Talk:Parshvanatha/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Farang Rak Tham (talk · contribs) 17:37, 11 February 2018 (UTC)

Introduction and limitations
Before starting this review, I'd like to state that I have little knowledge of Jainism itself, I mostly edit about Buddhism. But as a result, I am familiar with some Prakrit terminology.

Overview
I have assessed the article at B now.
 * 1. Prose:
 * No plagarism was found.
 * The article reads well, is not too technical, and in-universe writing is generally avoided. Please note though that the name Parshva is not consistently spelled in the article.
 * 2. MOS: Needs some tweaking. Lead contains citations. These need to be moved to the main body of the article per WP:LEAD. The In Literature section needs to be rewritten as prose.
 * 3. References layout: There are no dead links, and references are complete enough to be readily identified.
 * 4. Reliable sources: There are a number of primary sources, which have been used correctly.
 * 5. Original research: None found.
 * 6. Broadness: A number of subjects may have been overlooked. The Encyclopedia of Hinduism, p.208 states that Parshva was a soldier, which is not mentioned. The same article also mentions that the question whether Parshva wore clothes was part of the differences between the two Jain schools (page 211). You have also not mentioned that he joined a community of monks, and what forms of self-mortification he practiced (p. 325). Also, in several sources, such as this Encyclopedia Brittanica article, Parshva is described as one of the founders of Jainism. Although Jains do not see him as a founder, it appears to be mainstream scholarly opinion and should be mentioned.
 * 7. Focus: The Wiki article stays focused, and the size of the article is perfect.
 * 8. Neutral: Yes. The article shows different, sometimes conflicting opinions on every matter.
 * 9. Stable: article is stable.
 * 10-11. Pics: Pictures are relevant and licensed, except for File:Parsva_and_Dharnendra.jpg, which needs some fixing.

Detailed review per section

 * Though not a problem for GA, there are many duplicate wikilinks in the main body of article, that is Varanasi, etc. Use this tool to identify them.
 * You do not use diacritics in the article. I think it is better to use them, since the article is quite specialist in nature. Also, though not a GA criterion, foreign language words should be italicized.

Lead

 * As mentioned above, the citations should all be moved to the body of the article.
 * Benares is archaic, and should be between brackets instead of Varanasi, or left out.
 * Wikilink first instance of Svetambara and delink the next one
 * The Digambara view on Parshvanatha has not received much attention in the lead.
 * reject the theory of difference: awkward. Try to rephrase this with verbs instead of nouns, e.g. reject that the two are different
 * a professor of Sanskrit known for his publications on Jainism. Too detailed for the lead. Cut out.
 * Parshva is popularly seen as a ford-maker... as a teacher?

Historicity

 * four vows In the lead and here you say fourfold restrain, four restraints and four vows. Settle for one.
 * ...some parts of historical claims... You mean claims made by traditional sources?
 * Doubts about his historicity are supported by the most ancient Jain texts... Confusing. Do you mean to say that ancient texts do not clear up the confusion about Parshva's historical dates? Or do you mean that ancient Jain texts themselves directly express doubt about Parshva's timeline?
 * Universal History Is this a chapter name, or a technical term?
 * two Jinas Please expand what this terms means.
 * lack the iconography the iconography of Parshvanatha or that of all the Tirthankaras?

Birth

 * the dark half of the month, to reach a wider audience, you might consider using a term also used outside of India, e.g. waning moon, fortnight of the lunar month, etc.
 * Benares: see above.
 * the Tattvarthadhigama Sutra state the twelve householder vows to be...: state that the twelve householder vows are...
 * don't: Colloquial. Do not is better.
 * take a perpetual and daily vow to go only certain distances and take only certain directions Confusing. If this is about restricting oneself to not travel too far, say so. If this is about not visiting places that are detrimental for the spiritual life, say so. If it is both, say so.

Omniscience

 * the Jain texts state he married Prabhavati, the daughter of Prasenajit (King of Kusasthala)... Interesting. In Buddhism, that king is believed to be a contemporary of the Buddha. (Just a thought here. Nothing to fix.)
 * translates a Jain text as stating...: Complex. Try In Heinrich Zimmer's translation of a Jain text...
 * entered the practice of meditations: started practicing meditation? Started training his mind?
 * Pausha month (December/January): Better to add the western equivalent at first instance of the word Pausha.
 * He meditated for 84 days before attaining Kevala Jnana under a Dhaataki tree near Benaras. Shortly indicate the source to prevent "in-universe writing" (I admit this is not the best term for religious texts, but for lack of a better term).
 * Shortly state in brackets that a jnana is a state of meditation or explain in it in some other way.
 * The Jain mythology describes gods of various heavens attempting to distract or harm Parshvanatha, but the serpent god Dharanendra and goddess Padmavati guard him as he journeys to omniscience No need to put this in a note. It helps to follow the story of Parshva's life.

Moksha, death

 * On the 14th day of the moon in its waning cycle of the Chaitra month (March/April), Parshvanatha gained omniscience. According to whom? Remember the encyclopedic tone.
 * The gods built: wikilink to Deva (Jainism)?
 * contemporaneously: contemporaneous with whom?

February 2018
I will continue with a detailed review per section later. Feel free to insert replies or inquiries.
 * I see you have started working on the article. I will continue the detailed review tomorrow. I am glad you were available that quickly. After having finished the review, I will check upon your progress and let you know if anything else needs to be fixed. Sukhi hotu.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 22:21, 12 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Before I forget, you can always put your responses here as you see fit.
 * I will continue this as soon as I hear from you again.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 12:57, 13 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Still waiting.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 18:15, 16 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Try again once you are available, okay? See you.-- Farang Rak Tham   (Talk) 17:59, 18 February 2018 (UTC)