Talk:Patsy Torres/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:42, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

I will review this for you now! --K. Peake 07:42, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * The pop music genre is not sourced anywhere in the body


 * Wikilink trumpet in the infobox


 * In the body, the label is identified as Joey Records but it is called Joey International here; which is correct really?


 * Patsy Torres Records is not sourced anywhere in the body


 * The vocal versality part should be sourced in the body while kept here, though the quote can remain as sourced in the lead


 * Wikilink trumpet


 * The wedding event is not notable for the lead


 * "by record promoter Albert Esquivel and released" → "by Albert Esquivel in 1980, after which they released"


 * "and after signing a" → "and she had signed a"


 * Pipe Budweiser to Budweiser trademark dispute


 * Remove the fact the song was written by her grandfather since that is not notable for the lead


 * You can merge the first number-one single part with the elevation into a successful singer sentence


 * Remove the names of the predecessors since these are not notable here


 * "During this time, Tejano music entered its golden age, and Torres was" → "At this point, Torres was" and only keep the pipe on Billboard itself plus remove the comma after the magazine


 * Remove the most-played on radio stations because this is not notable from just two songs


 * "the United States warning, children of" → "the United States, warning children of"


 * "she signed with" → "the singer signed with"


 * Pipe WEA Latina to Warner Music Latina


 * "Torres was the first female Tejano singer" → "Torres was the first Tejano singer"


 * "who helped expand Tejano music's" → "who helped expand the genre's"


 * The "Te Juro" part is not notable for the lead; rather start from the award sentence but as "In 1996, Torres won the Songwriter Award..."


 * Pipe BMI to Broadcast Music, Inc.


 * Merge the fourth para with the above one per overly short size


 * "Torres continues her" → "Torres has continued her" but this is not sourced as being ongoing in the body


 * "Torres received a doctorate in" → "The singer received doctorates in"


 * "who helped spearheaded" → "who helped spearhead" but this fact can be written out and sourced in the body's personal life section

Early life and career beginnings (1957–1982)

 * "Her only musical influence" → "Patricia's only musical influence" per MOS:SAMESURNAME and to avoid starting two consecutive sentences with her


 * Remove commas next to William Torres


 * "several instruments and wrote songs, and who provided Torres" → "several instruments, wrote songs, and provided her"


 * "the saxophone, Torres joined" → "the saxophone, Patsy Torres joined" with the wikilink


 * Wikilink trumpet


 * Pipe Thomas Jefferson High School to Thomas Jefferson High School (San Antonio)


 * "a year later joined her sister's band, Blue Harmony, as" → "a year later, joined her sister's band Blue Harmony, as"


 * "Her sister influenced her" → "She influenced Torres"


 * "Torres eventually toured with Canales and the two bonded," → "The two eventually toured together and former a bond,"


 * "who signed the band in" → "who signed Blue Harmony in"


 * "provided the band with" → "provided Blue Harmony with"

Music career success (1983–1991)

 * Mention the year she signed with Cara Records
 * The book does not provide a year she signed with Cara.


 * Change to Budweiser and pipe to Budweiser trademark dispute


 * "She released her second album" → "She subsequently released her second album"


 * "The group disbanded in" → "They disbanded in"


 * "the singer remained touring" → "though the singer remained touring"


 * Pipe keyboards to Keyboard instrument


 * Wikilink bass guitar


 * Wikilink hard rock


 * "She produced her own music video" → "The singer produced her own music video" with the wikilink


 * Pipe Little Joe y la Familia to Little Joe (singer)


 * "Her single "Amor Con Amor"" → "The singer's single "Amor Con Amor""

Advocacy and The Positive Force Tour (1990–1994)

 * "Her Positive Force Tour campaigned" → "The singer's Positive Force Tour campaigned"


 * "includes mini skits," → "included mini skits,"


 * "She spoke out" → "Torres spoke out"


 * Pipe AIDS to HIV/AIDS


 * "She has inspired" → "The singer has inspired"


 * Does the received part mean she received this or her fans? If the latter, then reword but elsewise keep as current.


 * "female singer" while another" → "female singer", while another"


 * "three different national shows including" → "three different national shows, including"


 * "in University of the Incarnate Word where" → "in the University of the Incarnate Word, where"


 * "In 1990, she signed with" → "In 1990, Torres signed with" per this being a new para


 * Add what year the album was released


 * Pipe WEA Latina to Warner Music Latina


 * Pipe country to Country music


 * "She also became the" → "The singer also became the"


 * "She is considered a" → "Torres is considered a"


 * Introduce Con Todo El Corazon; is this her second studio album under the label, an EP, or something else?


 * "she helped the "Tejano wave" in 1994 with her "crowd-pleasing concerts."" → "the singer helped the "Tejano wave" in 1994 with her "crowd-pleasing concerts"." per MOS:QUOTE

Decline of Tejano music (1995–present)

 * The murder article should only be linked on "shooting death", so link Selena to herself


 * "Radio stations in the United States" → "Radio stations in the US" per MOS:US


 * Pipe regional Mexican music to Regional styles of Mexican music


 * "the song was chosen by" → "while the song was chosen by"


 * "of the city."" → "of the city"." per MOS:QUOTE


 * Pipe BMI to Broadcast Music, Inc.


 * "Torres signed with indie" → "Torres signed with indie label" with the pipe, also why is the label named differently here then in the infobox?


 * "She was named the" → "Torres was named the"


 * Pipe Mammogram to Mammography


 * "Mi Amiga" sponsored" → "Mi Amiga", sponsored"


 * Pipe Susan G. Komen Foundation to Susan G. Komen for the Cure


 * [35] does not back up all of the info before it
 * Yes it does


 * "She also served as" → "The singer also served as"


 * "and performed with symphonies." → "and perform with symphonies."


 * "to continue to dream"." → "to continue to dream."" since this is a full sentence


 * Pipe Mexican American to Mexican Americans


 * The gap sentence is not backed up by [38]
 * Removed


 * "album with the lead single" → "album, with the lead single" with the wikilink


 * "[in Tejano music]". showcasing" → "[in Tejano music]", showcasing"

Personal life

 * Remove comma before David Lucero, however the exact date is not sourced


 * "for Lucero in 1994, Torres" → "for Lucero in 1994; Torres"


 * "my one and only."" → "my one and only"." per MOS:QUOTE


 * "She believes in" → "The singer has belief in"

Discography

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; the lead stuck out as expansive but I made suggestions to help fix that! --K. Peake 10:00, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
 * I have replied to some of your inquiries and fixed most issues. Best – jona  ✉ 15:24, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, I briefly copyedited but slick job from you! --K. Peake 08:00, 19 July 2022 (UTC)