Talk:On a Sunday/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 18:21, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

Will have this completely reviewed by next week. It will mark the first GA of 2019 if I pass it! --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:21, 7 June 2019 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Ref is not needed


 * Ester Peony and Alexandru Șerbu should be listed as producers, since they are referenced as composing the track
 * The producers of the track are unknown. Composing is not producing, it can be writing notes on paper but not producing in a programm or something like that.


 * "Musically, "On a Sunday" is a mid-tempo blues" → "Musically, the track is a mid-tempo blues"


 * "lyrics discuss on a failed relationship and have Peony reflecting" → "lyrics discuss a failed relationship and include Peony reflecting" as the word on is not needed and include reads much better than have.


 * "represented Romania in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Tel Aviv, Israel after" → "represented Romania in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Tel Aviv, Israel, after" the sentence currently leads to confusion of whether Israel is the location or a represented countries, this will make it specific


 * Target LED screens to LED display


 * "to a reported 100,000 euro" → "to a reported 100,000 euros"


 * "Music critics gave the song mixed reviews upon its release, praising its production,..." → "The track was met with mixed reviews from music critics upon its release, with some praising its production,..."


 * "was uploaded onto Cat Music's YouTube channel on 10 March 2019" → "was uploaded to Cat Music's YouTube channel on 10 March 2019"


 * "the clip shows the singer" → "the video shows Peony"

Background and composition

 * "She subsequently had success in Romania" → "She subsequently achieved success in Romania" - the former reads weirdly


 * "while music was composed" → "while the music was composed"


 * Wiwibloggs should be italicized
 * Wiwibloggs is a website, not a publication in that sense. Even the title of its Wikipedia article is not italicized.


 * Last sentence belongs as the last sentence of the second para in the section
 * I disagree. The last paragraph talks about the remastered version and what was changed, then we say when it was released. I think it works fine as it stands right now.


 * "the remastered version of "On a Sunday" would eventually be released" → "the remastered version of "On a Sunday" was eventually released"


 * "on 10 March 2019 by Cat Music" → "on 10 March 2019 through Cat Music"


 * "replacing the song's previous version.[14]" → "replacing the previous version of the song.[14]"

Critical reception and plagiarism accusation

 * Wiwibloggs should be italicized
 * See above


 * "the reviewers on the website" → "the reviewers of the website"


 * "set up a commission to analyze "On a Sunday"" → "set up a commission to analyze "On a Sunday" in February 2019"

Music video and promotion

 * Image needs alt text


 * "As of late February 2019, filming" → "By late February 2019, filming"


 * "The clip was uploaded onto" → "The video was uploaded to"


 * "Music critics gave generally positive reviews upon the music video's release." → "The music video was released to generally positive reviews from critics." Writers of video reviews aren't always music critics.


 * "live during O melodie pentru Europa 2019 on 2 March 2019" → "live during O melodie pentru Europa 2019 on 2 March"


 * "she also appeared to sing the song" → "she appeared to sing the song" as the first song performance isn't on a Romanian show.


 * "as well as on Pro FM," → "alongside performances on Pro FM,"


 * "she performed at Eurovision pre-parties including Eurovision in Concert in Amsterdam and PreParty ES in Madrid.[32][33]" → "she performed at Eurovision pre-parties, including Amsterdam's Eurovision in Concert and PreParty ES in Madrid.[32][33]"

National selection

 * "to select their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019" → "for selection of their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019"


 * "rated all songs, revealing their 24 semi-finalists on 20 December" "rated all songs; their 24 semi-finalists were revealed on 20 December"


 * Target LED display to LED screen


 * "praised the singer's performance" → "praised Peony's performance"

In Tel Aviv

 * Change target of Big Five to Eurovision Song Contest


 * "are required" → "were required"


 * "marking their second and consecutive non-qualification" → "marking their second non-qualification, consecutive to the previous one"

Live performance and reception

 * Image needs alt text


 * "the vision for the song's music video" → "the vision used for the song's music video"


 * "circa 100,000 euro" → "circa 100,000 euros"


 * "the first year for Romania to produce its own graphics" → "the first year that Romania produced its own graphics"


 * Overlinking on LED screens; remove the target


 * "ends with a brighter stage" → "ends with a brighter stage in comparison to the beginnin"


 * "was met with a generally positive response" → "was met with generally positive responses from critics"


 * Shouldn't ESCToday be capitalized, or is it a publisher?
 * It's a publisher I believe.

Points awarded to Romania

 * "Romania placed 13th" → "Romania was placed 13th"


 * "added to 47" → "added up to 47"

Track listing

 * Good

Release history

 * Change territory to country


 * Use a ref col


 * Citations regarding the digital release should be used to clarify that it was released in various countries; see "Deep in Love"
 * Unfortunately, the ref is dead now, so I canged "Various" to just "Romania" as this is the only ref we have of that release.
 * Try the way back machine?

Final comments and verdict

 * Didn't point it out every time as it comes up a lot, but punctuation inside/outside quotes is inconsistent. Either have ." or ". for consistency.
 * I now use ". everywhere. Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:55, 9 June 2019 (UTC)


 * until the issues are fixed. --Kyle Peake (talk) 19:02, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
 * I have reponded to all your comments... Thanks for your time... Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:55, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
 * Are you sure you can't find who produced the song? Try looking at the credits on Tidal??? Kyle Peake (talk) 20:19, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
 * They don't show any credits on Tidal: Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:49, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
 * And there is no archive that can be used for the release of the original song in other countries... Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:50, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
 * Looks good and if there's no producer that can be found then it can ✅ without one. Kyle Peake (talk) 21:15, 9 June 2019 (UTC)