Talk:Pat Lawlor

Inappropriate Tone
This article is written in a very non-objective tone. Phrases like "Pat had another trick up his sleeve" and "Road Show, a brilliant game that..." make the article read more like sensationalist propaganda than an encyclopedia article. &mdash; KieferSkunk (talk) &mdash; 19:47, 20 January 2007 (UTC)


 * As much as I think Lawlor is da Man, I agree fully. I might tackle this if I get chance, though if not I'm hoping to make a Wikiproject Pinball soon, and if so we can lay don som guidelines for pinball bios. Fractalchez 21:34, 8 February 2007 (UTC)

Tone
Perhaps some of the language is overdone, but I think it could be fairly easily cleaned up. A truly objective tone in dealing with topics like pinball seems kind of disingenuous, though, considering that if Lawlor's game's weren't brilliant and hence enormously successful, he wouldn't warrant an article in an encyclopedia in the first place.

I've taken a few of the superlative words out, I'd rather stick to the facts rather than fanboyism. Rather than saying 'Brilliant and successful', just put the production numbers of his machines and let people come to their own conclusions. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 88.96.109.201 (talk) 10:41, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Tone issues appear to be resolved and is written from a neutral standpoint. Removed tag. Expandinglight5 (talk) 00:11, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

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