Talk:Palmyra/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 13:13, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Hi, I'll take this one, may take some time fr me to finish the review thogh, will add a little as I read along. Some initial observations below: FunkMonk (talk)


 * Very well illustrated, but I'd consider enlarging the infobox picture, it is very hard to see it at this size.
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:11, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * The intro seems overly long and detailed, should probably cut down to almost half. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Lead_section#Length
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "saw Palmyra's turning into a prosperous settlement" We talked about lack of genitive s during the Mari, Syria review, here it's the other way around, one too many!
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:11, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * "when an amateur video was posted, which shows Syrian soldiers carrying funerary stones" Was there any indication that they were looting, and not just saving the artifacts? Why should they steal from a museum belonging to their own government?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:11, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Alright, by the way, very nice that you're documenting all these historical sites of Syria, before it is all ground to dust... FunkMonk (talk) 15:45, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:49, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Why are there three points in the locator map?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:11, 21 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Could it be clarified in the caption somehow? FunkMonk (talk) 15:35, 21 March 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm currently sick, and therefore not so active here at the moment, but will be back for the rest of the review soon. FunkMonk (talk) 21:02, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 21:50, 24 March 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks! This image could need a description template, there is no info now. FunkMonk (talk) 14:25, 28 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "Archaeological sounding in the Tell beneath" What is meant by sounding?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 21:40, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Ah, ok, could you "unhide" the link, as most readers may not click on it? FunkMonk (talk) 21:45, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "n 217 BC, a Palmyrene force led by a Sheikh named Zabdibel" Was the term sheikh used at the time?
 * 1 2--Attar-Aram syria (talk) 17:34, 2 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "was found 75 kilometres to the northwest of" Why italics?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 17:34, 2 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "establishing colonies in many of the important trading surrounding cities." Not sure what is meant here.
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 17:50, 2 April 2015 (UTC)


 * Still some "s" issues, but I'll take care of it as I go along.
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 18:46, 2 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "The city also included a Jewish minority" When?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 07:08, 3 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "for by the second century, any notion of a clan lost its importance and disappeared in the third century" Not sure which century is meant here.
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 07:08, 3 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "and Pliny account over Palmyra's political situation is dismissed by modern scholarly" Pliny needs genitive s, and "scholarly" should be "scholars".
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * " (Polis).[210] The concept of citizenship (Demos) appears in an inscription dated to 10 AD, describing the Palmyrenes as a community.[211] In 74 AD, another inscription mentions the Boule (senate) of the city.[210] The military units of Palmyra were headed by the Strategoi (generals),[212] while the Boule managed the civic responsibilities,[213] and appointed two Archons (lords) annually." Are there reasons for why the Greek terms here (and in the rest of the Government section) are capitalised?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 09:14, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Foreign words are sometimes italicized, but capitals should probably only be used if they are in the original language. But since the Greek alphabet is completely different, it would be kind of pointless. FunkMonk (talk) 11:08, 3 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "the Syrian Astarte, Baal-hamon, Baalshamin" What is meant by Syrian?
 * 123--Attar-Aram syria (talk) 14:43, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Ok, I mean it seems Palmyrene gods are mentioned as different from Syrian gods, I guess that is because Palmyra was considered a distinct entity at the time, or how? FunkMonk (talk) 14:57, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 15:06, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Perhaps we should add "wider Syrian deities" or some such then? FunkMonk (talk) 15:17, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * Terms like Jinn, Ginnaye, and Genius should probably not be capitalised. They are not names.
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "approximately 1000 hectares of irrigable land" As above.
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "goes back as early as Hadrian reign." Missing s.
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "and Rome to name a few" Seems a bit too informal, perhaps "among others" is better.
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "who paid the entire cost of emperor Hadrian visit in 129" Again s.
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "however, from the information gathered, it is impossible to determine whether pillaging was taking place" Why italics?
 * 4 .--Attar-Aram syria (talk) 20:29, 3 April 2015 (UTC)
 * The normal way would be to use quotation marks, "it is impossible to determine whether pillaging was taking place". Also, attribute the source in the text when directly quoting. FunkMonk (talk) 17:08, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Yes check.svg Done


 * "the Diocletian's era rebuilt walls surrounded only the northern bank" Not sure what is meant here.
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 20:29, 3 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "n 1751, an expedition led by Wood and Dawkins" Why not full names?
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 20:29, 3 April 2015 (UTC)


 * "city of disputed etymology" Is this really necessary in the intro, when it isn't really informative after all? Should be the last issue. FunkMonk (talk) 12:51, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 13:25, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
 * Well, then all looks good, passed! Keep up the good work! FunkMonk (talk) 14:10, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
 * --Attar-Aram syria (talk) 14:25, 6 April 2015 (UTC)