Talk:Old Bacon Academy/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Neonblak (talk · contribs) 19:57, 4 September 2014 (UTC)

Hi there, I will be conducting the review on this interesting little article. Thank you for your patience, looks like this has been waiting a long time. Neonblak talk  -  19:57, 4 September 2014 (UTC)

Lead
 * I would link "Federal Style" to 'Federal architecture' and "Utlitarian" to 'Form follows function' so people like me know what that means.
 * Morgan Burkeley = Morgan Bulkeley
 * "The National Register of Historic Places also recognizes its architectural significance as an example of a utilitarian structure with Federal details." - This sentence just sounds like a re-hash of what was said in the first paragraph. What do you think of this instead? "Due to the structure's utilitarian style combined with its Federal details, the National Register of Historic Places recognizes it as architecturally significant."
 * Also, I would link "National Register of Historic Places" the first time its used, like in the sentence above :)

Design
 * "...as an institution to have young men be educated and go directly into the workforce." - might be better this way "...as an institution to have young men be educated, and then go directly into the workforce."
 * Fascade = Facade
 * "The sash is 6-by-6 and was noted..." 6x6 feet?
 * "In 1982, the hipped roof had asphalt shingles." - shingle were added in 1982?
 * Copula = Cupola
 * "The exterior of the school has complementary colors, with the walls painted a cream color and the foundation, door and window trim and cornices being painted a chocolate-brown." - a run-on and then some. Maybe this instead "The exterior of the school has complementary colors. The walls are painted a cream color while the foundation, doors, window trims, and cornices are a chocolate-brown."
 * "...natural light from the windows and had a chimney..." - needs a comma after windows.
 * "Above the classrooms on the third floor is a shallow attic that gives access to the copula." - commas after classrooms and floor. Cupola again.
 * "...from 1929 until the completed construction of the new Bacon Academy in 1962." should be "...from 1929 until the construction of the new Bacon Academy was completed in 1962."
 * " Described as "vaguely Italianate" the one-room church..." - comma after Italianate.
 * "It has a steep gable roof with asphalt shingles." - We know about the asphalt shingles from the first paragraph, maybe the steep gabled roof could be added to that sentence as well? like 'steep gabled, hipped roof'.
 * Just one wiki-link in the entire section. I think it deserved more, my suggestions would include these:Federal style and utitarian, fieldstone, granite, hip roof, victorian architecture, fanlight, link doorhood to awning, cupola, attic, pedestal, and kindergarten.

Operation
 * Wikipedia doesn't like one sentence paragraphs, but it is its own seperate thought. I'd conbine it with the next paragraph, but that is up to you.
 * "In 1939, the town began contribute funding which resulted in their loss of their complete control over its affairs." - doesn't read well, maybe this instead "In the 1939, the town began contributing funds to the institution, resulting in the loss of complete control of its own affairs."
 * This time, no wiki-links. Only two suggestions though: endowment, and National Historic Register of Places is misspelled and should be National Register of Historic Places.

Importance
 * "The National Register of Historic Places nomination submitted Bacon Academy as being important under criteria A, B and C." - Does the Register nominate its own candidated, or does someone else? If it was submitted by someone else, who? Maybe this should read "Such and such town or organization submitted Bacon Academy's nomination to the National Register of Historical Places under critera A, B, and C."
 * "Under criteria B, Bacon Academy is associated with numerous influential and prominent figures," I would end the sentence there, then use the rest as its own sentence.
 * Morgan Bulkeley again
 * no need to link National Register of Historical Places at the very end of the article, the first instance in the section is plenty if you want to link it there instead.

That's what I saw that needed attention, and I look forward to assisting you in getting this article promoted. Neonblak talk  -  02:15, 5 September 2014 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the delay, I did a bunch of fixes and I also linked sash to sash window which seemed to have caused confusion. The sash refers to the individual panes of glass which make up the window - my house has many 6 by 6 which are protected by storm windows. I forget that this terminology is not well-known and that Wikipedia's architecture pages leave much to be desired. Funny fact, part of fixing my house will likely literally involve using a car jack to repair floor boards and minor foundation issues coming off an ell. Seems I made a few bad typos - thanks for catching them. The NRHP nomination background isn't well-known, but, Hal Keiner wrote it. Keiner is a consultant which suggests that he was employed in some fashion to either complete the document or possibly the research behind the property. For this reason, I wonder if it is apt to place an authorial credit or not. I've also updated the reference with Keiner's name and the necessary dates. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 05:22, 14 September 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for changes, I made a few myself. If any are not correct, let me know, and I believe that this article now meets the GA requirements. Neonblak talk  -  00:05, 15 September 2014 (UTC)