Talk:Observer Effect (Star Trek: Enterprise)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 16:04, 16 July 2015 (UTC)

Happy to offer a review. Josh Milburn (talk) 16:04, 16 July 2015 (UTC)


 * "As Lieutenant Reed (Dominic Keating) and Ensign Mayweather (Anthony Montgomery) play chess, it quickly becomes apparent that they are serving as hosts to non-corporeal aliens." Apparent to us, or apparent to them?
 * I've clarified. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * What are "EV gloves and helmet"?
 * It was meant to be an environmental suit - I've rephrased and linked. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "Suddenly, Tucker and Sato reanimate as the aliens explain the situation to a surprised Archer" How? Using Tucker and Sato?
 * I've rephrased this. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "The aliens change their protocols" Sorry- I'm also unclear on this.
 * I've edited this out as it was unnecessary. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "with more advanced Humans." Why the capital H?
 * Just a typo - we had this discussion at the project a while back and I think we opted for lower case "human" (it was a discussion because we uppercase Vulcan, Andorian, Borg etc). Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "above the planet" The one on which the away mission was conducted, presumably, but there's been no previous mention of a planet?
 * I've added a mention of the planet in the first paragraph. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "to complete production on earlier episodes" It'd tie the article more closely to related articles if you mentioned some names (if you know them!)
 * The source isn't specific. I'd imagine it was "The Forge" as they were also doing second unit filming for that, but the sadly that'd be speculation. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "Michelle Erica Green disliked the episode, writing about it in a review for TrekNation. She called it "clichéd, predictable and boring",[8] saying that the sudden differences in characterization in this episode for characters such as Hoshi could potentially lead to confusion as to when they were actually controlled by the aliens. She criticized the plot which only affected the senior crew members on the ship and said that it had "ripped off" several prior episodes of the franchise including "The Empath",[8] "Homeward" and "Scientific Method".[8]" This doesn't read as well as it could- for example, I'm not sold on the repeated footnotes and I'm not clear on what she means by the "characterization" point.
 * The reason for the repeated footnotes is because the first two appear due to the quotes (as they're placed following the next punctuation mark following them) and then a final footnote for the rest of the information from the source. I've fleshed out the characterization bit further (both here and in the lead). Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * "The first home media release of "Observer Effects" was originally released in the United States on November 1, 2005, as part of the season four DVD box set of Enterprise.[10] The Blu ray edition was released on April 1, 2014.[11]" This also needs to be rephrased- does your source specifically say that the DVD was the first release of the episode?
 * Not as such - but Enterprise episodes didn't get released individually on DVD anywhere, and the two episode VHS releases ended with the first season. So they've only been featured in season box sets. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * A nice source worth citing here. It could be good to talk about this in the production section, tying the article to other episodes with similar themes. The quote is from page 341 of the following source:
 * "Stories in which a character has their mind replaced or invaded by another intelligence – often either an alien presence, or another person's mind technologically imprinted or intruded – are also common to science fiction. In the Star Trek (1966-1969) episode “Wolf in the Fold” (Robert Bloch), a seemingly demonic entity claiming to be Jack the Ripper (as well as several other notable murderers throughout history) infects the crew of the starship Enterprise. In “Turnabout Intruder” (story by Gene Roddenberry, teleplay by Arthur Singer), a scientist attempts to take control of the Enterprise by transferring her mind into the body of Captain Kirk."
 * "Stories in which a character has their mind replaced or invaded by another intelligence – often either an alien presence, or another person's mind technologically imprinted or intruded – are also common to science fiction. In the Star Trek (1966-1969) episode “Wolf in the Fold” (Robert Bloch), a seemingly demonic entity claiming to be Jack the Ripper (as well as several other notable murderers throughout history) infects the crew of the starship Enterprise. In “Turnabout Intruder” (story by Gene Roddenberry, teleplay by Arthur Singer), a scientist attempts to take control of the Enterprise by transferring her mind into the body of Captain Kirk."


 * "Similar plots in which alien minds possess or induce the minds of other characters can be found in several of the other Star Trek series, including Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994) episode “Sub Rosa” (teleplay by Brannon Braga, story by Jeri Taylor, based on material by Jeanna F. Gallo), the Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001) episode “Cathexis” (teleplay by Brannon Braga, story by Brannon Braga and Joe Menosky), and the Star Trek: Enterprise (2001-2005) episode “The Observer Effect” (Judith Reeves-Stevens and Garfeld Reeves-Stevens). Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1996) featured two alien races, the Bajoran Prophets and the Pah-Wraiths, that were energy beings depicted repeatedly possessing the bodies of others. While most of these possession narratives did not result in characters behaving in antisocial or psychotic ways, running themes of paranoia about another's behavior were common."


 * I've incorporated that into the article, thanks for that. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * One impression I got after some Googling is that the aliens initially did not intend to cure the illness- if this is so, perhaps it could be clarified in the plot section?
 * I've incorporated that into the end of the plot section. Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)

As this is a bottle episode of a not-so-popular series, it's unsurprising that the article's not as extensive of as some others. It's generally a very nice article, and I'm sure it'll be ready for promotion once you've dealt with the comments above. Josh Milburn (talk) 16:59, 16 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Also, I've copyedited the article somewhat- please double-check! Josh Milburn (talk) 17:00, 16 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, and the copyedit! Miyagawa (talk) 21:43, 17 July 2015 (UTC)
 * I've done some more copyediting/fiddling- if you're happy with how it looks, I'll go ahead and promote. Josh Milburn (talk) 10:12, 18 July 2015 (UTC)
 * I'm happy - thanks for the review J, just a three more season four episodes to go and I'll be able to GT the lot of them. Miyagawa (talk) 10:32, 18 July 2015 (UTC)
 * Great- I've promote the article. Best of luck with the future nominations. Josh Milburn (talk) 10:58, 18 July 2015 (UTC)