Talk:Paraho process

Inadequate paraphrasing
Source:
 * "In its direct mode, the retort is very similar to the older gas combustion design. However, significant differences exist in the shale feeling mechanism, in the gas distributors, and in the discharge grate. During operation, raw shale is fed to the retort through a rotating distributor at the top. It descends as a moving bed along the vertical axis of the retort. As it moves, it is heated to pyrolysis temperatures by a rising stream of hot combustion gases. The oil and gas produced are swept up through the bed to collecting tubes and out of the retort to product separation equipment. The retorted shale retains the residual carbon. As the shale approaches the burner bars, the carbon is ignited and gives off the heat required for pyrolyzing additional raw shale."

Wikipedia article:
 * However, compared to the earlier gas combustion retorts the raw oil shale feeding mechanism, the gas distributor, and the discharge grate have differences in their design. In the Paraho Direct process the crushed raw oil shale is fed into the top of the retort through a rotating distributor.''' While descending in the retort as a moving bed, oil shale is pyrolized by rising combustion gases. The retorted shale oil vapors and evolving gases are delivered to collecting tubes carrying them to the product separation unit. As retorted spent shale consists of char, it is combusted in the burner and the produced heat is delivered by recycle gases to pyrolyze raw oil shale. At the same time recycle gases cool the spent shale, which exits through the discharge grate in the bottom of the retort for disposal.

While technical writing often uses much of the same vocabulary because jargon is necessary, that does not mean that we can also follow the same sentence structure and paragraph design as the original source - this passage is inadequately paraphrased. Notice that the entire structure of the two passages is the same. The sentences in the passages each cover the same material in almost precisely the same order. Please see this dispatch about this subtle issue of plagiarism, particularly the section on "paraphrase and summary". Here is a helpful webpage that gives more hints on paraphrasing effectively. If you need help rewriting the passage, you might ask some other users who are not so close to the material for assistance - it helps to have fresh eyes. I would offer to help, but I'm leaving on vacation today. Awadewit (talk) 15:10, 3 June 2009 (UTC)