Talk:Owen Ray Skelton/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:34, 12 March 2021 (UTC)

Comments
 * No need to link "engineer".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:54, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "nd member of the Automotive Hall of Fame" perhaps "and automobile designer" and then say "He was elected to the ... HoF in ..." later in the lead?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "core engineering people" people seems odd here, maybe "one of the core group who"?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "Tourist Automobile Company, Allis-Chalmers, Studebaker" any of these link?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "moving engineer" never heard of this term.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "Skelton was born on February 9, 1886. He went by the nickname "Skelt.". " too short, jarring prose, needs to flow better. And did he go by the nickname immediately??  And one too many periods there.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "His family was living in" -> His family lived in
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "first automotive job" perhaps "first job in the automotive industry"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "cutting-edge" this is POV.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "simultaneously gained" gained is repetitive here.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "ground-floor partner in design" I don't understand this.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "the Benham automobile from 1914 to 1916. It was a startup firm" the automobile was a firm? Needs a minor reword.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "It was a startup firm but the automobile failed to sell" why "but"? I imagine plenty (most?) startups fail.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "South Bend" what's that?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:59, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "drive trains, transmissions" links
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:59, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "turned their eyes" bit unencyclopedic in tone.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:50, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "CEO" don't use abbreviations without explanation. And I would use "chief executive officer" when you introduce Chrysler rather than when you refer to him in later in the article.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:50, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "engineering innovation spread throughout" do you mean it was "adopted throughout" the industry?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:50, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "GM" you need to put that as (GM) after the first mention of "General Motors" (it's obvious to you, but not all readers).
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "was put into" elected? Inducted? How?  Why?  Citation?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "He lived in Palm Beach and in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan." perhaps before you mention his death, this could be mentioned.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

circumstances?
 * "Survivors at the time of his death were his wife Edith," and the rest of the planet who were alive. Perhaps "He was survived by" as we normally say in these
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "1920-1980" en-dash.
 * ✅ - Don't know how to do. Can you help me on this one? Thanks!--Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Refs 12 and 14 are under-formatted, need publisher, dates etc.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


 * "Machinists"? Is that in the article?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

That's about it, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!&#33;!&#33;) 11:14, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for review. I'll start working on the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:38, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * All issues have been address. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 15:44, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi Doug, one last thing, the infobox says he was a Democrat but that's not mentioned or referenced anywhere else? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!&#33;!&#33;) 20:04, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * - Took Democrat out of infobox. Will that work. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:21, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * FYI - Here is a video I made in 2012 for my siblings and relatives to show how I write Wikipedia articles. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:21, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Hi Doug, good to see how tidy your research station is, nothing like mine, but thankfully a lot of what I need is online these days! Happy with the article so I'm passing to GA.  Don't relax though, I'll be taking another tranche of GANs in due course and I predict at least one will be yours... Cheers, keep up the good work. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!&#33;!&#33;) 20:32, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * - Odds are you will since I have 3 dozen GANs. During the last GA drive in October (2020) I made 34 Good Articles during the 31 days of the month.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:53, 14 March 2021 (UTC)