Talk:Paul Waner/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 05:50, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

Lead

 * The lead is the section that needs the most improvement. In general, it should be expanded (to at least double the length).
 * A good lead should show the progression of a player's career (i.e. the highlights of his season-to-season accomplishments), while integrating his career achievements (e.g. being in the 3000 hit club, number of batting titles). Babe Ruth is a good example of a lead that does both.
 * Some things I would recommend adding are
 * 1) He played most of his career with the Pirates
 * 2) He played in and lost the 1927 World Series
 * 3) All-star appearances
 * 4) 10th all-time in triples
 * 5) That his number was retired, and when
 * 6) He had a brother, plus the "most hits" accomplishments or "second brother pair in HOF (if it's still a small number in total today)", or both
 * 7) At the end (if it was really that well known): his reputation for only being able to hit with whiskey
 * It's up to you what you want to add, and how you want to organize it.
 * After the first mention of Major League Baseball, write "(MLB)" next to it


 * I believe I've expanded it enough. Mentioned: Triples, Doubles, team records, 3 batting titles, 8 seasons with 200+ hits, him and younger brother lloyd in hall of fame, and postseason appearance loss to Yankees. Hamma085 (talk) 17:38, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

Early life

 * His brother Lloyd Waner ===>>> His younger brother Lloyd Waner - Done
 * He was born with the middle name of John but his middle name was changed from John to Glee after an uncle of the same name gave him a shotgun at the age of 6. Waner stated ===>>> Waner was born with the middle name of John but his middle name was changed from John to Glee after an uncle named Glee gave him a shotgun at the age of 6. He stated (unclear otherwise, in the first sentence) - Done
 * with the larger apparent size of the baseball he was able to hit the center more often. <<<=== Make this a separate sentence. - Done
 * What classes were the Southwest League and PCL at the time? - Added Rookie and Class AA respectively Hamma085 (talk) 16:27, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

Pittsburgh Pirates

 * In general, point out how the Pirates did in key years. I would point out years where they finished second, along with how many games back from first, and who won the division that year. I would also point out the few years where they had a losing record and that they only finished with a losing record three times with Waner on the team. - Added information for some losing seasons and referenced the three losing seasons in 15 years as well as finishing in the top 3 seven times while he was on the team.
 * 1927 was a standout year ===>>> The 1927 season was a standout year (don't start a sentence with a number) - Done
 * RBI (131) ===>>> RBIs (131) - Done
 * In his only postseason appearance ===>>> In the only postseason appearance of his career (more specific) - Done
 * The consecutive XBH sentence should be before the postseason sentence - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * , he collected at least 200 hits ===>>> He also collected at least 200 hits (separate sentence) - Done
 * a .368 batting average with 117 runs ===>>> a .368 batting average and 117 runs - Done
 * In 1933, Major League Baseball hosted the inaugural MLB All-Star Game ===>>> The 1933 season was also the first year that Major League Baseball hosted the inaugural MLB All-Star Game - Done
 * he hit .362 and led the league in hits (217) ===>>> hitting .362 and leading the league in hits (217) - Done
 * 1937 was the eighth time ===>>> The 1937 season was the eighth time - Done

Later career

 * with a .258 average, 39 RBIs, 86 hits ===>>> recording a .258 average, 39 RBIs, and 86 hits - Done
 * playing 92 total games (83 with the Dodgers and nine with the Yankees after being released by the former on September 1). He batted .280, 17 RBIs, and 40 hits. ===>>> He played 92 total games, 83 with the Dodgers and nine with the Yankees after being released by the former on September 1, batting .280 with 17 RBIs and 40 hits. - Done
 * making one plate appearance as a pinch hitter and getting walked in his one appearance ===>>> making one plate appearance as a pinch hitter in which he drew a walk. - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:38, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

Later life and legacy

 * You never state the nicknames of Big Poison and Little Poison - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * Some things seem un-cited:
 * The most hits as brothers - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * Second pair of brothers in HOF - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * His death - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * The retirement of his number and plaque - Done Hamma085 (talk) 16:19, 30 November 2019 (UTC)

Overall

 * PAUL WANER BECOMES SEVENTH MEMBER OF THE 3,000-HIT CLUB" <<<=== Make this not ALL CAPS - Done
 * Do you have the McMane, Fred page number(s)? - Added, it was page 126-128
 * No dab links.
 * All of the links work.
 * No plagiarism concerns.

The prose is pretty good. In the main part of the article, the main thing I suggested is to add the Pirates' performance when relevant. The lead needs the most work. It should be longer, and repeat the highlights from the main part of the article. I think this is your first good article nomination, so let me know if you have any questions. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 07:31, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * Sportsfan77777, I believe I have made all the necessary changes, mainly adding information to the lead. Please let me know if it seems a bit all over the place. Hamma085 (talk) 17:42, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
 * I think the lead is much better now, good job! I made some tweaks throughout, and will pass the article. Good work! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 19:44, 1 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much for your suggested improvements and your help! Hamma085 (talk) 20:06, 1 December 2019 (UTC)