Talk:Oh What a Circus/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 21:27, 28 August 2015 (UTC)


 * as a single from the album → What album?
 * talking about the → discussing the (I find it juxtaposing when I read a song talking about about something, but one sings a song, not talks it lol)
 * its tune with → 'Tune' is too informal
 * success for Essex, who had been dropped by his previous record company due to his declining success. → Repetition of 'success'. Suggest changing the latter to 'sales'
 * and received critical appreciation. → Why, briefly.
 * for broadway in 1976.→ Link Broadway
 * researching about her → 'About' is redundant here
 * reached only number → Omit 'only', I don't think it's needed
 * a new record deal for him. A new deal → Repetitious. These two sentences couldn't be made into one by the use of a comma and slight rephrasing.
 * The single was → Song before single
 * shares its tune → As before, 'tune' is not very encyclopaedic
 * a choral chan → Can this be linked?
 * sung by Colm Wilkinson.[4] But it was not used, → Starting a sentence with 'But' only makes it sound like it should be connected to the previous. Starting with 'but' reads a bit awkward
 * spanning the nodes from → spans from
 * Lyrically it talks → Comma after Lyrically
 * climed → Typo
 * Ché muses → Why does this instance utilise an accent on the e?

On hold. — Calvin999 21:42, 28 August 2015 (UTC)
 * Outcome
 * Passed. — Calvin999  18:12, 29 August 2015 (UTC)