Talk:Paul Mirerekano/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:23, 7 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 16:32, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "was a Burundian politician" okay to link Burundi here.
 * Done.
 * And "agronomist"!
 * Done.
 * "Belgian colonial administration" do we have an article for that?
 * We theoretically could, but we don't have articles for most, if any, articles on the administration of colonial governments in Africa. Ruanda-Urundi is the closest we get.
 * Is there a link for the Prime Minister of Burundi?
 * Linked.
 * "led him to be arrested" -> "resulted in his arrest"
 * "Ruanda-Urundi in " comma before "in"
 * Done.
 * " the Groupe Scolaire de Astrida[3]" move ref to end of sentence.
 * Consider this my response to all of your moving ref concerns. Except in cases where the sentence I have constructed relies heavily on two or more sources across the whole string of words, I have added refs in such a way that they support the text alone which directly precedes them. For example, in this sentence, He studied agriculture for six years at the Groupe Scolaire de Astrida[3] graduating in 1944.[1] ref 3 supports the statement that he studied agriculture at the school for six years, while ref 1 supports the date of his departure. I feel that cramming all of the citations at the end would mean information is lost and the ability to verify would be muddled.
 * "working for the Belgian colonial administration" see above.
 * " 1955 the " comma after 1955.
 * MOS:DATECOMMA only stipulates that for month–day–year format. Commas are not needed to separate dates form the rest of the sentence in day-month-year formats (see ). This is a response to all of your comma concerns.
 * "venture netted him financial success " venture was financially successful
 * Done.
 * "granted a carte de mérite civique" what's that? What does it mean?
 * Civic merit card. I've added a footnote explaining their purpose.
 * "party treasurer[1] and acted" move that ref to the" end of the sentence.
 * "remain in the Congo" clarify which one!
 * Err, it's all the same one. Belgian Congo became the Republic of the Congo at independence (before becoming the DRC as we now know it today).
 * "Rwagasore.[3][2] That" ref order.
 * Swapped.
 * Is there a link for "castes"?
 * Linked to Caste. Caste is the word Lemarchand uses, but it's not quite clear whether he means the Hutu-Tutsi divide (which are sometimes studied as castes) or was speaking more broadly. In Burundi there were some Tutsi who socially had it worse with the Mwami than some Hutus.
 * "was tapped to" what does that mean?
 * Changed to "asked"
 * "Rwagasore was tapped to form a government.[10] Rwagasore did" -> He did..
 * "On 13 October 1961 Rwagasore was assassinated" any more details?
 * At Louis Rwagasore. He was killed in a plot concocted by leaders from the rival PDC, which had lost to UPRONA in the elections. While that assassination is interesting for intrigue on its own account, it has little to do with the feud between Mirerekano and Muhirwa other than Rwagasore being gone.
 * "the Kingdom of Burundi" if it was called "Kingdom of Burundi" at the time, pipe the whole thing, not just Burundi.
 * Done.
 * "its intervention.[15] ... At Mwami Mwambutsa IV's intervention" bit repetitive.
 * Revised.
 * "newly constituted central" newly-constituted.
 * Done.
 * "1965[18] after" move that ref to the end.
 * "managed his campaign.[1] He won by an overwhelming majority.[20] " merge.
 * Done.
 * "In October 1965 Hutu soldiers" comma after 1965.
 * "executed[4][21] on either 19 or 25" move the refs to the end of the sentence.
 * " July 2013 the" comma after 2013.
 * "body was buried[22] and " move ref to end.
 * ISBNs should be consistently formatted.
 * done.
 * I've responded to your above comments. -Indy beetle (talk) 23:45, 7 September 2021 (UTC)