Talk:Oliver's Army/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 09:15, 30 June 2019 (UTC)

Looks alright on first view, does need a few fixes though. Will point them out later today. --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:15, 30 June 2019 (UTC)
 * Hi Kyle Peake, thanks for taking the time to review the article. I'll get started on the suggestions you've given so far. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 01:41, 1 July 2019 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove ref from infobox and ref the information better in music; something related to the bit where the ref says "British new wave" and all that
 * Done.


 * ""Oliver's Army" is a new wave song written by Elvis Costello and performed by Elvis Costello and the Attractions. The song appeared on Costello's 1979 album Armed Forces." → ""Oliver's Army" is a song written by Elvis Costello and performed by Elvis Costello and the Attractions, from the former's third studio album Armed Forces (1979)."
 * Done.


 * "The song was lyrically" → "The song is a new wave track that was lyrically"
 * Done.


 * "Musically, the track" → "Musically, the song"
 * Done.


 * "in the UK Singles Chart" → "on the UK Singles Chart"
 * Done.


 * "The single reached the charts in multiple other nations and spawned" → "The song also charted in New Zealand, the Netherlands, Ireland and Australia, and spawned" as its not many so you can mention them all
 * Done.


 * "The song remainied on the British charts for 12 weeks straight." delete repetition
 * Done.


 * "has seen critical acclaim" → "has received critical acclaim"
 * Done.


 * "It has been covered by multiple artists." → "It has been covered by multiple artists, including Blur and Frank Skinner."
 * Done.

Background

 * "Elvis Costello wrote" → "Costello wrote"
 * Done.


 * "on a trip he took" → "during a trip he took"
 * Done.


 * "family has roots" → "family had roots" as this is past tense
 * Done.


 * "as Costello's father" → "as his father"
 * Done.


 * "had served as a British soldier" was this during any specific period? If yes, mention the time period.
 * Done.


 * "the song refers to other" → "the song references other"
 * Done.


 * Do the countries need to be WikiLinked?
 * Done.


 * Set racial slur to target List of ethnic slurs
 * Done.


 * "The use of the phrase" → "The usage of the phrase"
 * Done.


 * "in a drunken argument" → "during a drunken argument"
 * Done.


 * "Costello's father published" → "That same year, Costello's father published"
 * Done.


 * Set anti-racist to target Anti-racism
 * Done.


 * Set anti-war to target Anti-war movement
 * Done.

Music

 * "vocal harmony overdubs."[1]" punctuation should be outside of quote for consistency
 * Done.


 * "The song is notable" → "The song was noted"
 * Done.


 * Mention the release year of "Dancing Queen"
 * Done.


 * "acknowledged this influence" → "acknowledged the influence"
 * Done.


 * "Many critics make note" → "Many critics have made note"
 * Done.


 * "audience they deserved," while" punctuation should be outside of quote for consistency
 * Done.


 * Remove WikiLink to Rolling Stone
 * Done.


 * "small part of his charm."[17]" punctuation should be outside of quote for consistency
 * Done.


 * "I got frustrated at that."[8][18]" punctuation should be outside of quote for consistency
 * Done.


 * Whole para shouldn't exist for one sentence, I think this could fit somewhere in the first paragraph maybe?
 * Added a little more on the musical aspect.


 * Looks much better now

Release

 * Retitle Release and promotion as it discusses promotion as well as release
 * "convinced Costello" → "convinced him"
 * Done.


 * Add release year of the album in brackets
 * Done.


 * A source is needed to clarify the release date as OCC dates for songs are when they debuted on the UK chart
 * Done.


 * The info about chart positions can be put into a Commercial performance section that belongs above Live performances
 * In all of the GAs I've gotten passed I have put the chart info under release. Personally I think its a little more intuitive there but I'm open to moving it. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 02:49, 1 July 2019 (UTC)


 * It's fine if it's consistently like that for yours, not every Wiki page has to look the exact same so leave it in release then
 * "The song was kept" → "It was kept"
 * Done.


 * "success in America" America is not a country so change to success in the US
 * Done.


 * "Follow-up single" → "The follow-up single"
 * Done.


 * "the video was filmed" → "the video was shot"
 * Done.


 * "The video aired" → "It aired"
 * Done. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 02:52, 3 July 2019 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "has attracted positive reception from music critics" → "has attracted positive reviews from music critics"
 * Done.


 * "Blender Magazine named" → "Douglas Wolk of Blender Magazine named"
 * Done.


 * "to download while" → "to download, while"
 * Done.


 * Target Pitchfork Media to Pitchfork (website)
 * Done.


 * "on a list of his top 40 Elvis Costello songs" → "on his top 40 list of Costello songs"
 * Done.


 * "best Elvis Costello songs" → "best Costello songs"
 * Done.


 * Target Beatles to The Beatles
 * Done.


 * "12th best while Brian" → "12th best, while Brian"
 * Done.

Live performances

 * "has remained a mainstay of Costello's live setlist" → "has remained a mainstay of his live setlist"
 * Done.


 * "on television programs to promote the single" → "on television programs for promotion"
 * Done.


 * the Guardian → The Guardian and remove WikiLink
 * Done.


 * Only ref 44 as 45 just states the same thing again
 * Done.


 * A source is needed to clarify the link to the controversy
 * Couldn't find a source that linked the controversy to the show; removed reference to BBC censorship incident.

Personnel

 * Add a source for this, presumably the album's liner notes
 * Done.

Charts

 * Weekly singles charts → Weekly charts
 * Done.

Cover versions

 * Belongs between Live performances and Personnel
 * I think this is another thing that may be up to preference, as the last GA I got passed had the cover versions in this location. I figure it would be confusing to stick the personnel and charts stuff below it as these versions don't share any of that info.


 * Would be better to give Belle and Sebastian, OK Go and Cannon and Ball their own sentences so you can introduce them like you have with the others and give details of where/when the covers were
 * Done.


 * "released to promote peace" → "released in 1993 to promote peace"
 * Done.


 * 'nigger' and 'figure' should go in speech marks as they are the exact quotes
 * Done.

Final comments and verdict
Glad to see you having responded to my initial comments within less than 24 hours even though you aren't active that much on here. I believe you can get past these within a week though, so putting this ! --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:23, 1 July 2019 (UTC)
 * Hi Kyle Peake, just wrapped up on your list of suggestions. I was having a little trouble with some of the copyvio problems but aside from that I think I hit everything. If there's anything else I can do to clean the article up more, let me know. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 04:10, 7 July 2019 (UTC)

Fixed for you with ce, will ✅ this now. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:55, 7 July 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much! Very appreciative that you picked up the GA review, since this one had been sitting for a while. Thanks again. Beatleswhobeachboys (talk) 19:04, 7 July 2019 (UTC)