Talk:On the Floor/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: CallMe Nathan   &bull;  Talk2Me   11:42, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

Lead
*fellow Latin-American -> The "fellow" doesn't quite make sense. You're saying she's American, and he's Latin-American *Latina heritage -> I believe proper English would suggest "Latin heritage" *It contains an interpolation of the 1982 composition "Llorando se fue" by Los Kjarkas. The composition was previously sampled by Kaoma in their 1989 single "Lambada". -> I think this would read better as a merged sentence. This way, it reads a bit choppy IMO *Gonzalo and Ulises Hermosa are also credited as songwriters for the incorporation of "Llorando se fue". -> I don't understand. On which song? Lopez's? Make this clearer *heavy synths and heavy club beats -> try to refrain from using repetitious wording *It was one of six songs produced by RedOne for Love? Lopez described "On the Floor" as an evolution of her classic song and as something which sounded very current at the time. -> Two issues. First, we are missing punctuation. Next, the reading on this part is a bit troublesome. I was reading about the song's genre influences and composition, and then it just jumps into its release. Try and make a better bridge in between these two. The current "It was one of six songs produced by RedOne for Love?" doesn't work well *Idol was used as the platform to launch the song's music video as well as the stage for Lopez to perform the song live for the first time. -> Could be worded better. Also, the latter part of the sentence is not found in the body (will add live performance(s) section) *vintage Lopez -> either this is a quote, or original research *Critics complemented the exotic production, calling the song vintage Lopez but criticised somewhat over their perceived lack of originality. -> this one can use work towards the sentences closing (tense issues) *selling nearly two million copies in the United States alone -> I believe the body indicates 2.1 million (over 2) *Fans were given the opportunity to vote for the video's final ending. The completed video premiered simultaneously on Vevo and American Idol. -> avoid these choppy sentences *not WP:OR, in MTV's description of the video they refer to one of Lopez's characters in the video as "queen of the nightclub". *It also received critical acclaim for the styling and for overshadowing the episode of Idol it debuted on. -> Doesn't make much sense. If I didn't read the actual quote in the body I wouldn't understand it. Also, then you should mention it being criticized for its use of product placement *It also drew comparisons to the sex appeal last shown by Lopez in the 2002 video for her single "I'm Gonna Be Alright". -> To Lopez's sex appeal
 * It was released by Island Records, -> I don't think this comma is necessary. It breaks up the thought. Its one straight solid statement. "It was released by Island Records on February 11, 2011. It can even be its own (short and choppy) sentence
 * The single's music video was also launched on Idol, and Lopez appeared on the Idol stage for the song's first live performance. -> repetitious and poorly worded
 * I appreciate you trying to apply these fixes to the text, but "on "On the Floor." Lopez described "On the Floor" is still not the way to go. Please try re-reading sections and analyzing text
 * music critics, drawing comparisons -> who drew comparisons
 * warm reception from music critics, with critics
 * follow-up hit -> NPOV, it is not our job to distinguish what song is a hit
 * The song has been certified three-times platinum in Australia as well as platinum in the United States and six other countries. -> wording needs to be improved
 * Inconsistency with platinum and Platinum. Additionally, the sentence is still small and unconstructive
 * Lopez is seen as queen of a LA nightclub. -> the. Also, this is a bit original, as this wording is really you're opinion, not a fact❌
 * The sentence still needs work. re-read please
 * Scenes depict an underground club culture and with the styling, choreography and fashion, highlights Lopez’s abilities as a dancer. -> needs a lot of work
 * critical acclaim for its expensive production, the styling and choreography, which critics felt best highlighted Lopez’s abilities as a dancer.

Background and release
*has been in conception since late 2007 and early 2008. -> makes it sound as if it still is in conception *by mutual consent, citing that she had fulfilled her contractual obligations and now wished to release Love? under a new label. -> If she chose to leave, then how is that mutual consent? *According to the Los Angeles Times's Gerrick D. Kennedy, a full length unfinished version leaked online over the same weekend, just in time for Lopez's new L'Oreal commercial which premiered during the telecast of the 68th Golden Globe Awards ceremony in Los Angeles -> I'm trying to understand something here. What is he confirming? That it leaked? Or why it did leak? Also, we are still not really sure if you are still talking about "FOTO" or "OTF"
 * Then, under contract to Epic Records, -> During that time frame,
 * the song failed to garner any airplay, -> Can you really say that it garnered no airplay, it might have been played once in Wyoming. I suggest to mention how it didn't chart on any airplay chart, or garnered weak airplay as a result
 * despite topping the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Songs chart -> needs a source
 * subsequently left Epic Records -> I'm sure she left everyday she came, better would be parted or something more precise
 * Upon signing with Island Def Jam Music Group, Lopez -> the
 * worked further with The-Dream and Tricky Stewart -> continued work
 * work, work -> repetitious wording
 * I noticed that whenever Love? ends a sentence, you do not place punctuation. This is wrong. The question mark is part of the title, therefore not substituting as a proper close to the sentence. You still need to place a period.
 * In a tweet on her official Twitter account, Lopez posted: "I see u @RedOne_Official! We're making BIG things happen 'On the Floor' this new year!!!". -> If I'm not mistaken, you hope to take this to FA one day. Does Twitter really belong here? We need info from major news networks
 * ❌ (its been sourced from a stable static source: AOL) &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * via Rap-Up.com -> No need for the ".com". Also, this fact seems to kind of thrown into the paragraph. There is nothing about it before of following it
 * kind a fixed it.&mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Again, there is no introduction into the "writing" part. Its just stop and go. We need some sort of intro when you change from discussing its background and writing. Example "Subsequently on January 16, 2011, an unfinished snippet of "On the Floor" leaked online via Rap-Up.com. It was produced by RedOne and features a rap from Pitbull."
 * the leaked 2009 club single -> You make it seem as if it was not intentional. I mean it had an accompanying video
 * ❌, the label said that they leaked the song in a promotional/virale effort, the video was for fun because the song had already leaked, hence it isn't labelled as a single on its own page. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Hot Dance Club Songs chart. -> over-link
 * it confirms that "OTF" leaked in time for the L'Oreal commercial and Lopez's unveiling as an Idol judge. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * also coincides with Lopez's debut -> coincided
 * live world premiere -> Ryan premiers it to the US not the world
 * premiere.[6] Following its premiere
 * When speaking of the "On the Floor", Lopez said -> with who?
 * Meanwhile -> It implies that it was simultaneously
 * said she had to record "On the Floor" because it captured both sides of her career, singing and dancing, -> "had to"? Could be better. it captured both sides of her career, singing and dancing -> Tell us why that means something. Maybe how since it captures both, it holds sentimental or significant meaning to her
 * Why is there no mention of "Louboutins"? This was kind of the original lead single of the project
 * ❌ Did you miss the opening sentences of the paragraph? it was mentioned...&mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  00:51, 13 June 2011 (UTC)

Style and composition

 * Latino rapper Pitbull provides additional vocals in two verses -> "additional" implies that Lopez's vocals are there as well. From what I remember, Pitbull has his own verse.
 * deriving from -> influence
 * Fellow Latin artist and rapper Pitbull -> RedOne is from Morocco, which would make him African. He is not fellow to Pitbull's Latin heritage
 * It is written in time signature of -> the
 * Lopez sings in a vocal range from A♭ minor to B♭. -> Lopez's vocals range from the
 * Bill Lamb also compared the song -> also would only apply if he compared it to the same song as the former reviews
 * and the exotic touch that "Stereo Love" (2010) by Edward Maya had. -> Definitely need to change that
 * LA Times is linked about 4 times
 * agreed stating -> agreed, stating
 * However, comparisons were made between -> Why "however"? This would only work if critics said it was completely original, then you could say "however, Lamb felt it copied DeLuna's....
 * "On the Floor" and another RedOne production, Kat DeLuna's 2010 single, "Party O'Clock", which was also produced by RedOne. -> the latter is redundant
 * In "Party O'Clock" DeLuna sings -> Not necessary to mention the song, its obvious that DeLuna is singing this song from the previous sentence

Critical reception

 * was generally met with positive reception. -> was met with
 * About.com over-link
 * ❌ this is a new section hence new link. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * positively reviewed the track -> can mean he was positive about reviewing
 * "small touch of the exotic". -> This was not taken out of context well
 * He further went on to say -> c/e
 * Jennifer Lopez sings with an authority in her voice that makes her -> said above already with "enjoying "Jennifer Lopez' authoritative party leading vocals","
 * Mikael Wood from the Los Angeles Times disagreed, calling "On the Floor" the standout track from LOVE? -> Disagreed? How so? Caps?
 * The Houston Chronicle's Joey Guerra was also critical in noting -> How is any of this critical? Also, you should cut out any mention of the album
 * ❌, i've removed the 'critical' part but the review states that there are four standout songs on the album, of which OTF is one. It provides context.
 * Said is repeated a bit too often, try others
 * the song was a "sweat-inducing, sticky dance floor track -> Did the song disappear? It is
 * Over-link "FOTO"
 * ❌, new section new link. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * he noted that it was not as "inventive as the pop gems he crafts with muse Lady Gaga" -> I think you can summaries this better than the quote. It appears out of context
 * and criticised Pitbull's "throwaway verse" but added that the single was "vintage J.Lo." -> however adding
 * by her fellow critics -> They don't work at the same firm
 * Why the need to mention her name in every quote?
 * (note that in this case as both Nadine Cheung and Lopez are female the names are required to distinguish who's been spoken about).
 * Nadine Cheung from AOL Radio Blog, Nick Levine from Digital Spy -> repetitious
 * ❌ repititious from what? This is a brand new section and each thing needs to be introducted with the link/name etc otherwise those who click and navigate to one particular section may not know how Levine or Cheung are etc..&mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * He praised the "no so-subtle" sample and "Latin-tinged electro-housy" production for making the song "the antithesis of classy", and although not original, "there's no denying that this gets the job done." -> Wow, this sentence is a bit crazy
 * However some critics criticised the lack of originality. -> We need a better introduction for the critical paragraph
 * In his review of LOVE? -> why caps?
 * Ken Capobianco from The Boston Globe agreed, describing "On the Floor" as quiet generic. -> How is calling it generic agreeing with the previous reviewer calling it trashy?
 * The single even drew comparisons to "Party O'Clock," -> Why "even", it makes it sound like a "NO WAY!" moment. Also, this was already mentioned so there is no need to introduce it in such a manner
 * ❌ again this is a new section and if people have skipped str8 to this section it won't make sense.
 * a single by fellow Latina singer -> fellow again? Latina?
 * also produced by RedOne -> We know this already
 * ❌ again this is a new section and if people have skipped str8 to this section it won't make sense.
 * The latter half of this paragraph should be a "Controversy" sub-section
 * ❌, only the NY Daily News made these comparisons the only coverage from a reliable source is from the NY daily and the information contained is incredibly tiny. Since positive comparisons were made to Lopez's own singles it seemed to fit better here. Additionally there's not really a 'controversy' as the initial comments were not followed up nor did it have a significant impact on the song, DeLuna didn't even respond to comments that Lopez knew nothing of her song. It has to be taken in context. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  22:47, 13 June 2011 (UTC)
 * DeLuna said she was inspired by Lopez, and saw her as someone who opened the doors for people like her to sing. -> said pretty much verbatim in the quote before it

Chart performance (US and Canada)

 * I think two paragraphs would look better than the bulked four
 * in the week -> during
 * Thus it became the first single from the Love? album to receive airplay recognition, as neither the album's Epic Records buzz single ("Fresh Out the Oven", which also features Pitbull), nor the previous lead single "Louboutins" had received airplay. -> This sentence is very problematic. First off, the album is over-linked. Next, the Canadian Hot 100 has nothing to do with airplay, so it doesn't make sense.
 * Lopez, Lopez -> switch it up a bit
 * It is also Lopez's highest charting single, in Canada, in nine years. -> Poor use of commas. Actually, none are need. Also, this is repetitious as you already told us her last single to top the chart was "Jenny from the Block" (2002).
 * In the United States, "On the Floor" made its chart debut on the Hot Dance Club Songs, at number twenty-six. -> source?
 * source has been provided (see this), although the current page is remporarily down. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  01:05, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * US, U.S. -> inconsistent
 * Billboard's Gary Trust reported that it was Lopez's best U.S. chart position as a lead artist since 2003's "All I Have" with LL Cool J, although she had appeared in the top-ten once since then, but as a featured artist on LL Cool J's 2006 single, "Control Myself". -> I'm a bit confused. Its debut position or peak? Needs a lot of explaining


 * Billboard' Keith Caulfield -> s, also repetitive to the last one
 * Island is over-linked
 * ❌, per previous instances. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  17:20, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * "Lambada" single -> doesn't make sense
 * It is the first single, in nearly three years, to debut in the top-ten of the Hot 100 and then climb up the chart in its second week. The last single to do so was "So What" by Pink in September 2008 -> Uny, I think you are going to far with these commas. They are meant to provide a break in the reading, why pause after "It is the first single"? Try reading it together, its much better. Also, these two sentences would sound better merged once the commas are removed
 * On the magazine's editors -> ?
 * attributed to Lopez's commercial comeback -> remove to
 * He also noted that Lopez's appointment as a judge on American Idol is also linked to the growth in her popularity. -> noted - is -> tense issues
 * By March 28, 2011, "On the Floor" reached number one on the Hot Dance Club Songs chart, becoming her third consecutive dance number-one hit from Love?, the first two being "Fresh Out the Oven" (with Pitbull) and "Louboutins" (2009). -> source should be here
 * Counting all albums, Lopez has had five consecutive number ones on the Dance Club Songs chart and overall, "On the Floor" is her eighth U.S. Dance number-one. -> needs significant re-writing
 * for the shipment of a million copies -> denoting shipments of one million copies
 * a song that is ONLY released digitally cannot be certified for shipments. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  01:05, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * performance of "On the Floor" took place on May 5,2011. As a result of the performance, -> repetitious
 * the greatest digital gainer award -> I wouldn't call it an award
 * ❌ you might not, but Billboard does. Next to the chart listing Billboard refers to such feats as the Digital Gainer Award or if airplay the Bullet/Greatest Gainer Award that week. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  01:05, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * You are missing the point. If you are going to write award, it needs to be quoted as its the exact title, not in your own words, which makes it sound as an actual award. And please, cut out the sarcasm.-- CallMe Nathan  &bull;  Talk2Me   01:22, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * , i've fixed the issue. I didn't quite understand what you meant as I've never encountered the Digital Gainer thing before but taking your comments on board I've changed it to "Digital Gainer" title as this more appropriate than award. Btw Nathan, I respect your opinion, I apologise if my response came across as sarcastic, that isn't what I meant at all. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  17:20, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Don't worry Uny, I know you didn't mean it that way :) Your doing great with the improvements!-- CallMe Nathan  &bull;  Talk2Me   17:24, 14 June 2011 (UTC)
 * "On the Floor" reached a new peak of number three on the Hot 100 and number five on the US Pop Songs chart. -> This is kind of thrown into the mix. Try merging
 * Lopez's highest charting single commercial single
 * This section alone says "Lopez" 27 times. Its way to repetitious. Check throughout article
 * 2002's "Jenny from the Block" -> over-link and we know its date already
 * US Hot 100 -> at this point we know the Hot 100 is the US
 * present sales of the single stand in of 2,169,000 copies.

International

 * International is not the right word. Its very much from the US perspective. If I live in Japan, the US is international. Any other ideas?
 * "On the Floor" was successful -> Again, not for us to decide
 * Slovakia Airplay -> Slovakian
 * and is presently still in the top-three. -> This requires it to be changed eventually. It would be better as of ''
 * remaining for four weeks -> there
 * In both instances -> territories
 * for selling at least 10,000 copies -> an issue I find throughout this section. Certifications are for shipments, not sales. Also, for those shipments, not "at least". I know you know this :)
 * I find overall this section a bit biased. Its worded to pin point and exact on how everything is a feat, and how its such an accomplishment. Stick to the facts, and nothing more
 * hehind
 * countrym
 * in the country, in the country
 * "On the Floor
 * Not necessary to repeat the countries twice in a sentence. Just writing "peaking at number   '' respectively
 * Overall the execution in this section needs a lot of work
 * In neighbouring Italy -> we aren't in geography class
 * before ascending to the summit where it would remain for four weeks. -> comma needed, I'll let you guess where :P
 * though Spanish single "Qué Hiciste" reached number one in 2007. -> again, mentioning random facts about J.lo's single success, we already established we were talking about English-language singles
 * ❌, this is some how suggesting that her Spanish singles are not as important. The language of the single makes no difference, all are listed equally in Lopez's discography. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  23:08, 18 June 2011 (UTC)
 * In Sweden it is Lopez's first number one single, whereas in Switzerland it is her second, following 2007's "Qué Hiciste" -> extra
 * Please check all this over-linking. Also, I feel like this article is a big catalog for all her older singles. We need not mention all their chart achievements
 * ❌, don't feel like this is a significant issue, each section should be able to be read independently without needing to scroll to look for links due to the sheer size of the article. additionally it is important to note that Lopez's success with OTF needs to be put in the context of her not having had any kinda of similar success in nearly 10 years. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  [talk]  23:08, 18 June 2011 (UTC)
 * In neighbouring New Zealand -> again
 * Elsewhere, in Ireland, -> this is problematic
 * was added straight to the B-playlist -> You're making this seem like a big accomplishment
 * third number-one single following "Love Don't Cost a Thing" (2001) and "Get Right" (2005). -> unnecessary
 * The strong sales -> NPOV
 * In its second week, Lopez broke another personal record when "On the Floor" remained at number one, becoming her only UK number-one to remain at the position for more than one week.[83] -> More career fluff

Music video

 * over the weekend of January 22–23, 2011 -> dated
 * with TAJ Stansberry as the director -> serving
 * Pitbull will appear in the video. -> what kind of sentence is that? The tense?
 * He commented on his approach to filming music videos for dance songs like "On the Floor". -> Pitbull didn't film the video
 * He said "When you got these big, big house records or club records that are very global, I try to come in on what I was raised on, what I'm a fan of, which is just spitting hard." -> try to incorporate quotes into text, not just randomly paste them
 * During the video shoot, Lopez spoke to MTV about the concept. She said -> avoid choppy reading
 * The video makes use of product placement, including BMW, Swarovski and Crown Royal according to Tanner Stransky -> The video makes use of product placement, including BMW, Swarovski and Crown Royal, according to Tanner Stransky
 * Lopez later confirmed, in an interview -> no comma needed
 * Lopez said the idea behind giving fans the choice was to give them a chance to see what she experiences -> tense
 * Which of the three was chosen?
 * gold gladiator heels and a gold dress -> repetitious
 * ❌ if you read the sentence "gold gladiator heels and a dress" it implies that the heels are gold but not necessarily the dress.
 * the arrival of Lopez -> Lopez's arrival
 * she is putting on a pair -> This tense is not used in a synopsis
 * as the camera switches to and descends from above, showing the club scene unfolding. -> Don't quite understand. Is she outside or in?
 * Las Vegas-style crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling. -> Seems like a sentence fragment
 * Again, Lopez is repeated to often
 * The scenes and Lopez were both styled to pay homage to her background as a professional dancer. Lopez said the video as "introducing people to a new J.Lo-ration of party people" -> revise and merge
 * In one scene, she plays a dominant queen of the party who watches from above, on a balcony surrounded by servants. -> don't you think this description is a bit dramatic and over-done
 * ❌ it is a fitting description, and is paraphrased from MTV source. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  23:45, 18 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Lopez is styled -> she was styled
 * "gold cardio barre". -> ."
 * LA Times over-link
 * According to the Los Angeles Times, she shakes her "money maker [(derrière)]." -> choppy reading
 * Spliced in between these scenes, Lopez it is seen dressed in black harem pants and a bikini top, Lopez walks through the crowd to mount a circular stage on the Las Vegas-style dancefloor -> revise a bit. Lopez, Lopez
 * "breaking it down 'fly-girl' style" (lower image). -> that image has been removed long ago
 * was welcome with positive reception, -> welcomed
 * positive reception, praising the expensive finish, arrangement, Lopez's sense of fashion and the overall execution. -> who is praising?
 * this is overall summary... each of the comments is explained in detail. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  23:45, 18 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Tanner Stransky said, the video brought -> This comma is really unnecessary
 * the video brought together a flawless realness with an expensive set-up, something which are -> that is, which are is for multiple things (i only see one)
 * Following the video's fulll premiere -> extra L
 * Following the video's fulll premiere -> did the video semi-premiere?
 * video, video
 * Kyle Anderson from MTV's Newsroom agreed, commenting that the premiere of Lopez's video almost overshadowed the episode of American Idol in which it was shown -> thats a pretty basic and unspecific quote. I wouldn't say he agreed with a guy calling it sexy
 * Emma Collins from Hollyscoop.com agreed that the video was fun and catchy -> The previous reviewer complimented her hair and the set, how are they similar?
 * annoyed that "On the Floor" continues -> tense
 * made specific reference -> made a
 * particularly noting clever cross-promotion. -> its. Also, you could elaborate a bit on that
 * clever cross-promotion. and applauding Lopez -> improper use of punctuation
 * and applauding Lopez for moving on from her previous lack of commercial success in recent years: "these days, she's crushing it." -> again, more career fluff
 * to her "day job" despite being everyone's "new favourite Idol judge." -> I'm guessing that implies dancing as her job? Not sure about this
 * The sex appeal in the video for "On the Floor" was likened to that last displayed by Lopez in the video for 2002's "I'm Gonna Be Alright". -> unsourced, poor sente"Jennifer Lopez once told us in song that 'I’m Gonna Be Alright' and now she’s proved it... The curves she displayed when she recorded the hit video nine years ago have been replaced by a leaner, fitter look." -> nothing to do with "OTF"
 * Rolling Stone magazine -> axe magazine

Misc

 * My main concern is how there is absolutely no real mention of Lopez's "big" performance at Idol. There should be a live performance section with description, viewrship, reviews and commentary on the performance
 * Now that I looked, you have one disemb link for "Love Don't Cost a Thing"

Overall

 * Well Unique, you got a lot of work here, so take your time. If you need help, suggestions or explaining, feel free to ping me. I have watch-listed this page. Good luck! :)-- CallMe Nathan  &bull;  Talk2Me   22:17, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Well, we are already two days past the allotted 7-day limit (9 days already) for fixes to be made. I appreciate the work and effort that has been made to correct said issues, but lets please try and have this done before the weekend.-- CallMe Nathan  &bull;  Talk2Me   03:37, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

Lead

 * It was released, by Island Records, on February 11, 2011 -> things like this still lingering from the first review...
 * 2× Multi-Platinum -> inconsistent with triple-P. According to MoS, I believe that we spell out small numbers. Double-Platinum
 * It depicts a Los Angeles underground club culture, Lopez portrays different characters including a the "queen of the nightclub". -> doesn't read straight through
 * received critical acclaim for its expensive production, the styling and the choreography, -> the doesn't fit here
 * One critic from MTV went as far as to say that the music video overshadowed the episode of Idol that it premiered on, however there was some criticism towards the use of product placement used within the video. -> still needs sufficient work

Background

 * despite topping the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Songs chart. -> ref 4 should be here
 * labelled as a RedOne production, featuring rap vocals from Pitbull. -> and
 * HDCS over-link
 * new L'Oreal commercial which premiered -> commercial, which
 * Lopez's debut as a full-time member -> makes it sound as if she was a judge before part-time

Style and composition

 * time signature of common time and a tempo of 130 beats per minute -> time signature of common time, which moves at a moderate pace of 130 beats per minute
 * Lopez sings in a vocal range from A♭ minor to B♭. -> not a proper sentence
 * Try to merge this and the next sentence for better reading
 * of Lopez's hit millennium single -> Bias
 * you can't compare a song to an "exotic touch,"

Critical reception

 * LOVE
 * Comments echoed by The Observer's Hermione Hoby who simply added, -> Comments echoed by The Observer's Hermione Hoby read,
 * Despite criticizing Pitbull's "throwaway verse," the single overall sounded like "vintage J.Lo." -> From the writing, it doesn't seem as though Kennedy is saying this
 * , although is what was being said, I've reworded it so it flows better. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  03:03, 20 June 2011 (UTC)
 * also noted similar things to other industry critics -> poor
 * Try not to use "saying" so often. Try switching it up a bit
 * attempted again.
 * He also agreed with other reviewers, nothing that it was a "welcome comeback for Lopez," by praising the "not so-subtle" sample and "Latin-tinged electro-housy" production -> not well executed paraphrasing and quote graphing
 * and paved the way for someone like her to perform. -> You mean Latin, female, dancy singers and butt shakers?
 * ❌ its not my place to interpret what the statement means, I wrote from the comments that DeLuna made in which she apparently suggests that she's on the same par as Lopez and the same class of entertainer. (IMO) Perhaps the ludacrisy of those comments explain why DeLuna wasn't taken seriously? &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  03:03, 20 June 2011 (UTC)
 * That is what I mean Uny. Do the sources cite any more details over the comparison than "like her"?

Chart performance

 * made its chart debut on the Hot Dance Club Songs, at number twenty-six. -> there has to be a source here
 * although she previously peaked in the top-ten once since then, as a featured artist on LL Cool J's 2006 single, "Control Myself". _> is this really important? All we are discussing is its her highest peak, no need to verify she had another top-ten hit
 * I've reworded so it doesn't seem like a random fact.
 * The single release -> single's
 * according to Bill Keveney USA Today.
 * denoting sales of two million copies. -> whether or not its digital or physical sales, the RIAA reports shipments not sales
 * Digital singles are not shipped but the pages on wikipedia for Recording Industry Association of America, RIAA Certification and List of music recording certifications are confusing so I CBA to kick up a fuss about this. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  00:37, 3 July 2011 (UTC)
 * As a result Lopez's first televised performance of the song on May 5, 2011 of the performance, -> As a result of Lopez's first televised performance of the song on May 5, 2011,
 * JFTB overlink
 * in the top-ten of the US Hot 100 and present sales of the single stand in excess of 2,412,000 copies. -> in the top-ten of the US Hot 100, with present sales of the single at 2,412,000 copies.
 * the single debuted at number sixteen before peaking -> the single debuted at number sixteen, before peaking
 * In total "On the Floor" spent a -> In total, "On the Floor" spent a
 * before dropping to number four and then returning to number one. -> before dropping to number four and then returning to number one for a fifth week
 * In both territories, it is Lopez's first number one single in Belgium, and consequently her highest charting single in that country. -> redundant. If its her  first #1, then obviously her highest charting :P
 * In Finland, "On the Floor" debuted at number one giving Lopez her third number -> In Finland, "On the Floor" debuted at number one, giving Lopez her third number
 * third number on
 * Again, they do not certify sales, only shipments...
 * There are over-links. It is still one section, so I don't think it would apply in sub-sections
 * Spell out certifications -> double-Platinum
 * Get Right over-link
 * by Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) -> the
 * Again, not for sales. For Shipments
 * was added playlists on -> to
 * becoming Lopez's chart topper in that country.
 * Overall it is Lopez's twelfth UK top-five hit, -> career fluff, this is not her discography page❌
 * count the number of singles it is her 12th top-ten. that much at least is allowed, and not considered WP:OR... many GAs and FAs use this kind of sourcing to make such comments. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  00:36, 3 July 2011 (UTC)

Music video

 * Pitbull confirmed that he would be present at the shoot to be part of some of the scenes. When asked what his approach was by MTV, he said that he "tries to come in on what he was raised on, what he was a fan of, which was just spitting hard."[85] -> This is taken out of context. He is talking about the music, not the video. Its evident just from reading it; it doesn't fit in well
 * Ref 85 says nothing about this "Queen" and "servant" theme
 * ❌ this is a synopsis section and thus do not need sources. However as some sources were present describing elements of the video I've used them in addition to my own outline of what the video is about. The MTV source describes the scene in question as "I play one character where she kind of runs this party, acts like she's kind of over it, but at the same time loves it and loves this kind of underground kind of party dance culture" along with the multiple references to regal and royalty i've surmarised this scene as Lopez appearing as the queen of the party with her servents serving her drinks as she watches the dancefloor below. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  00:46, 3 July 2011 (UTC)
 * The music video was welcomed with positive reception, praising -> who? Critics?
 * something which is "very important elements -> tense -> things that are
 * Emma Collins from Hollyscoop.com -> we need reviews from highly-known and reliable sources. I don't see how "Hollyscoop.com" fits that criteria
 * Yeah, I just looked at it. Very unprofessionally written blog, definitely not FA, not GA quality
 * "comeback of sorts" for Lopez particularly noting -> "comeback of sorts" for Lopez, particularly noting

Live performances

 * ensamble -> ensemble
 * Caryn Ganz from Yahoo! Music, who complement
 * She continued performing for 20 seconds, before realising that she had lost sound. -> Lol, that happens a lot when you lip-sync often, and sing over heavy backing vocals :P (LOL)
 * According to lifestyle website Female First -> same issue as above
 * ❌ per WP:RSN#Femalefirst.co.uk appears to be notable. Also per its website it has a pannel of editors/editorial procedures. &mdash;  Lil_ ℧ niquℇ № 1  <sup style="color:black;">[talk]  00:50, 3 July 2011 (UTC)
 * London's Wembley Arena -> How is it that you are in the UK, yet I know it was the Wembley Stadium? :P