Talk:Operation Aderlass/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 16:53, 6 August 2023 (UTC)

Hi I'll take this on as part of the August 2023 GAN Backlog Drive. Mujinga (talk) 16:53, 6 August 2023 (UTC)


 * That was an interesting article, thanks for nominating it. I've made some comments below and will put the review on hold for seven days for them to be answered. If you need more time, that's absolutely fine just as long as we keep in communication. Cheers, Mujinga (talk) 18:00, 6 August 2023 (UTC)



Copyvio check

 * Earwig gives a high hit for road.cc, which seems to have been written after this article.

Spotchecks and referencing
On this version
 * Publications such as Cyclingnews.com are sometimes wikilinked (eg 43,44), sometimes not. This should be consistent.


 * I ran some bots, including an archiver, hope that's ok.
 * 6 Die Tageszeitung is written as die tageszeitung
 * That's how the name is stylized, can change it if it's not supposed to be that way.
 * yes please change to Die Tageszeitung like our article is Mujinga (talk) 15:32, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * 7 Kicker is written as kicker
 * Same as above.
 * ditto Mujinga (talk) 15:32, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Some german language sources have their titles translated, but not all
 * "Der Kronzeuge" needs doing Mujinga (talk) 15:34, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * bonus - Cycling Weekly for Cycling Weekly on ref27 please Mujinga (talk) 15:34, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * bonus - Cycling Weekly for Cycling Weekly on ref27 please Mujinga (talk) 15:34, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * bonus - Cycling Weekly for Cycling Weekly on ref27 please Mujinga (talk) 15:34, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * spotcheck 26 - On 14 May 2019, French newspaper Le Monde announced that retired Italian sprinter Alessandro Petacchi had allegedly worked with Schmidt in 2012 and 2013 - ok
 * spotcheck 36 - In September 2021, Björn Thurau was suspended from competition for nine years and six months, after his involvement came to light due to chat messages he had exchanged with Lang. The German National Anti-Doping Agency (NADA) chose a particularly hard sentence, the longest ever imposed on a German athlete, due to the fact that he not only used, but also distributed performance-enhancing substances. Thurau never publicly acknowledged the accusations. He was stripped of all results from December 2010 onwards - ok except for "longest ever imposed on a German athlete" - is that backed by "eine Rekordstrafe"?
 * Yes, that is how I understand the article.
 * cool, thanks Mujinga (talk) 15:36, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * spotcheck 40 - A day later, Johannes Dürr backed up Schmidt's claims. When testifying as a witness, Dürr claimed to have always "felt in safe, professional hands" with Schmidt. He furthermore refused to blame Schmidt for the doping, a decision he claimed to have taken with his coach - ok, could add "Ich habe mich bei Mark in sicheren, professionellen Händen gefühlt", sagte Dürr in |quotation= in reference
 * I always find those quotations in the sources a bit clunky...
 * I'm following MOS:FOREIGNQUOTE and I think in terms of verification it's helpful Mujinga (talk) 15:36, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I have added it, but it looks seriously weird to me, I am not sure which reader is helped by this...


 * spotcheck 17 - ok
 * spotcheck 43 - ok

Images

 * Both pix are relevant and appropriately licensed. Please consider alt descriptions per MOS:ACCIM.

Article status

 * Article is stable, neutral, focused. Sources used are reliable and well laid-out, there's no original research. One question about broadness below.

Prose

 * "the police carried out a raid of the Erfurt offices" - could just say "the police raided the Erfurt offices". In addition, whose offices are these?


 * "Initial reports suggested that a German speed skater was also involved with Schmidt. On 27 May 2019, the media reported that" 2x report


 * "He was nevertheless handed a four-year ban from competition from FIS on 6 January 2020." suggest "He was nevertheless handed a four-year ban from competition by FIS on 6 January 2020."


 * "and might face charges for commercial sports fraud in addition to their suspensions" - since this is from 2019, hopefully it can be updated


 * "On 19 May 2019, Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera ... In May 2019, the UCI suspended ..  On 27 November 2019" - the article becomes  a bit "listy" here, can you perhaps pull the sentences together into a larger paragraph?


 * "In their opening statement, the defense accused" - suggest "its opening statement"


 * "and gave a confession in almost all of the 150 counts laid out against him" - suggest "and confessed to almost all of the 150 charges" or similar


 * "Dirk Q. is said to have been part" - said by who, and perhaps this isn't necessary to say for BLP reasons. Also neo-Nazi is normally spelled with a big N


 * should there be a legacy/impact section? did the governing bodies take further action?
 * ✅ with as much information that I could find


 * lead is ok for what is quite a short article, but why not add some names of the main people convicted? also I'd rather have one paragraph than a paragraph plus a one sentence paragraph
 * Have expanded the lead a bit.
 * ✅ nice job! Mujinga (talk) 15:38, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * Operación Puerto doping case is in both article and see also

Thank you for the thorough review, it led me to find some more information I had not seen earlier. Feel free to reevalaute now :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 15:16, 10 August 2023 (UTC)


 * @Zwerg Nase we are nearly there now. Just a few comments above (Die Tageszeitung, Kronzuege, MOS:FOREIGNQUOTE), plus I feel you could pull some of the sentences throughout the article together into paragraphs especially the solitary sentences like "On 16 January 2021, Schmidt was sentenced to 4 years and 10 months in prison.". In fact the trial section is still a bit listy - "On 29 September 2020 ... On 10 November 2020 ... On 16 January 2021". But I can appreciate we are moving beyond GA territory on that :) Mujinga (talk) 15:45, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I think that is all taken care of now then! Zwerg Nase (talk) 17:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Good stuff! I saw Cycling Weekly was solved by changing publication to work and on my last readthrough I saw another "on .. on .. on.." so I made an edit, feel free to change it of course. Nice working with you, congrats on the GA. Mujinga (talk) 18:33, 10 August 2023 (UTC)