Talk:Oliver Bosbyshell/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 23:50, 30 September 2012 (UTC)

I take. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:50, 30 September 2012 (UTC)

Comments

 * 1
 * He was also known for his claim to have been the first Union soldier wounded by enemy action in the Civil War - Perhaps "He also claimed to have been the first Union soldier wounded by enemy action in the Civil War"? He was known for a claim reads a little awkward
 * Second paragraph has too many semi-colons
 * "After brief employment on the railroad, and after beginning the study of law, Bosbyshell enlisted in the Union cause on the outbreak of war." - perhaps "After briefly working on the railroad and studying law, Bosbyshell enlisted in the Union cause on the outbreak of war."?
 * 350 Pennsylvania troops - Pennsylvania or Pennsylvanian?
 * It sounds OK to me as is. I could change it to "Pennsylvanians", but I think this is better.
 * "Bosbyshell led his command at Globe Tavern and at Peebles's Farm. He sought leave of absence to return to Pennsylvania on personal business." - Transition is rather abrupt
 * "Disastrous" results... sayeth the source indeed, but why no scare quotes?
 * Worth a link to Republican Party (United States)?
 * In 1869, Bosbyshell was appointed - You used in 1869 above as well. Perhaps "that year Bosbyshell also..." or something?
 * He received this post as Controller Robert Dechert was a friend of his, and Bosbyshell was hired despite the fact that he was a Republican and the municipal administration was run by Democrats. - Perhaps something like "Bosbyshell was hired despite the fact that he was a Republican in a Democratic-run municipal administration as Controller Robert Dechert was a friend of his" or something. With a link to Democratic Party (United States), if Republican is linked above
 * Where'd the National Guard come in? Huh?
 * Got those, thanks. Appreciate your thoroughness.
 * "he held that position until December of that year when he resigned in favor of the post of treasurer, which he still held as of 1908." - Quite a few clauses, perhaps simplify?
 * "and involved himself for much of his life in Sunday School work, often as superintendent" - Do we need "much of his life" here? We already have many years before
 * His wife's death is mentioned in the infobox but not in-text. Any word how this affected him?
 * The first two still haven't been addressed. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:53, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
 * OK, will do.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:03, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
 * (clarifying) the first two under the note "Got those, thanks. Appreciate your thoroughness." — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:08, 8 October 2012 (UTC)
 * Got those now.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:16, 8 October 2012 (UTC)


 * 3
 * "Who's Who" in the footnotes doesn't link anywhere, per Ucucha's tool
 * Did this myself. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:05, 1 October 2012 (UTC)


 * 6
 * File:OC Bosbyshell Sig.svg needs categories and, preferably, no bare urls
 * File:Second Mint.jpeg needs a crop and proper information template. Uploading the full resolution version might be better too, but that's not part of the criteria at either GA or FA.
 * Why the alt for the signature but not the other images?
 * The result of a copy and paste from another article. I do not object to alt text but choose not to do it myself because people are always picking at it.  I have removed the field from the infobox for signature alt, and also swapped the Mint image for another I found on the LoC site which is much better.  I think I'm up to date.


 * Suggestions for FA
 * More context would be good, especially information about his activities in certain areas (his book, for example)
 * Information on his personal life would be nice, if available.
 * What did he do in the 20th century?


 * Source spotchecks for this version
 * 3a: - Fine
 * 3b: - Close paraphrasing, looks exactly the same as the source.
 * 3c: - Checks out
 * 3d: - Close paraphrasing, format is essentially the same as the source
 * 3e: - Fine


 * 18 - Fine


 * I"ll look at these. When I don't have a lot of context to go with, I sometimes try to stick fairly close to the source.  Did you mean Footnote 4?  I see Footnote 3 as only used once.  I have not been able to find anything out about 20th century stuff on him.  I will add a bit of family life.  I don't see a lot on the book.  I glanced through it, as I use it as a source, but cautiously.  I have to call the ANA library tomorrow to get a 1993 article on him, they are closed today.
 * Can you double-check on the footnote number?--Wehwalt (talk) 21:56, 2 October 2012 (UTC)
 * 4, yes. Sorry. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:44, 2 October 2012 (UTC)

Further discussion

 * On hold for fixes. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:21, 1 October 2012 (UTC)
 * I've changed the two paraphrasing; in both cases it was because there isn't a lot of supporting info. On the others, I'll give the ANA library a call, they are usually helpful.--Wehwalt (talk) 00:59, 3 October 2012 (UTC)


 * Okay, looks good. Passing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:34, 8 October 2012 (UTC)