Talk:Painting of a Panic Attack/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 17:28, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

I will review this soon like you previously expressed interest in being done; there will be no music GANs from you left afterwards! --K. Peake 17:28, 23 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Summer 2015 → 2015, as listing a summer is not appropriate for an infobox recording period
 * Remove the genre unless you can source it in prose since the band being indie rock doesn't automatically mean this album is
 * AllMusic referred to the album as indie rock, so I added that into the critical reception section
 * "It is the only studio album to" → "It is the band's only studio album to"
 * "who joined the band in" → "who joined them in"
 * "disappearance and death" → "disappearance and subsequent death"
 * Introduce Pedestrian Verse as being their fourth studio album
 * "and the rest of the band," → "and the other members,"
 * Even though the members being in Glasgow is mentioned in the body, it is not directly linked to the emails part; they are in two different sections
 * "in the summer of" → "during the summer of"
 * "first met the band" → "first met Frightened Rabbit"
 * Pipe electronic to Electronic music
 * "also encouraged the use of space" what does this mean?
 * "received wide critical acclaim." → "received widespread critical acclaim."
 * Why is US Billboard 200 position mentioned when ones like the UK Albums Chart placement are higher than it?
 * ✅ all of the above

Background

 * Remove commas around Pedestrian Verse
 * The tour is not sourced as being 18-months long, unless I missed it from one of the sources?
 * The Hamad ref includes it; link now
 * "Grant and the rest of the band," → "Grant and the rest of Frightened Rabbit,"
 * Img looks good, but lowercase the National per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "with life separately"." → "with life separately."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences being quoted
 * ✅ all of the above

Writing and recording

 * "and the rest of the band" → "and the rest of Frightened Rabbit" but try to mention them being at Glasgow around this time per the lead
 * ""when you're in" → ""[w]hen you're in" per the original using capitalisation at this point
 * Remove pipe on producer
 * "opened for Dessner's band, The National," → "toured with Dessner's band the National" per the source not specifying an opening role and MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "Following that tour, Dessner and Hutchison" → "Following the tour, Dessner and Scott" per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * "which Hutchison described" → "which the latter described" to avoid confusion with Hutchison
 * [15][12] should be put in numerical order
 * "the album was finished at Dessner's home studio," → "Painting of a Panic Attack was finished at Dessner's home studio"
 * ✅ the above

Themes and composition

 * "in which they" → "in which him and his girlfriend"
 * "like Pedestrian Verse and" → "such as Pedestrian Verse and" plus introduce the latter as being the band's second studio album and add the release year in brackets
 * "hopeful about it."" → "hopeful about it"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "of the album, Hutchison says," → "of Painting of a Panic Attack, Hutchison said,"
 * "Lyrically, Painting of a Panic Attack began" → "Thematically, Painting of a Panic Attack began"
 * "sent the initial lyrics to" → "sent the initial demos to" per the source
 * The editing quote is from Scott himself, but you could add the part about his brother's response here too
 * "The most personal track on the record is" → "Its most personal track is"
 * "was an "amalgamation"" → "is an "amalgamation""
 * "In particular, the band began" → "In particular, Frightened Rabbit started"
 * The part about fleshing out arrangements is not sourced, unless I misinterpreted the wording?
 * Pipe dark to Darkness in music
 * "The album closes with" → "Painting of a Panic Attack closes with" but you have added no sources here; [10] can be used for the closer part and [21] for acoustic
 * Pipe acoustic to Acoustic music
 * "says that the band was either going to close with that track" → "said that Frightened Rabbit was either going to close with the track"
 * "because "The two" → "because, "The two"
 * "believed that "contrast" → "believed "that contrast" to make things clearer
 * Any album titles should be in italics instead of speech marks
 * ✅ all of the above

Release and promotion

 * Img looks good, but wikilink Beelitz-Heilstätten per MOS:LINK2SECT

Singles and music videos

 * "of their upcoming album," → "of their then-upcoming album,"
 * The cover art is not sourced as being announced from the PF ref
 * "As part of the album announcement," → "As part of the announcement," but why is this called the first single when it was not released as one?
 * Pipe streaming to Streaming media
 * Change first single to lead single in the sentence that follows, with the wikilink
 * "on 2 March." → "on 2 March 2016."
 * "are completely addicted."" → "are completely addicted"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "On 18 March," → "On 18 March 2016,"
 * "The album's closing track," → "Painting of a Panic Attack's closing track,"
 * "on 4 April." → "on 4 April 2016."
 * Wikilink Beelitz-Heilstätten per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "on 8 April," → "on 8 April 2016,"
 * "On 14 June," → "On 14 June 2016,"
 * ✅ all of the above

Tours and live performances

 * "at the Glasgow School of Art," → "at the Glasgow School of Art (GSA)," per MOS:ACRONYM
 * "the name "Footshooters"." → "the name of Footshooters." since speech marks are useless here
 * "the Glasgow performance," → "the GSA performance,"
 * ""Footshooters" returned on May 11" → "Footshooters returned on 11 May 2016"
 * "from the new album." → "from Painting of a Panic Attack."
 * "on March 28," → "on 28 March,"
 * "In August, Scott Hutchison" → "In August 2016, Hutchison"
 * Tweets → tweets and pipe to Tweet (Twitter)
 * "a United States and United Kingdom tour" → "a tour of the US and the United Kingdom" per MOS:US
 * "of the tenth anniversary of their album" → "of the 10th anniversary of" per MOS:NUM, plus remove the wikilink and release year
 * "Scott Hutchison was reported" → "Hutchison was reported"
 * Wikilink The Guardian
 * ✅ all of the above

Critical reception

 * AllMusic should not be italicised
 * Add more reviews to the ratings box that provided them like PopMatters and Paste, per a maximum of 10 being allowed
 * "received mostly positive reviews" → "was met with mostly positive reviews"
 * Pipe average to Weighted arithmetic mean
 * Remove the indicated favourability due to repetition
 * Remove the ratings assigned to the album in prose because they are in the box on the side
 * "Roisin O'Connor said," → "Roisin O'Connor said that"
 * Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section
 * "referred to Painting as" → "referred to Painting of a Panic Attack as"
 * Remove pipe on The Skinny
 * "instrumentation accompanied Hutchison's" → "instrumentation accompanies Hutchison's"
 * "the way in which" → "the manner in which" to avoid repetitive wording
 * Pipe indie-rock to Indie rock
 * "said that it was a" → "said that it is a"
 * "Dessner's influence could" → "Dessner's influence can"
 * "said that the album fell" → "said the album falls"
 * "the thing that was missing was" → "the thing missing is"
 * ✅ all of the above

Commercial performance and accolades

 * "had a strong commercial showing" → "had a moderate commercial showing" per the album not reaching even the top 10 anywhere outside of Scotland
 * "In the United States," → "In the US,"
 * "Outside of the United States," → "Outside of the US,"
 * Add their UK chart history to verify the two weeks, while [57] should be after the peak position
 * "of 15 April." → "of 15 April 2016."
 * Remove pipe on The Skinny
 * "debut album," → "debut studio album"
 * ✅ all of the above. Changed the link in [57] to be the full chart history rather than a specific week

Track listing

 * Wikilink Scott Hutchison
 * Wikilink Aaron Dessner
 * [16] should be directly after the full-stop
 * ✅ the above. Quirk of the formatting means I couldn't put [16] after the full stop, so I moved it to the track listing

Personnel

 * Pipe lead vocals to Lead vocalist
 * Pipe percussion to Percussion instrument
 * ✅ the above

Charts

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; good luck with this large article though! --K. Peake 11:00, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your review, ! Everything should be fixed now. The last three of my GANs in the pipe were all reviewed last night/today, so I should be working on more soon!  Kncny11  (shoot) 18:15, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I fixed the quote about editing for you, but OCC is not needed in the lead for the UK Albums Chart and why have you kept the US position there over others like Ireland where it charted higher? Bare in mind, the band is not American. --K. Peake 18:57, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * I took out the OCC parenthetical. I initially left Billboard in because, while the band is Scottish, Billboard is older (starting 1945 compared to OCC's 1956), and the album appeared on multiple genre-specific Billboard charts in addition to the 200, so I thought it merited at least one mention. However, I took it out and replaced it with the Irish chart.  Kncny11  (shoot) 19:03, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ after I fixed your usage of American English in the chart positions sentence, as well as making sure that the articles were directed to the appropriate wiki articles. --K. Peake 19:05, 24 March 2021 (UTC)