Talk:Orlando Jordan/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 17:09, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 17:09, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

Here are the problems with this article:
 * The lead needs to be expanded.
 * There are a few references that are just urls and titles; publishers, accessdates, etc. need to be added.
 * Citation needed tag needs to be addressed.
 * The independent circuit section is unreferenced.
 * The prose in general isn't too good, and perhaps more importantly, there's a few spots where there are definite errors. I'm not listing every example, but here are a few:
 * "Jordan lost the title to Warrior on August 21, 2005 In Barcelona." This is in the 2006-10 section, so either the year is wrong or it's in the wrong spot.
 * "Jordan Did Participate in the APA Invitational Bar Brawl in Vengeance Which Bradshaw Won, It Happened When Nunzio Used a Black Blanket Around His Face And Chuck Palumbo Smashed His Face With a Broken Piece of Wood." huh? Confusing, uncited, and I have no idea why nearly every word is capitalized
 * "He went out on a date with a male hair stylist from LA. He drove his Black Lamborghini and took the Stylist on a shopping spree in South Beach Miami." I'm not really sure what place this has in the article, and if it is that important, then the grammar needs to be fixed (L.A., stylist, 'Beach, Miami'
 * The infobox birthdate is April 22 while the lead birthdate is April 21
 * Was he in OVW or any developmental territories at all? right now it just jumps to 2003 without anything before that

Once all this is fixed, I would ask that you put this through peer review before returning to GAN. In the meantime, I'm failing this article as a GA since there's a lot to fix yet. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 17:53, 15 October 2011 (UTC)