to be impressive.
 * Early life
 * 3.    I’m debating the use of race to describe her parents. If it is indicative of her brand and image, such as her songs or overall life story, I can understand using it. But when I first read “white labor lawyer” I was confused if it meant a “white labor” lawyer. It may be unnecessary after reading through the article's content. If you believe these details to be important to her article, please capitalise White as it is referring to race.
 * 2005–2008: Nouveau Riche and Lupe Fiasco's The Cool
 * 4.    "She later went on the album tour" could be worded better. Perhaps “She later went on a tour for the album”.
 * 5.    Consider reworking "Jean's collaborations with Fiasco marked her..." to “Jean's work alongside Fiasco played a significant role in her rise to broader recognition. A 2011 article from Billboard noted that she had been "quote”.
 * 7.    "She believed her lack of wide success actually helped her secure collaborations, allowing her to approach each writer as a fan" could be reworded to “She believed her lack of mainstream success helped her secure collaborations, which allowed her to approach each writer as a fan.”
 * 2008–2011: Pennies in a Jar
 * 8.    While I understand the “even” in the following "Dyaln even allowed her", I don’t think it should be included. It reads like it’s exaggerating the point which generally Wikipedia should read a lot more neutral and objective.
 * 9.    Rework "She was originally signed to Columbia Records but they dropped her in late 2010 as the music seemed "more mature" than they anticipated; the album was instead released on July 12, 2011 by indie label S-Curve Records, titled Pennies in a Jar." to “She was originally signed to Columbia Records but was let go in late 2010 as her music seemed "more mature" than they anticipated; the album was instead released on July 12, 2011 by indie label S-Curve Records, titled Pennies in a Jar.”
 * 2011-present: Extended plays and further collaborations
 * 10. Please rework the content in this section by adhering to chronological order. It mentions 2013, then 2015 and references a 2018 work, before going back to 2015. Then the second paragraph starts in 2014.
 * Musical style and influences
 * Perhaps you could expand more on "Her later EP Champagne Water touched on current societal issues, such as through providing examples for what societal issues they were (e.g., societal issues such as...). The use of "current" is too general, as in 2014 the issues were different to 2023.
 * Other and concluding remarks
 * Remember that if you incorporate my examples for reworking some sentences to keep the relevant styling (e.g., italics) and Wikilinks in the current article.
 * After these recommendations are incorporated I believe this could be passed. BritneyErotica (talk) 11:47, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * @BritneyErotica: ✅. — V ORTEX  3427 (Talk!) 05:56, 18 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks good! I've gone ahead and passed this nomination. BritneyErotica (talk) 06:32, 18 August 2023 (UTC)