Talk:Owls (album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 13:53, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Will take this on; first review for you in a while! --K. Peake 13:53, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
 * "debut studio album of" → "debut studio album by"
 * Independent label introduction is not needed here when you provide this in the body
 * "Owls is an" → "The album is an"
 * "Pavement and Captain Beefheart." → "Pavement, and Captain Beefheart."
 * Start a new para at the critical reception part
 * "noted its influences from the members' other bands while some others" → "noted influence from the members' other bands, while others"
 * Add a sentence after critical reception mentioning the album being ranked as one of the best emo albums by Rolling Stone
 * "The album was promoted" → "It was promoted"

Background and production

 * "namely, drummer Mike Kinsella," → "namely his brother Mike as drummer," or something similar per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * "guitarist Victor Villareal and" → "guitarist Victor Villareal, and"
 * Turns out he has a page at Victor Villarreal; swapped the link to that instead. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)


 * Pipe Sam Zurick to Make Believe (band)
 * "In September that year," → "In September 2000,"
 * "with Mike Kinsella and" should this be "with the Kinsellas" per the source?
 * I thought Mike Kinsella wasn't a member of Joan of Arc until later on (when he actually was at the time of this album, I'm mistaken). Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)


 * [1] should solely be at the end of the last sentence
 * "met with a" → "was met with a"
 * [1] does not mention those sources calling it unlistenable
 * "and The Chicago Tribune would" → "and the Chicago Tribune would"
 * "in Japan before" → "in Japan, before"
 * Introduction of "the band's debut album" is not needed here when it is provided in the lead
 * Pipe mastered to Mastering (audio)

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and songs
 * "of Pavement and the" → "of Pavement, and the"
 * Pipe jazz blues to Twelve-bar blues
 * "Tim Kinsella's stream-of-consciousness," → "Kinsella's stream-of-consciousness,"
 * Had to remove this since I removed the Portland Mercury ref. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "bounced between plucked single-notes" → "went between plucked notes" because it does not say anywhere that they are single
 * Same as above. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)


 * "is similar to his" → "was described as similar to his"
 * "and anchor Tim Kinsella's" → "and accompany Tim's" per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * "The first tracks" → "The first two tracks"
 * "include percussion such as bongos and tambourine." → "include bongos and tambourine." since these are the only instruments sourced
 * "Kinsella sings about heredity and marriage while" → "Tim Kinsella sings about heredity and marriage, while"
 * Add the year of "Who Goes Nazi?"
 * "a math rock song with" → "a math rock song, with"
 * "the record's musical forms;" → "the musical forms of Owls;"
 * "vocal melodies and Kinsella's" → "vocal melodies, and Kinsella's"
 * "refer to Tim and Mike Kinsella's cousin" → "refer to Tim and Mike's cousin" per us already knowing they have the same surname

Promotion and touring

 * Retitle to Promotion, as touring is a form of this
 * "was announced in" → "became public in"
 * Remove independent label introduction and wikilink for Jade Tree
 * Wikilink pre-order
 * "July 31 the same year." → "July 31 of the same year."
 * "the group embarked" → "the band embarked"
 * "After the tour was completed," → "After the tour ended,"
 * Move [8] to after the comma instead since refs should follow punctuation
 * "in October 2002[22] and disbanded" → "in October 2002[22], before disbanding"

Critical response

 * Retitle to Reception
 * "He said Tim Kinsella's" → "He said Kinsella's"
 * "Cleveland Scene writer Brian Baker" → "The Cleveland Scene writer Brian Baker"
 * "wrote Kinsella was "warbling in" → "wrote Kinsella warbles "in"
 * Wikilink CMJ New Music Monthly to itself per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Mention the full name of Stylus Magazine since it is not a publication where magazine is in brackets
 * "and said the nonsensical lyrics" → "and noted the nonsensical lyrics"
 * "at times" but with" → "at times", but with"
 * the A.V. Club → The A.V. Club, as "the" is part of the publication's name
 * ""orphan" list, which" → ""orphan" list for the 2000s, which"
 * "list of the" → "2016 list of the"
 * Pipe Vulture to Vulture.com

Track listing

 * Good

Personnel

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until everything is fixed; nice job for the most part! --K. Peake 17:01, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
 * Made the changes. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, only did some very brief copy editing and the sources you provided are acceptable now. --K. Peake 07:54, 22 November 2021 (UTC)