Talk:Of Mist, and Grass, and Sand/GA1

GA Review
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I'll take this one. Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 09:24, 27 May 2020 (UTC)

Comments

 * 'Background' seems to me to consist of the authorial context (para 1) and the story's in-fiction context (paras 2 and 3). Perhaps these should be in two different sections.
 * I've retitled the section "background and setting"; I'd rather not separate them.
 * Refs 7..16 are primary, indicating the story locations being discussed. Personally I'd list them separately ('Primary [references]'). It's not a GA requirement.
 * I'd rather not, if it's okay with you; I frequently use the primary source for plot details and settings, but they sometimes are used in tandem with secondary sources, so I typically don't separate them in the bibliography.
 * "family is scared". Hm, maybe "terrified" would be closer to the mark.
 * Fair. Modified.
 * "with trusted friends". And he hasn't any...
 * Well he personally doesn't have any yet...
 * Healing emblem: it's a powerful image. Guess what I'd illustrate it with. Jones 1983 is certainly sufficient authority to use such an image. I'm well aware others wouldn't choose to do so.
 * I've added an image of a caduceus. I'd like an albino cobra image, but the only one on commons is dreadful...
 * Maybe you'll get the chance to photograph one, one day.


 * Triad marriages: perhaps the genders (and relative ages) of the partners should be stated.
 * Added.
 * Dune reptilians: I remember the sandworm - is that it? Maybe say what reptilians are intended for readers who may not have perfect recall (or read Dune at all).
 * Yep, that's the sandworms. Added.
 * Comparison with Le Guin's complex 4-way marriages and powerful women would seem inevitable. Has nobody mentioned this?
 * Funnily, no, not that I'm aware of. Admittedly, Mountain Ways was written long after this story.
 * I expect the critics will catch up eventually...

It's a lovely article, and thank you for getting me to read the story! Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:17, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Incidentally, did Le Guin not say anything about the story, or Dreamsnake?
 * I'm quite certain she's commented on Dreamsnake; indeed, one of her pronouncements is on the dust jacket of my copy. I don't know that she's said anything about this story, though, and I've looked quite hard.
 * Many thanks for the review; I've responded to everything. Vanamonde (Talk) 18:56, 27 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Ref 24 and ref 32 appear to be the same, but formatted differently.
 * Fixed.
 * References not needed in the lead, even for quotes, as they'll be in the body.
 * They're not necessary, but they're helpful, and there's no policy prohibiting their use.
 * If it's "The Guardian" then it should be "The New York Times".
 * Fixed.
 * Ref 29, should be "Awards".
 * Fixed.
 * Ref 26 vs Ref 29, seem to be from precisely the same source yet formatting of the reference is different.
 * Fixed
 * "1979 Locus Poll Award for Best Novel" if this isn't even notable enough for red link, why is it mentioned here?
 * It's plenty notable. Linked.
 * Around a third of the article is dedicated to the fictional "plot". Remove the lead, and you're left with very little critical substance about the work in question.
 * The article summarizes all of the available critical material, and combines it with a synopsis of normal length. Five paragraphs of themes and reception is reasonable for a story that is twenty pages long.
 * I don't find the plot section over-long. Notability is established both by the critical commentary and by the awards cited so I'm not concerned on that front. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:47, 28 May 2020 (UTC)

A few basic notes, I'll review more when I have time. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 23:30, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
 * " healer in society, and the relationship between a healer " repetitive prose.
 * Replaced one instance.
 * "responbility" basic typo.
 * Fixed.
 * I welcome any constructive comments. Vanamonde (Talk) 01:35, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Many thanks both. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:47, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Well, as the article seems to be stable and all the requested changes have been actioned, I'm happy to pass this as a deserved GA now. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:15, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, . Vanamonde (Talk) 19:38, 2 June 2020 (UTC)
 * You're welcome. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:40, 2 June 2020 (UTC)