Talk:Odúbel Herrera/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 11:27, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:27, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * If his dad is Odubel, Sr., then shouldn’t we add Jr. to the full name in the lead?
 * —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”A native of Zulia, Venezuela, Herrera's father gave him the nickname "El Torito" as a young baseball player.” – “Herrera grew up in Zulia, Venezuela, receiving the nickname “El Torito” from his father as a young baseball player.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d put the translation in the lead, too.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”were interested in his outfield performance” – “were interested in his potential as an outfielder”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”before his contract was selected on April 26, 2021.” – “before the Phillies re-signed him in 2021.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * ”farmer in Venezuela, and played” – “farmer who also played” – Since Herrera grew up in Venezuela, people will correctly assume that was where his father was.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Known for being” – “As Odubel was known for being” – The way it is right now, the sentence seems to say that Odubel’s father was known for being…
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Texas Rangers

 * I’d add organization to the section heading, since he didn’t play in the majors for them.
 * —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Put MLB in parentheses after first mention of Major League Baseball.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in 2009 with the” – “in 2009 in the” – I think it’s “in” a league and “with” a team.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”batted .280, with” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d spell out Arizona League Rangers.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He started the season in Frisco” – “He started the 2013 season in Frisco”, or “He started the first of those years in Frisco”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Then, you can take out 2013 from “August 1, 2013”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”2014 season, but was” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”he hit .297” – “he had hit .297”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with the Venezuelan Winter League” – again, in.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

2015-16

 * ”the most of any” – “the longest of any”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”father, and returned” – “father, and he returned”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Despite his offensive” – “Despite Herrera’s offensive”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Herrera a finalist” – “Herrera was a finalist”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Award, after registering” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

2017-18

 * ”in what should have been the” – “while representing the potential”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”energy to reporters” – I’d take out “to reporters”, as this might be misread as Herrera displaying a lack of concentration and energy specifically to reporters. Maybe put “both publicly criticized” instead earlier in the sentence.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”break, and he had” – “break and accumulating”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with a 31-game on-base streak, the longest such streak from the start of a season since Matthew Holliday in 2015” – “with a multi-game on-base streak, the longest to start a season since Matt Holliday reached base in his first 30 games in 2015.” Don’t put the number yet since it wasn’t a 31-game streak, it was a 45-game one.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”he reached his” – “he recorded his”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Although he did reach base in the ninth inning, after the ball got past St. Louis Cardinals catcher Francisco Pena, the play was officially ruled a strikeout and did not count towards his on-base numbers.” – “Although he did reach base in the ninth inning, he did so on a dropped third strike, which did not count towards his on-base numbers.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”on-base streak in April and May” – Can take out “in April and May,” pretty obvious which one it refers to.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and after a 4-for-29 stretch” – “and after he had a 4-for-29 stretch”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Despite setting career highs with 22 home runs and 71 RBIs, Herrera's .255 batting average, .310 on-base percentage, and .730 on-base plus slugging in 597 plate appearances were a career worst.” – “Despite setting career highs with 22 home runs and 71 RBIs, Herrera also set career worsts with a .255 batting average, .310 on-base percentage, and .730 on-base plus slugging in 597 plate appearances.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

2019-21

 * Make clearer whether he was still a starting outfielder in 2019 or whether he made the roster but only as a reserve.
 * ✅ And specified that Quinn was injured —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”on May 28, following” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * No year needed for July 5, 2019.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”regular season games, and also included” – “regular season games, also including”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”batted .222, with” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”On January 14, 2020, Herrera was designated for assignment, with general manager Matt Klentak intending to outright the player to the Triple-A Lehigh Valley IronPigs. The Phillies' outfield presence had been bolstered by Adam Haseley and Jay Bruce, and Klentak cited the fact that Herrera "wasn't very good for the first couple months last year" as reasons to remove him from the roster. Herrera cleared waivers on January 16 and was assigned outright to Triple-A.” – “On January 14, 2020, Herrera was designated for assignment. The Phillies' outfield presence had been bolstered by Adam Haseley and Jay Bruce, and general manager Matt Klentak cited the fact that Herrera "wasn't very good for the first couple months last year" as a reason to remove him from the roster. Herrera cleared waivers on January 16 and was assigned outright to the Triple-A Lehigh Valley IronPigs.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He had an opportunity to play in two games later that year” – “He played two games later that year”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”scoring two hits” – “recording two hits”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link the injured list
 * ✅ Earlier with the addition of Quinn —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Player profile

 * This section looks good!

Personal life

 * ”to relay messages with reporters” – “to communicate with reporters”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”which he did not realize at the time ‘was disrespectful to Herrera and Latin players in general’” – “saying he did not mean to be ‘disrespectful to Herrera and Latin players in general’”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Legal incident

 * ”Herrera’s contract for the season” – I’d drop “for the season”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”with the Phillies until” – “with the Phillies organization until”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

I used to always get him and Maikel Franco, who I guess had a few good years as well, mixed up, probably because they both came up around the same time. It’ll be interesting to see if he can regain his All-Star form! Anyway, looks good as usual, just a few minor changes. Let me know when you’re done, and I’ll give the article another look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:11, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, word on the street is that the Phils might re-sign Franco, since the Orioles let him go and we can't find a third baseman to save our lives, so the confusion may continue! Anyway, all changes addressed, thank you for the review! —  Ghost River  13:47, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks good now, passing! Nice work once again! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:29, 14 September 2021 (UTC)