Talk:Paul Tibbets/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk · contribs) 04:51, 21 September 2013 (UTC)

AustralianRupert (talk) 07:08, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Comments
 * the article is well referenced; there are no dabs; and the images seem correctly licenced, although they lack alt text (not a requirement);
 * "✅ I know I should add ALT text, but they make it a painful experience. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * there appears to be one dead link:
 * ✅ Repaired. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * date format inconsistency, for instance consider "February 23, 1915" and "22 January 1946";
 * ✅ Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "he became assistant for bomber operations of the Twelfth Air Force" --> "assstant for bomber operations" doesn't quite sound right, should it be "the assistant for bomber operations";
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * " In 1927, when Paul was 12 years old, he performed his first flight; he was dropping..." --> " In 1927, when Paul was 12 years old, he performed his first flight, dropping..."
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "at the Hialeah track" --> should this be linked to Hialeah Park Race Track?
 * ✅ Yes. Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "Tibbets qualified for the Aviation Cadet Training Program" --> do we know what he had to do to qualify?
 * ✅ "Candidates had to be between the ages of 18 and 22, have a high school diploma with at least 1.5 credit hours worth of math, and have graduated in the top half of their class." In practice, there were far more volunteers than positions at this time, so the bar was a bit higher in practice. But having  attended a military school, had some college education, and gained a bit of flight experience, Tibbets was ahead of the pack. Added this. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * the second paragraph of the Early military career section seems out of sequence, for instance it mentions 1940-41 before his marriage in 1938;
 * ✅ Re-organised paragraph. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "where he was engineering officer" --> "where he was the engineering officer"?
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * inconsistent spelling: "MacDill" v "McDill";
 * ✅ Typo. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "It had been hastily assembled to meet pressure for an early deployment" --> "It had been hastily assembled to meet demands for an early deployment";
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "the overall mission was hailed a success for its ability to reach a target against stubborn opposition" -->"the overall mission was hailed a success because it had reached the target despite stubborn opposition";
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "He chose Tibbets and Major Wayne Connors. Tibbets flew Major General Mark W. Clark while Connors flew Brigadier General Lyman Lemnitzer to Gibraltar" --> "He chose Tibbets and Major Wayne Connors. Tibbets flew Major General Mark W. Clark to Gibraltar while Connors flew Brigadier General Lyman Lemnitzer"?
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "started to appear on the front pages of all American and world newspapers" --> "started to appear on the front pages of many American and world newspapers"?
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "An interview of Paul Tibbets can be seen in the 1982 movie Atomic Cafe" --> "An interview of Paul Tibbets appeared in the 1982 movie Atomic Cafe";
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "...as well as "Men Who Brought the Dawn" episode of the Smithsonian Networks War Stories (1995)..." --> "as well as the "Men Who Brought the Dawn" episode of the Smithsonian Network's War Stories (1995)..."?
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * inconsistent capitalisation: "Deputy Director for Operations" v. "deputy director for the National Military Command System";
 * ✅ De-capitalised Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * there are a few duplicate links reported by the duplicate link tool: Tinian; General (United States); Carl Spaatz; Hunter Air Force Base; MacDill Air Force Base;
 * ✅ unlinked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * "United States government apologized to Japan" (the link here probably should be removed and moved to an earlier mention);
 * ✅ unlinked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * second comma: "November 1, 2007 at the age of 92" (after "2007").
 * ✅ Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 21 September 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for making those changes, Hawkeye. They look good. I'm happy that it meets the criteria. Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 22:49, 21 September 2013 (UTC)