Talk:Paul Shoup

OTRS tag move
I have moved the above WP:OTRS tag from the article to the talk page. It was added to the article before it had a talk page to place it on, in this diff by OTRS volunteer Adrignola. The tag is unmodified other then the move. Monty 845  16:39, 6 October 2011 (UTC)

Biography Style - is it in conflict with Wiki Style?
Copied from the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal:Biography on wiki (see below): this is in direct contradiction to the comment added that this page wasn't formal enough. Which is it? I'm a newbie here and want to do it right.

Biography (from the Greek words bíos (βίος), meaning 'life', and gráphein (γράφειν), meaning 'to write') is a genre of literature or film which presents a relatively full account of the most interesting and important events of a notable person's life. While a biography may focus on a fictional person, the term usually refers to non-fiction works. As opposed to summaries of people's lives, such as profiles or curriculum vitae, a biography is a continuous narrative which interprets and explains the person's character, personality, and social context. Wjenning (talk) 08:23, 7 October 2011 (UTC)


 * I think it's not necessarily that the article's tone is too informal for a biography, but that it's at times unsuitable for an encyclopedia. An article should be interesting without embellishing what it is describing. Examples of what I would consider to be unsuitable:
 * "While writing would become a life-long passion for Shoup"
 * "While there he began learning first-hand the business of running a railroad."
 * Things like the above should be replaced with plain-language variations, such as:
 * "While he wrote for various magazines during his early life"
 * "While there, he began his training in managing a railroad."
 * I think this is the sort of thing Orangemike was thinking about when he tagged the article. If you have further questions, feel free to reply here or on my talk page. wctaiwan (talk) 08:46, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

Those are excellent examples : do you mind if I edit the page with these suggestions? I will reread other parts of the article with this in mind as well and make edits soon Wjenning (talk) 14:58, 7 October 2011 (UTC)
 * By all means. Good luck, and thanks for the work you have done here. wctaiwan (talk) 08:31, 8 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Look at the biographies of other human beings here, not necessarily railroaders, but somebody like Grace Hopper or Chinua Achebe. The tone of an encyclopedic entry is perforce more matter-of-fact, less narrative in nature. --Orangemike (talk) 20:34, 8 October 2011 (UTC)