Talk:Orme (horse)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 00:58, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-5 days. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:58, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Initial comments
On first pass, this appears well written, well researched, and probably close to promotion as a GA. Thanks for your work on it, and I'm sorry you had to wait so long for a review. Some minor points are below. I also did some minor copyediting as I went for MOS issues, spelling, grammar, etc. Please double-check that I haven't inadvertently added any errors, and feel free to revert anything you disagree with. -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:40, 16 April 2013 (UTC)


 * "The poisoning was investigated by George Lewis," -- is it possible to add some context on who this is--a police detective, a private detective, a veterinarian?
 * Done - he was a solicitor
 * "When in the paddock prior to a race, Orme had a habit of sticking his tongue out of one side of his mouth and moving it about." -- why does this appear in the section "four-year-old season"? I'm not sure if it belongs at all in the article--it might be too much detail per criterion 3b--but it could definitely use a better transition.
 * I agree that this sounded a bit weird just stuck at the end of the paragraph. For now, I've moved it to the background section, but I agree that it is not exactly vital to the article, so if you think it should go I'll remove it.
 * It's up to you. I guess I'd weakly suggest removing it, but it's not at all an issue for GA status either way.
 * "he left Newmarket for Eaton stud" -- is "Eaton stud" the name of a place (perhaps with a capitalization error)? Or should this read "for Eaton to stud"?
 * DONE
 * "was Champion sire of Great Britain in 1899" -- is there a source for this? Also, is it correct to capitalize "champion" here?
 * DONE - yes, changed it to champion sire and added ref
 * "Flying Fox went on to be Champion sire in France three times" -- same questions as previous item -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:40, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * DONE

Thanks for this review. I've just done the quick changes will try and find a reference to George Lewis ASAP. Edwarddutton (talk) 07:45, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Added ref for George Lewis, so all done. Cheers, Edwarddutton (talk) 12:19, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Looks good, thanks. Let me turn to the checklist now. -- Khazar2 (talk) 14:29, 16 April 2013 (UTC)

Checklist

 * I removed the sentence. I also took out the cigarette card image and added an image of his racing colours instead. Note that I also added an illustration of the 1892 Eclipse Stakes. Let me know if I need do anything else regarding the images, Edwarddutton (talk) 17:14, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
 * That covers it. Thanks! -- Khazar2 (talk) 18:50, 17 April 2013 (UTC)